With All My Heart
by rnkas
Summary: This is the story of a girl from the Marauder's generation. Sabrina Johnson, a witch from America, came to Hogwarts when she was fourteen. This is her story, from a troubled fourteen-year-old, to a woman who loved a man in the world that she left behind.
1. Midnight Talks

A/N: This story has been started and restarted about a million times. Sorry to you guys who keep rereading it – though there aren't many. I just can't find a good place to start it. Maybe this is it.

I sat in the bed for hours that night, just looking at the ceiling. I might have fallen asleep, for an hour at most. To tell the truth, I wasn't sure if I could sleep, or if I wanted to. I woke up (if I'd even fallen asleep, which didn't seem very likely), and glanced at the grandfather clock across the room. It was 1:30. I'd been fourteen for over an hour, and I hadn't even noticed. Suddenly feeling wide awake, I got out of bed and walked over to the window. The Hogwarts grounds were dark and empty. All I could see of the Forbidden Forest were the shadows of trees. The shadows were the same color as the trees were when I'd arrived at Hogwarts that afternoon.

It was really quiet. There were only a couple people in the whole entire castle. It was the summer – what could you expect? As far as I knew, the only people here besides me were Professor Dumbledore (the headmaster), Professor McGonagall (some teacher), and Remus Lupin.

The view of the dark grounds was beginning to bore me, so I walked downstairs to the Common Room. I expected to be alone. After all, there was a 75 percent chance that this Remus Lupin kid wasn't even in Gryffindor. So, I was 75 percent sure that the Common Room would be empty. I doubted that Professor McGonagall, who was also the head of Gryffindor house, would be there. As I neared the bottom step, I saw a boy sitting on the closest armchair to the fire, just staring at it. There wasn't anything remarkable about this boy from the back. Of course, few people look remarkable from behind. He had sandy-blonde hair, and he wore muggle clothes.

I was hoping to be able to sneak out of the Common Room before he saw me. At least, before he could say anything. The last thing I wanted was a conversation with an apparently normal kid. I slowly lowered my foot onto the last stair, when it creaked. I cursed inwardly. The boy whipped around, looked at me, and smiled.

"Oh, hi," he said.

"Hey." I was hoping that the conversation would end there, but he continued.

"I thought I was the only one who stayed up this late." I liked his smile. It was, strangely, different than most people's smiles. I was used to the sympathetic smile. I'd gotten it from Dumbledore, McGonagall, and countless of my classmates back at Morgan's. I was even used to the condescending smile, which Dolores had constantly given me whenever I let it slip that I was a muggle-born. It was really only three, maybe four, other people who had given me true smiles in the past few months.

"I couldn't sleep. I can go back upstairs, if you want," I said quietly, pointing back up the stairs where my dormitory was.

"No, it's okay." Seeing that as an invitation, I sat next to him on the couch.

"So, what are you doing here?" I asked after a couple minutes of silence. "Why aren't you at home?" I sounded bitter. He didn't catch it.

"My aunt had a conference overseas. Professor Dumbledore said I could stay until she came back." It sounded rehearsed.

"What was the conference for?"

"Something with the ministry."

"Oh."

"I'll be going home in a couple days."

"Oh." _See?_ a voice in my head whispered, _People who have a home to go to always go there. That's why people feel bad for orphans. We don't have homes. _I swallowed the lump in my throat. _I could have had a home,_ I told the voice.

"What about you?" His voice pulled me back into the Common Room, and away from the conversation I was having inside of my head.

"Me? It's a long story."

"It's the middle of the night. We have four hours until breakfast," he said, checking his watch.

"I guess."

"Well?"

"I'd rather not talk about it." I was hoping beyond hope that he'd just leave it at that. I figured that he wouldn't. He was a teenage boy. Most teenage boys, not that I had a lot of experience in the matter, were nosy.

"Oh."

There was another awkward pause. He'd left it at that. I was grateful for that. I didn't like to _think_ about the last few months. I don't know if I would've been able to tell someone about them. At least Dumbledore had already been told. McGonagall hadn't asked.

"So, where are you from? You have a weird accent," he said. He was trying to change the subject.

"America."

"That would explain it."

"Yeah."

"Why haven't I seen you around?"

"I went to a different magic school – in America."

"What school?" he asked. He sounded genuinely curious. I couldn't help but reply.

"Morgan Le Fay's School of Magic."

"Tell me about it," he said, but it sounded more like a question than a command.

"It's an all-girl's school. Nobody really knows where in America it is. Most people guess that it's in upstate New York, or Maine. Nobody really knows, though. I loved it there. The winters were long and cold. The dormitories were small. There were no school houses. You were split up based on age, and your dormitories were assigned by chance. I had the best dormitory. There were three other girls in it." I stopped, and swallowed. "I loved it there."

"Why don't you go there anymore?" He politely ignored by brief pause, and let the conversation continue.

"It, well, it reminds me of stuff I'd rather forget." Once again, he didn't push. He seemed willing to let me say what I wanted to, and to let me stop when I wanted to. It was weird, telling this to someone I barely knew, even though I stopped before I got to anything really personal. He seemed to understand what I meant.

"Why do you live with your aunt?" I asked. It was my turn to change the subject.

"My parents died when I was four. She was my only relative." He half-smiled. "She used to be one of those old ladies who yells at kids for whispering, and if a football goes into their yards, it's a lost ball. She wasn't thrilled about taking me in, but, well." He paused.

"Man, I'm making her sound like a real jerk. She's nice, really. She's different now. Taking me in, well, it changed her. She's not the same person she was ten years ago."

"I wish I had an aunt to take me in." The words slipped out without my meaning them to. Remus looked at me sadly, and I hated it. I'd gotten that look from everyone for the past three months, since my mom died. It was the sympathy. But, he didn't put it in a smile. He put it in his eyes. I liked it better there.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"It's nothing." _Damn_, I thought to myself, _Why did that have to slip out?_

"Listen, Sabrina, it feels better when you tell someone. Trust me. I know. You can tell me." I figured that I owed him an explanation, after all that pushing that he didn't do. I took a deep breath. I had no idea why I was telling him this. God, I didn't even know him.

"My dad died before I was born. For the longest time, it was just my mom and me. We were never really close. When she told me that she was sending me to Morgan's, the school of magic, we got into a huge fight. I never talked to her again if I could help it.

"Three months ago, she died. I feel horrible because we never made up." I'd said it. I couldn't believe that I had. I couldn't even tell Rose and Kylee. And they were my best friends now that, well…

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. And, I guess because of those deep brown eyes of his, I knew that he meant it.

"So, what's your story?" I asked. I'd spilled all my lifelong secrets (well, not all, but I'd definitely spilled some), and it was his turn.

"Before I was born, my parents had another son. He ran away from home when he was twelve. He was psychotic - totally messed up. When I was four, he came back and killed my parents. I've lived with my aunt ever since."

"I'm sorry." I tried to let him know that I meant it - that I genuinely cared about his life - but I didn't have those same eyes as he did.

"It's okay."

We sat there quietly for a while, just gazing into the fire, watching it slowly die down.

"If we wait here long enough," Remus whispered, "The house-elves come and restart the fire in the early morning. I've seen it a few times. They try not to be seen, but if you wait long enough, you can see them." I curled up on the couch next to Remus's armchair.

"Can I wait with you?" I asked.

Remus was right - we did see the house-elves. Only two of them came into the Common Room to start the fire. They ignored Remus and me. I wasn't sure if they even saw us sitting there. By the time that they'd arrived, the fire was completely out. The house-elves pointed their knobby fingers at the fire, and the fire began to crackle once again. The house-elves left immediately.

"I don't know why I like that," Remus said, quietly, "It's just a fire. But ever since I woke up early during my first night here, and saw them, I've loved seeing it. It doesn't make sense," he shrugged, "But there it is."


	2. September 1st

A couple of days later, Remus's aunt picked him up. I was sad to see him go. He was nice. Maybe I just liked the fact that he didn't give me the look of sympathy that everyone else had given me. I didn't get to meet her. Professor McGonagall had told us at lunchtime that his aunt was in Professor Dumbledore's office. She said that his aunt was talking to Dumbledore, so there was no need to hurry, but he should pack up his stuff and go soon. She didn't say anything to me.

I hadn't really made up my mind about whether or not I liked Professor McGonagall. She didn't ask questions, which was good, but I didn't know much about her. She was friendly. She wasn't Remus.

That summer, I had three jobs simultaneously. I refused to have free time. Free time was thinking time, and I wanted as little of that as possible. I got permission from Dumbledore to go to Hogsmeade since, technically, he was my guardian now. I worked at a bookstore in Hogsmeade, called _Pen and Paper_. It was run by an old man named Steven. His bookstore was rare among wizarding bookstores for a very simple reason. He had muggle books.

It wasn't as if he didn't have any wizard books. In fact, his store was primarily made up of wizard books. There were spell books, wizarding fiction books, magical history books, and every book in between. But he had a whole section of muggle fiction. In that section, he had mostly old literature books. Well, perhaps they weren't old. For all I knew about muggle life, they could have been written that very year. But the books weren't books that you read once and throw away. The muggle books that he had were muggle books that you read over and over again.

I also worked at the _Three Broomsticks_ during the evenings. That was when Madam Rosmerta got most of her business, so that was when I worked for her. I got to see all sorts of different witches and wizards. I rarely talked to them, of course, except to ask them what they wanted to drink, but it was interesting just to see them, and to hear Madam Rosmerta's opinion of them.

"See that young one over there?" she'd say, and I'd nod, "He's eighteen. Just graduated Hogwarts. Not much older than you are. His name's Mundungus Fletcher. Slimey bloke, if I ever saw one. Keep an eye on him."

My third job was small, but it took a little bit of time off my hands. I fed a few cats that belonged to an old lady. Often, her granddaughter would come and visit her. In fact, the old lady's granddaughter was the one who had hired me in the first place. Her name was Arabella Figg. She'd seen me working at _Pen and Paper_, and asked me if I would be willing to feed her grandmother's cats daily. She was worried that her grandmother's failing mind would end up starving the cats to death. I told her that I would be able to until the school year started, and so I had my third job.

All of this ended in an excess of pocket money. True, I was on my own, and I needed my own pocket money, but I had four more years until I'd have to feed and house myself. At that time, I wasn't completely on my own.

Teachers began to trickle in, one by one. I usually tried to avoid them, because they'd just ask what I was doing there, and then I'd have to tell them the whole story. But I met one of the teachers, and he seemed pretty nice.

He was big. As in gigantic and huge. He didn't really seem disturbed by my lack of emotion like McGonagall was. I guess that was why I wasn't her biggest fan. I weirded her out. Even though she just knew that I was an orphan, she thought I should show some emotion. Instead, I was just numb to everything. It was like I had a bubble around me, keeping me from getting hurt.

In those early morning hours, I'd taken to strolling around the grounds, wandering in the forest. If I ever saw a light on in Hagrid's hut, I'd usually go in and make him an early breakfast. For someone who couldn't cook, he certainly had a lot to cook with in his house. It was just another thing to keep me from having free time, and I was grateful for it.

He liked to talk to me, and I liked to talk to him. I was able to avoid any questions about stuff that hurt to think about, and for some reason, I think he did the same.

September 1st crept into view slowly, like a sunrise. For June, July, and most of August, September seemed ages away. The days would creep by slowly. Summer seemed like it would last forever. But the last few weeks of August sped by, just when I was wishing that they'd slow down.

The morning of the first, I cleaned up the room I was staying in. My stuff had spread all over, and since other people would be coming in, I didn't want them to have to deal with my mess. I also didn't want them asking questions. The more normal I seemed, the fewer questions they would ask. I hoped.

Lunch was really plain. I could tell that the house-elves were already working on the feast that night, so lunch was simple. I was fine with that. I didn't care what I ate.

That evening, I heard voices downstairs. I was sitting in the Common Room, reading a muggle book from _Pen and Paper_, when I heard the voices. I glanced up at the clock, saw the time and groaned.

"Ms. Johnson?" It was McGonagall.

"I know, I know," I groaned. I followed her out of the Common Room and down to where the rest of the school, it seemed, was. They were right outside of the Great Hall, rushing in and pushing.

"Hey Sabrina!" So much for being inconspicuous. But, I was glad to see him. Besides him and Hagrid, I didn't know anyone. During the summer, when there was no one to know, it didn't seem like such a big deal. Now that there were more people, being alone was harder, and more conspicuous.

"Hey Remus," I answered, making a beeline toward him.

"What happened to your arm?" I asked. His arm was in a sling and he had scratches on his hands.

"Oh, this?" he said, shrugging, "It's nothing."

"Moony's a klutz," a boy next to Remus said. "He once fell down four flights of stairs."

"You tripped me, James," Remus sighed.

"So? You still broke a rib and got a concussion," James protested. Remus rolled his eyes.

"Aren't you going to introduce us to your new friend?" another boy asked. By then, the five of us, Remus, his three friends, and I, were seated at one of the four long tables.

"Oh, guys, this is Sabrina Johnson," said Remus, "Sabrina, these are the guys: James Potter, Sirius, and Peter Pettigrew."

James was interesting, to say the least. All three of them were. He had permanently messy black hair, hazel eyes and glasses. Sirius also had messy black hair, but it looked less purposeful than James's. Peter was short and squat and really stood out in their group.

I didn't pay attention to the sorting. I clapped when I was supposed to clap. I didn't smile. I didn't cheer. _It's a horrible practice. It tells children who they can and can't be friends with. We don't need that._ Artemis's words.

"You're lively," James laughed. Then, as Dumbledore stood up to make a speech, James emptied a little packet of blue-gray powder into Sirius's goblet. When James saw me watching, he held a finger to his lips, and smiled sneakily.

"Don't worry. It won't hurt him," Remus whispered in my ear, "We do this every single year, and he never gets it."

"What'll it do?"

"You'll see."

And I did see. Once Dumbledore finished talking, and the food appeared, Sirius filled his goblet with pumpkin juice. The powder dissolved. He took a big gulp, and then smiled.

Sirius started to laugh. He laughed so hard that he started to cry. He couldn't stop. His face turned bright red and he just kept right on laughing.

For the first time in months, I felt myself beginning to smile. I started to join in the laughter. The people around us started to laugh, starting with James, Remus, and Peter, who knew why Sirius was laughing in the first place. Then the whole Gryffindor table started to laugh. It was contagious, and soon the whole entire hall was erupting with laughter, all because of James and Sirius. Then, as quickly as it had come, Sirius stopped. Slowly, the laughter died down.

"Well, that was weird," Sirius said, stabbing a drumstick and gulping it down. James, Remus and I just exchanged knowing looks and smiled.

"Oh my God," James muttered reverently.

"What?" I asked innocently.

"You don't want to know," Remus mumbled under his breath.

"It's Lily," he breathed, "She's beautiful."

"James," Sirius said patiently, "You've said that ten times a day for three years now. Are you ever gonna cut it out?"

"No. But she's even more beautiful than last year. You can't get more beautiful than her." He was staring at her. I knew that she could tell, but she was ignoring him. James didn't know that.

"He's also said that ten times a day for three years," Remus muttered. The girl in question was sitting only a few seats away, chatting happily with her friends.

"Oh my God," I whispered.

"What?" James asked, snapping out of his reverie.

"She looks just like…"

"Like who? Some goddess?" Sirius raised his eyebrows at James, questioning his sanity.

"No, like Rose."

"Rose?" That was Sirius.

"Rose Evans. I went to school with her. She was one of my best friends."

"Lily has a twin?" Remus asked.

"Yeah, Rose and Lily – they're identical. And then there's Petunia, their older sister, but she's a complete brat. It's so weird seeing her here. It's like Rose with long hair."

"Beautiful hair," James whispered.

"James?"

"Yeah, Sirius?"

"Could you do me a favor?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Shut up."


	3. Stories and Classes

A/N: Thanks for reading this far. Please review, as it will not only make my day, it will make my week.

After dinner, I followed the boys up to the Common Room, as if I didn't know where it was. I just didn't want them asking questions that I didn't want to answer. Remus just kept surprising me. When Sirius asked how we knew each other, he told them that we'd met in Diagon Alley when shopping for school supplies. He understood that I didn't want to share all of my life's woes with complete strangers, even when I had with him. Not that those were _all_ of my life's woes. Just some of them.

"And then BAM, it turned bright pink," James was saying.

"Best class that day," Sirius sighed.

"Best class all year."

"You should've seen her face."

"It looked horrible," Remus told me, "McGonagall looks horrible with pink hair, trust me." And, I did. I didn't know McGonagall that well, but she didn't seem like she'd be the type to have pink hair.

I walked up the staircase to the girl's room. There were already four girls in there.

"I'm telling you, Lils, stop being friends with him," one girl was insisting. She was tall and thin, with curly brown hair. She was sitting on the edge of the bed next to mine. She was talking to the girl named Lily, Rose's twin. Lily was sitting cross-legged on her bed, facing her. It was incredible how identical Rose and Lily were. I mean, I'd met identical twins before, but usually, after a while, you could tell them apart. I knew that if Lily got a haircut, I'd be lost as to who was who.

"Can't this wait until at least tomorrow?" another girl half-begged, "We just got here." She was sitting on the other side of Lily. She was shorter than the other two (Lily and the other girl were quite tall), and she was already in her pajamas.

"Hey, who're you?" Once again, so much for being inconspicuous.

"Sabrina Johnson."

"How come I haven't seen you before?" The girl who'd been talking to Lily hardly gave me a moment to catch my breathe.

"I switched schools."

"Oh."

"You're sure polite, George," Lily said to her.

"Sorry," 'George' said, though not sorry at all. There was obviously some serious tension between Lily and George.

"I'm Lily Evans," Lily said, "Wait, I think I've seen you before."

"I'm one of Rose's friends. I visited a couple of summers ago."

"Oh yeah," Lily said, smiling now that she'd placed who I was, "You're the one who turned the teacup into the rat, right?" I gave her a faint smile.

"Yeah."

"Ophelia Nailah," said the girl sitting next to Lily, holding out her hand for me to shake. Ophelia had light brown hair in a bun on top of her head. I don't think she ever stopped smiling. Even when Lily was fighting with the girl who I now knew was George, Ophelia had a slight smile on her face. "But everyone just calls me 'Lia.' I honestly don't know what my parents were thinking."

"Alice Creevy." Alice had a pixie cut, which looked great with her black hair. Her bed was on the other side of mine.

"Georgia Small." Georgia had curly brown hair that went to her shoulders. She had already put up posters of the Chudley Canons behind her bed.

"Nice to meet you guys." I then made a beeline for my bed. I don't think I'd ever been that tired. I hadn't been that happy, though, since, well, a while. It didn't make me grin or anything, but I was happier, I guess. I didn't smile very often.

The next morning, my happiness had diminished a little. It certainly didn't help that I woke to yells and arguing.

"You can't tell me who to be friends with!" Lily was shouting. She was already dressed. She was brandishing her hairbrush as she yelled.

"Lily, are you blind? Snape's evil!" Georgia was protesting. Georgia was still in her pajamas, but she too was standing up and yelling.

"Next thing you know, you'll be telling me to be friends with Potter!" She said his name as if it were a swearword.

"Well, at least he's-"

"He's what? A Gryffindor? Is that all you care about?"

_It's a horrible practice. It tells children who they can and can't be friends with. We don't need that._ Artemis's words.

"Guys, when I said to wait until tomorrow, I was kidding." Lia was still in bed, and her words were muffled by her pillow. I glanced over at her to see that she'd covered her head with her pillow to block out Georgia and Lily's argument.

"Stay out of this Lia," Lily warned her. I just pretended to be sleeping.

"Just stop arguing, guys. Seriously. It's sickening." Alice was also dressed, but she was calmly combing her hair (she didn't have enough to brush it).

"Don't get involved, Alice."

"Hey George," Alice said.

"Yeah?"

"What do you think of that new girl?" Obviously, my fake-sleeping worked.

"Weird. Definitely weird."

"She's a friend of Rose's," Lily said. "When I met her a few years ago, she seemed nice. But she's different now. I agree with George. She doesn't talk. She doesn't even smile."

"Guys, don't be mean," Ophelia interrupted. "She's probably got a reason."

My alarm broke the silence, so I pretended that I was just waking up. I stretched a bit and then went to the bathroom to change.

When I went back into the room, the girls were already gone, so I went down to the Common Room.

"Come on Moony, let's just go," James was saying.

"Wait five more minutes, please. Lia said she was up." I found myself smiling. I loved the sound of his voice. Ever since we'd met at the beginning of the summer, I'd felt a sort of connection to him. I don't know how or why, but it seemed as if he understood me better than anyone else.

"Hey guys," I said, walking down the stairs.

"Told you," Remus said, grinning, to James.

"Where're Sirius and Peter?" I asked.

"They're at breakfast already," Remus answered, "Sirius only cares about food and girls, so he didn't really want to wait."

"Oh."

"So, how was your summer?" Remus asked.

"Boring. It's nice to see people in this place."

"Wait, you spent the summer here?" James asked, curiously.

"Long story," I muttered.

"Just don't tell Sirius. He'll be so jealous."

"What do you mean?"

"Sirius doesn't exactly have an ideal family." That didn't make any sense to me. A bad family is better than no family, right?

"Oh."

"I'm warning you," Remus told me, as we approached the Great Hall, "What you're about to see is scary and disgusting." I raised my eyebrows.

We entered the Great Hall, and what I saw next did scare me. I mean, it's not often that you see a pancake-eating contest, and the whole school cheering the contestants on – even the teachers. McGonagall was standing up, trying to see what was going on.

"Sirius! Go Sirius!" The boys shouted.

"GEORGIA!" the girls were screaming.

"Wha-" I began.

"Tradition. Sirius didn't want to miss it," James explained. I smiled a little, and began cheering as well.

It ended fifteen minutes and 73 pancakes later.

"The winner, Ms. Small with 40 pancakes," James was announcing, "The loser – Sirius with his measly 33."

"She's still going to eat lunch, just wait," Remus whispered. I smiled. I sat down at the table with James, Peter and Remus for breakfast. Sirius joined us a few minutes later.

"I was so close, guys," he moaned, shaking his head.

"There's always next year," James reminded him.

"What class do we have first?" Peter asked.

"Potions," Remus responded, "Kill me now."

"Come on, Moony," James protested, "You're not that bad."

"Yeah I am."

"I'm worse," I said, "At my old school, Potions wasn't really a big thing. I haven't taken that class since 1st year."

"See, Moony?" James persisted, "You won't be the worst in the class."

"Watch me."

And Remus was right. He was the worst at Potions. Even I was better. And that was saying a lot. Slughorn just sighed when Remus's cauldron melted. Remus was right on another count, too. Georgia did eat lunch. Sirius didn't. Georgia did.

In the afternoon, we had Herbology and Transfiguration. Herbology was also one of those classes that they didn't really take seriously at my old school. I guess Morgan's didn't care too much about understanding how plants work. They also probably figured that there was nothing that a potion could do that a spell couldn't. Transfiguration, though, was my strong point. It, along with Defense Against the Dark Arts and Charms, was a key class at Morgan's.

The days passed relatively happily. I had a suspicion that Lily really wasn't my biggest fan. Lia was nice. She was kind and friendly to everyone. In the dormitory, she would hang out with me, since I wasn't really that close with any of the girls. Georgia was cool. She and Lily fought a lot, but often they were able to get along. She played Quidditch (Beater, I think), so she hung out with Gryffindors in different years. Alice was nice, too, but she rarely hung out with any of us. She was friends with a bunch of Ravenclaws. I suppose that wasn't as forbidden as being friends with Slytherins.

Those days were easy. Pranks and laughter kept me happy, schoolwork kept me from getting bored. I was happier than I had been since, well, a long time.


	4. On a Bench in December

A/N: Come on guys, please review.

It was December, and it was beautiful outside. Cold, but beautiful. There was snow outside, and the lake was frozen solid. Almost everyone was outside, except for four troublemakers. They were huddled under a tree. James was playing with a golf ball that had washed up out of the lake. He would throw it out as far as it would go. Just as it was about to hit the ground, he'd point his wand at it, mutter "Accio," and catch it as it came zooming back to him.

"Come on Moony, we know you like her," James was saying.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Remus protested.

"She'll have to find out sooner or later," Sirius said.

"Not if I can help it." Sirius snorted.

"Come on, Moony," he said, "We found out within a year. She has almost four years to figure it out. If she doesn't, she's an idiot." Remus didn't look at Sirius. He looked down at the book in his hands, and didn't reply.

"If you don't, we will," James finally announced.

"Not if I kill you first."

"Aw, you wouldn't do that to your best friends," Sirius cooed.

"Maybe not, but I could." But they all knew that it was an empty threat.

"Just tell her," James protested.

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"For me."

"No way."

"Come on, Moony. You should be the one to tell her. Do you honestly want her to hear it from us? At least you'll be able to explain everything. We won't necessarily do that."

"Fine."

"Thank you."

Meanwhile, up in the dormitory, Lily Evans was writing a letter. Her owl, Jane, was sitting patiently on her desk for her to finish. The letter was long. Lily's handwriting was impeccable. Her quill made a soft scratching noise with each letter that she wrote.

_Dear Rose_ - it said.

_How is it there at Morgan's? Is it snowing yet? I know that it's fairly cold there - I've been there, remember? I just had something to ask you. An old friend of your's from Morgan's, Sabrina Johnson, is here at Hogwarts. I don't know why I'm asking you about her. It's not even really my business. There's just something completely off about her. I can't place it. I know what happened to Artemis (you told me back in March), but that doesn't seem like reason enough for her to completely close herself off to the rest of the world. Well, maybe that's not completely fair. She talks to James, Sirius, and Remus. Yes, she'll talk to Lia, but she's never the one to start a conversation. I just wanted to know if there's anything off about her that you've noticed. _

_Love,  
Lily _

I was sitting on a snow-covered bench facing the frozen lake. Studying for tests wasn't my favorite pastime, but sitting on that bench, surrounded by snow, made it bearable. I'd always loved the snow. It reminded me of being back at Morgan's, without reminding me of all the horrible things that had happened to me there.

"Um, Sabrina?" called a voice.

I turned around at my favorite sound in the world.

"Yeah?"

"Can I sit here?" he asked.

"Sure," I answered, brushing the snow off the remaining seat on the bench. Remus looked nervous. I'd never seen him fidget before. I decided that I'd better start off the conversation, if he wasn't going to.

"I have a question," I told him.

"Yeah?" he asked, grateful that I'd started the discussion rather than him.

"This whole Sorting Hat thing. It seems kind of random. Haven't you ever wondered? What if? What if James had been a Ravenclaw? How would that have changed everything? What if? What if I'd been sorted into Hufflepuff, and never met you in the middle of the night, and had never found out that we were both complete insomniacs? What if?"

"I know," he replied, "I've thought about that, too."

"I mean," I continued, "It makes such a big difference. It's the little things, I guess, that make all of the difference. What if Snape had sat with you lot on the train, instead? What if the only spot open on the train for James was Lily's compartment? It could've changed everything."

"Yeah." I continued on to what I really wanted to ask him about. I mean, the conversation was interesting, but I really wanted to talk about Snape.

"I mean, what made Snape what he is? He's friends with Lily, isn't he? She's nothing like him!" Remus sighed. He knew as well as I did that this was what I really wanted to talk about. But I continued, ignoring his sigh. "Why are they even friends in the first place?"

"They were friends before they came to Hogwarts. Snape lives in Spinner's End. It's a wizarding neighborhood. It's rather low-class. Snape's mother was a muggle, and his father was a drunk. He was a wizard, but an alcoholic. Lily's family-"

"They live right near there, right?" I asked. I'd been to the Evans's house, and I distinctly remembered Rose pointing down the street, saying, _"And down there's Spinner's End. It's a nasty place. If you get lost, don't head that way."_

"Yeah," Remus said, "Snape saw Lily do magic in a playground right near their houses. It was right on the edge of her neighborhood. He told her about Hogwarts, and everything. He told her that she should get into Slytherin because it was the best house. They were really close friends. On the train here, for our first year, Sirius and James got in a fight with Snape. Lily thought they were nasty, because, well, they insulted him. In their defense, Snape wasn't exactly a polite kid, but from Lily's perspective, James and Sirius were in the wrong. She got sorted into Gryffindor, and he got sorted into Slytherin, but they were still, somehow, friends."

"But if Lily was such good friends with a Slytherin, and she wanted to be a Slytherin to be in the same house as he was, why isn't she in Slytherin? Doesn't the Sorting Hat take a person's opinion into account?"

"Usually, it does," Remus explained, "The way I see it, sometimes a person's personality is so strong that the little coincidences, and the what if's, they don't matter. Lily was such a Gryffindor, that no matter how much she wanted to be in Slytherin, the Sorting Hat wouldn't have put her there."

I guess that it made sense. Lily was, after all, a muggle-born. Muggle-borns don't get into Slytherin. Remus was fidgeting again.

"Sabrina?" he asked nervously.

"Yes?" I answered.

"I have something to tell you," he said. I didn't reply. If he wanted to tell me, he would. If he didn't, then he didn't. After a long pause, Remus drew a deep breath, and said, "I'm a werewolf."

I suppose most people would've been okay with finding out that their best friend was a werewolf. They would've accepted them, or whatever. I didn't have that reacted. A look crossed my face. Shock, I think. Then alarm. Then disgust. Then, my least favorite emotion of them all – numbness. It was like those last few months at Morgan's. It was my body, my mind, shielding itself from anything that might hurt me. All Remus saw was the disgust.

"I'll leave. Save you the bother," Remus spat. Then, as he left, the numbness left, replaced by anger. I might have felt bad for him, put that didn't matter, did it? What mattered was that he'd kept that from me, and, of course, that he was a werewolf. That alone was a problem.

I stormed up to the girl's dormitory. The four others were sitting around. Lily was reading a textbook. Georgia was polishing her broomstick. Lia and Alice were discussing the finer points of Summoning Charms.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I demanded. Everyone looked up at me. Only Lily spoke.

"Tell you what?" Lily asked angrily. She threw down her textbook.

"About Remus," I spat, "How could you not tell me?" I should've stopped arguing. It's never a good idea to argue with Lily Evans. I should have realized that. God, I'd spent three years with Rose Evans, the girl with the biggest temper in the world, and I still argued with Lily?

"Because I'm not naïve!" she screeched at me, "I don't trust everyone I meet! I'm not Rose! Rose is welcome to give out secrets to complete strangers, but even though I look like her, I'm not anything like Rose!"

"Why are you bringing Rose into this?" I demanded. Then, I saw a paper on her bed, next to the textbook. It was distinctly Rose's handwriting. _"You're right. It's none of your business." _"Have you been writing to Rose about me?"

"So what if I have?"

"It's rude, that's why," I yelled at her, "You're asking your sister for personal information about her old friend. She's right - it's none of your business!"

"Yes, because you've given me so many reasons to trust you," she said sarcastically, "It's not like you haven't said a word to me for the last four months."

"Lily, you have no idea what I've been through!"

"Well, that'd be kind of hard, since you've never told me!"

"Do you honestly expect me to say anything?" My rage was building up. How could she? Did she have any idea how lonely and sad my life had been?

"All I'm saying is to stop saying that you've had a more difficult life than anyone else, until you have the faintest idea what you're talking about! You have no idea what any of us have been through, right girls?"

"What are you talking about?" Georgia finally asked.

"Our families have been on the front lines against You-Know-Who since we were born. All our lives, we've been scared. Scared that we'll be next. Scared that next time we go home, there'll be nothing there, and our families have been murdered."

"Two of my three brothers have been sent to Saint Mungo's in the past six months," Alice offered.

"My father came home, ranting and mad because he'd been tortured, and watched people being killed by Lord Voldemort," Ophelia said.

"I never knew my older sister," Georgia said.

"And my sister despises me for what I have no control over," Lily finished.

"You think that that's more than me?" I shouted. How could they possibly think that? Nothing horrible had happened to them, yet! Besides, Petunia didn't hate Lily. She simply disliked her. Petunia hated Rose.

"Oh, shut up, Sabrina!" Lily snarled.

"No!" I yelled. "I'm an orphan, and I've got nowhere to go. My best friend was murdered. You guys are so scared that something's going to happen to your families, but I can't be scared, because it's already happened."

"You treat our fears and experiences as if we were little kids," Lily said, "Sure, it's horrible what happened to you! But, you can't say what we've been through is nothing, and you certainly can't blame us for not being sympathetic when you won't even tell us what's going on!"

"I don't want your sympathy," I spat.

With that, Lily cast me an evil glare, and stormed out of the room. Georgia and Alice followed her. Only Lia stayed.

"Why don't you leave too?" I snarled, "Join your friends."

"Maybe I should," Lia said quietly, but she stayed. This time, she didn't have a smile on her face.

"Leave me alone," I spat.

"Maybe I should." But she stayed.

"Why are you here?" I finally demanded.

"I'm here because Remus Lupin's my friend. I'm here because a friend of Remus's is my friend, too. He trusted you, Sabrina. I don't get why, but he did. And look what you did with that trust."

Lia shook her head sadly, got up, and left.


	5. Forgiveness

A/N: Oooh, please review. You know where the button is…

After that, they all stopped talking to me. Even Lia would hardly do more that greet me when I walked into the dormitory at night. Late at night (or early in the morning, depending on how you look at it), I'd stay awake in my bed for hours, rather than go downstairs to the Common Room.

The summer hadn't been the only time that Remus and I talked in the Common Room late at night. It had become a kind of a habit. We usually stayed in the Common Room, or we'd sneak out to the grounds. The air outside was cool and refreshing, and we preferred talking out there.

But I knew that if I went downstairs to the Common Room, I'd see Remus sitting there. He'd see me, I knew that he would. I didn't want to see those hurt eyes. I didn't want to see his sweet smile gone from his face. So, I would just lay awake all night.

"Remus, are you okay?" Lily was saying. The two were in an unused classroom one afternoon, about a week later.

"I'm fine," Remus said, forcefully.

"No you're not. She broke your heart. I know that you liked her. You can't just say that you're fine."

"It's okay," Remus continued, "I needed a dose of reality anyway."

"Remus!"

"What? You guys here are so great that I'm getting too comfortable. That's dangerous."

"Remus, stop talking like that!" A tear escaped from the corner of Lily's eye. She brushed it away, furiously.

"But it's true, Lily!" Remus was crying, too.

"It's not, Remus Lupin. You have a skewed image of the world, don't you? You think everyone's out to get you. See, you don't deny it! People are good, even if you've met your fair share of the bad ones." Her voice was shaking.

"She'll get over it, Remus. She will, you'll see. And when she does, she'll realize that she loves you, too."

With that, Lily left him there.

That night, I went to the library, searching for information on werewolves. I didn't know why I did it. I knew all I needed to know. They killed Artemis and had turned her sister mute.

When Artemis Abbott, my best friend in the entire world, was killed, her sister was there. I didn't know the details. But the story was that Aradia had climbed up a tree, and tried to help Artemis up. Artemis wasn't tall enough, and Aradia had to watch her die. After her funeral, Aradia never spoke again.

I flipped open the first book I could find.

_The werewolf is a creature who is always thirsty for human flesh. Some may say that werewolves are only a danger in their wolf forms, but this is untrue. Werewolves are not forced to transform. They choose to because this is a form in which they can be more aggressive, and cause more damage. _

Well, I knew that already. So I opened another book.

_The werewolf is a person who, during a full moon, is forced to transform into a blood-thirsty, mad animal. The transformation is painful, and while in their wolf form, the werewolf has no control whatsoever over his actions. _

Well, that was just plain confusing. _Are they good or bad?_ I thought, _That's all I really need to know. _With a sigh, I returned the books, went to my dormitory without dinner and fell asleep.

My nightmares returned.

Before I was friends with Remus, I had nightmares every night. I'd wake up screaming, crying. Once he was my friend, they stopped. It was as if having him as a friend took my mind off of the pain that lived just below the surface. That night, they started again, worse then ever.

My bubble didn't help when I was asleep.

I didn't have normal nightmares. You know the type - fiction. Nightmares aren't supposed to be true. I guess that for psychics, they end up coming true. For me, they'd already happened. It was like being attacked by dementors. In my sleep, I revisited the worst experiences of my life. Sometimes, though, I saw things that my imagination cooked up, but that I knew were true, anyway.

It started with my mother. It was breakfast. I could see my kitchen so clearly. I even saw the name on the cereal box. Everything was so clear. My mom told me that she was a witch. She said that I was, too. She told me about Morgan's, and that, in two weeks, I would go there, too. I was shouting. I was throwing things. I was calling her names. I was storming up to my room, slamming my door, turning around, only to see that I was standing in the middle of the woods.

I was standing next to Artemis, paralyzed by shock. We heard howls, dozens of them. I turned around, searching for the nearest tree with branches low enough to climb onto. I ran towards a tall oak tree. Artemis followed me. I was on the first branch, the second, the third. I stopped and looked down. Artemis was calling for help. She was stuck on the first branch, and couldn't reach the second. I jumped back down to the second branch, and tried to pull her up. She was too heavy. My grip wasn't good enough. One of the wolves pounced. It grabbed Artemis. She screamed. It was pulling her away. Artemis was crying. I let go, and climbed back to the third branch. With Artemis's next scream, I jerked awake, covered in cold sweat.

Awake, life was, for lack of a better word, boring.

I did something during those weeks that I didn't think any previous Hogwarts student had ever done before. I went in the Forbidden Forest. I was the first one to discover its secrets. The farther into the forest I went, the scarier it would become until I would reach the innermost point of the entire forest.

That place was where trees were big and old, and had thick branches close to the ground. Trees perfect for climbing. There was where the trees grew far apart and the sunshine could weave its way through the branches and send beautiful patterns of light onto the leave-covered ground.

I'd bring my homework there. I'd bring books there. Unless it looked like there was going to be rain, I sometimes left things near my favorite tree. Books. Essays. Unfinished letters to Kylee and Rose. Somehow, I never did seem to finish them.

That was the place where I could be alone, and I liked it there. So, I never told a soul about it.

"Lia?" I asked one morning. Ophelia was always the slowest one at getting ready in the morning, so there were always a couple minutes every morning when it was just the two of us in the dormitory.

"Yeah?" she replied, tying her shoes.

"What's Remus's deal?"

"What do you mean?"

"What's happened to him?" Ophelia sighed. She knew what I meant.

"Before he was born, his parents had a son. When their son was 12, he was bitten by a werewolf. His parents didn't know what to do, so they locked him in the basement. What were they supposed to do? Their kid was a monster. When he was 16, he ran away.

"Then, Remus was born. When he was four, his brother came back. He killed his parents and bit Remus."

"What was his brother's name?"

"His brother changed his last name, but his first name remains the same. He's Fenrir Greyback."

The bubble was back. I knew who Greyback was. Remus - werewolf or not - was related to a person like that.

Heaving a sigh, Lia left. I was forced to think about what she had said. _Locked him in the basement_…_their kid was a monster_…_he killed his parents and bit Remus _... _He's Fenrir Greyback_... Maybe, just maybe, it wasn't Remus's fault. Maybe it was me. Maybe I just never gave him a chance to explain. Maybe Remus had it bad, too.

Maybe again, maybe they were just making everything up so I trusted was way too complicated.

_Maybe, if you gave him a chance to explain…_ No, I couldn't. _You could have friends again, he's your friend. You know you like him…_ Oh, shut up.

But, the little voice in my head won in the end. It was a relief to stop being mad and try to get everyone else to not be mad at you.

I woke up, like I did every day, at three in the morning. For the four or five weeks that I'd had no friends, I'd sit in my bed and read or write. This time, I went downstairs to where I knew I'd find him. He was sitting in the same armchair that he'd sat in when I'd first met him. He was just sitting there, staring into the flames.

"Um, excuse me?" I asked, timidly.

Remus turned around, saw me, and turned back to the fireplace.

"Can I say something?"

"Sure," he muttered. I took that as an invitation and sat on the couch behind him.

"Remus, I'm sorry," I whispered, "I should've reacted like that. It's just that I've had bad experiences with werewolves before, and it, well, it surprised me. I'm really sorry. Can't we be friends again?"

Remus looked at my face. I'd been staring at the fireplace during my whole speech, so I barely noticed.

"Sabrina, are you sure?" he asked quietly, "I saw that look on your face when I told you."

"Of course I'm sure," I replied, "You're the same Remus who I met at the beginning of the summer this year. You're still Remus, so you're still my friend."

"Thanks," he whispered.

"Thanks for forgiving me," I whispered back. I sat there, with him, until the house-elves came to start up the fire again.

"It's like a phoenix," Remus said quietly, once the house-elf had left. "I like it, because it's like a phoenix. They whither away, but it's only when they die that they can be reborn. That's why I like it when the house-elves remake the fire in the mornings."


	6. Duels and Family Feuds

"You're forgiving her?" Lily demanded. Lily and Remus were in an unused classroom again. Remus told me, during one of our late nights together, that if James knew about Remus and Lily's close friendship, he'd use it to try to get close to Lily as well. They thought it was better if their friendship remained private.

"Lily, it's none of your business," Remus reminded her calmly.

"I don't care! You're making a huge mistake."

"No, I'm not. You are."

"Don't you dare bring Severus into this. We aren't even discussing him. I get enough harassment from Georgia, thank you very much."

"Right. Because that's not my business. It's also not your business to tell me what to do." Lily was in one of her tempers again. I was used to being woken up by fighting, but Lily seemed to attract it. And usually, she fought with Georgia. I never thought she'd fight with Remus. Remus was too quiet. They were good friends, too. It didn't seem right for them to be fighting.

"Why does Georgia hate Snape so much?" I asked Remus one early morning.

"He's a Slytherin," Remus replied, shrugging. "For many of us, that's enough to tell us that they shouldn't be friends."

"I've been wondering," I continued, "What's so bad about Slytherins? Isn't it just another house? You guys don't act this way about Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw? What makes Slytherin such a big deal?" I was vividly reminded of one of the first conversations I'd had with Artemis. It was so clear, just like when I saw her in my nightmares. Her blonde hair, cutting in right underneath her jaw, her way of smiling when I said something funny.

_"There are other magical schools?" I asked her. She nodded, her blonde hair bouncing._

_"Of course," she replied, "Where do you think all of the boys go? There's a really famous and popular school called Hogwarts. Rose's sister goes there. It's really different than this place is. For one thing, the school is split into houses. As soon as the students arrive, they're divided. Really, it's a horrible practice. It tells children who they can and can't be friends with. We don't need that. Here, you can be friends with whomever you want. I'd much rather be here than at Hogwarts."_

"I keep forgetting," Remus sighed, shaking his head, "You don't understand the wizarding politics out here. It's different in America, I guess. You have your own problems. You see, we're at war. This terrible guy named Voldemort is on the rise. All of his followers were, at some point in history, in Slytherin. Many of the students that we see now are children of Voldemort's followers. They think like he does. Their loyalties are to him, not to Dumbledore and the Ministry.

"Georgia's family is completely involved in the resistance. More so than even Lia and Alice. Her family is constantly in danger. Seeing Lily being friends with Snape, well, it's as if she's fraternizing with the enemy. That's what Georgia sees, anyway. Lia and Alice agree with her, but they also think that it's Lily's decision. They think that eventually, she'll see what he really is. But they know that it isn't their job to change her mind."

Then, we heard movement upstairs, signaling the end of our early-morning conversation. A few seconds later, Sirius came down the steps. He was just wearing boxers and a t-shirt. I raised my eyebrows at him.

"'Morning," he said, yawning. He didn't notice my eyebrows.

"Up early, aren't you," Remus asked.

"I could say the same of you, too."

"Insomniac," we said in unison.

"See?" I told him, "_We_ have an excuse."

That day, we had a rather interesting DADA class. It was on werewolves.

As usual, our professor, Professor Ganot, started the class by having us read a passage, and then discuss it as a class. It was never a discussion, though. It was always us sharing our points of view, and Professor Ganot immediately rejected every idea that didn't agree with her opinions. Before I'd finished reading, Professor Ganot decided that we'd start our class discussion. James's and Sirius's faces were hard and stared with disgust at Professor Ganot, who met their gaze with flashing eyes.

"Does anyone have anything to say about the passage that they just read? Yes, Mr. Potter," she said, pointing to James.

"I'd just like to point out that this is a close-minded, idiotic passage. We truly don't know what a werewolf is thinking. Sure, some are just plain bad, Fenrir Greyback, for instance, but that doesn't mean that they're all bad. Some wizards are bad, but not all are."

"Touching, Mr. Potter," Professor Ganot said, "Yet, we must remember that the mind of a werewolf is unlike that of a human. Simply because not all humans are bad doesn't mean that the same applies to werewolves. Yes, Mr. Black?" I could see Remus's head down, refusing to make eye contact with anyone. He just stared at the picture of the werewolf in the textbook. His face was pale.

"First of all, my name's Sirius, not Mr. Black. I'd rather not belong to that family. Secondly, if werewolves choose when to transform, and they want to, why are there only reports of werewolf attacks under a full moon?"

"That's an interesting question, Mr. Black-" Professor Ganot began.

"SIRIUS!"

"Excuse me, but I'm the teacher, and therefore I may call you whatever name I would like."

"So teachers are allowed to insult their students?"

"Calling you by your last name is not an insult."

"It is for someone whose last name is something to be ashamed of!" The Slytherins in the room hissed at him.

"You filthy blood-traitor!" Bellatrix Black screamed at him. Bellatrix was a Slytherin in our year. She always hung out with older Slytherins, though, such as Rudolphus Lestrange and Lucius Malfoy. She was also known to be friendly to Severus Snape, though she was never his friend. She would never be friends with someone who talked to muggle-borns.

"Shut up, Trixy!"

"Don't call me that! Do you want me to hex you?"

"You don't have the guts! Come on, Trixy, hex me!"

"Alright, I will!"

"Okay then," dared Sirius, drawing his own wand.

"Alarte Acsendare!" Bellatrix screamed.

"Aguamenti!" Sirius shouted at the same time.

In seconds, Sirius was blasted backwards into the stone wall, and Bellatrix was slammed into the opposite one, drenched with cold water.

"Enough! That's enough!" yelled Professor Ganot. "This is not the time or place for a family feud! Ms. Black, sit at your seat. Mr. Black, sit down!"

"IT'S SIRIUS!"

"We're not on a first-name basis, Mr. Black."

"You sound like Evans and James," he muttered.

"Really?"

"Yup," Sirius continued. I silently begged him not to say what he was about to say. "You're just as immature as James, and that's saying a lot." With that, he raced out of the room.

"Hey," James protested loudly, "I'm not immature."

"Detention, Mr. Black! Seven o'clock, tonight!" Professor Ganot yelled, as he left the classroom.

"It's a date!" Sirius yelled back. With that, the bell rang, and the class filed out.

"Sirius," Remus growled softly. Sirius was waiting right outside of the classroom.

"What?" Sirius responded, innocently.

"You know I hate it when people do that."

"Do what?"

"You shouldn't stand up for me like that."

"Are you kidding me?" I half-laughed, "Friends stand up for each other. I'm mad at myself for not standing up for you, too." Remus was silent. "Though, of course, I'm not sure how good I'd be at yelling at a teacher. Sirius seems to be an expert."

"How good is Lily at holding grudges?" I asked a couple minutes later.

"Lily? Incredibly good," James answered.

"Dammit."

"Why?"

"She still hates me because I freaked out when Remus told me."

"She'll get over it," Remus assured me.

"Really? She seemed really mad. And she's still not talking to me."

"Yeah," Sirius added, "She'll be too busy hating James."

"Hey, that's uncalled for," James interrupted.

"You know, she thinks you're just teasing her," I told him. I'd heard Lily discussing James's obsession with her a million times.

"She does?"

"Yeah. If you stopped asking her five times a day, and went down to maybe once a week, she wouldn't."

"I'll think about it," James agreed.

"Yeah, right," Remus muttered to me. I just grinned.


	7. Girl Talk

"So, once Sirius blows up his cauldron, you go and get the stuff from the closet, got it?" James said. We were sitting in the Common Room that morning, just James and me, while we waiting for everyone else to get ready for breakfast.

"Sure, but how do I know what stuff to get?" I asked.

"I made you a list." He handed me a piece of paper, with a couple words written on it.

"What's it for?" I knew to be suspicious of James's ideas.

"You'll see. The fewer people who know, the better."

That afternoon, at Potions class, everything went as planned. James had just asked Sirius for a diversion. Sirius didn't know that I would be nicking stuff from the potions closet. Likewise, I didn't know how Sirius was planning on executing his diversion. Sirius went over to the cupboard, got some extra ingredients, and kept adding them until he got the desired result. An explosion.

As soon as it began to simmer, and as soon as people started watching it, I ran to Slughorn's secret stores. There was a big BOOM sound. I knew that my time was limited. I took the list out of my pocket and quickly took the ingredients and put them into my bag. Within thirty seconds, I was out.

"What did you do wrong, Sirius?" Slughorn was saying. I could tell that he was very confused.

"I don't know, sir," he said innocently. I silently slipped back in my seat.

"Well, clean up this mess, and then you may go. Class is over for the rest of you." James, Remus, Peter and I bent down to help him.

"Did you get them?" James whispered to me.

"Yup."

"All of them?"

"All of them." I handed him my bag. "They're all in there."

That was one of the few pranks that we pulled that only James knew about. With most of them, secrecy wasn't key. It's not a secret when you dye a teacher's hair pink. Or when you put Gryffindor paraphernalia in the Slytherin common room. It is when you turn people into animals and you don't want your friends to get in trouble.

That Wednesday, James slipped something into our drinks. In fact, he did it to everyone's drinks. Even the teacher's. I think that he even needed to get the house-elves in on the prank in order to execute it properly. We all became animals.

I was a unicorn, Remus was a wolf, Sirius was a dog, James was a stag, Peter was a rat, Lily was an eagle, Georgia was a dog, Ophelia was a beaver and Alice was a cat.

Snape was a snake. Go figure.

All day, the teachers tried to teach a group of animals. A cat (McGonagall) tried to teach a dog (Sirius), along with dozens of other animals. Slughorn was a walrus. It was impossible for him to do anything as a teacher because he couldn't say anything and he didn't have opposable thumbs. It was funny at the time, and, unlike many pranks, it's funny when I look back on it. When we woke up the next morning, we were back to normal. I knew it was James, though nobody else did.

"So, did you like it?" James asked at breakfast.

"Like it? I loved it," Sirius answered. "A whole day as a dog. Awesome. Did you see McGonagall's face when I barked at her?" I smiled. Truth was, I had had fun being a unicorn for a day. And the look on McGonagall's _had_ been priceless.

"Speak for yourself," Remus muttered, "Though it was weird being a werewolf with a mind."

"Wait a second," I said. They waited. "Ugh. I had an idea, but I forgot it. Maybe it'll come back to me."

Christmas break was approaching. I didn't want to stay at Hogwarts any longer. I'd been there for six months. At least. Sure, it was nice being at Hogwarts. I had friends. I was never really bored. But still, I wanted to get out for a week or two. The only problem was, I didn't have anywhere to go. I would have to ask someone.

At first, I considered Remus. But then I remembered that the full moon fell around that time, and I didn't want to be intruding. I briefly considered James, but I thought that Lily would kill me if I spent break at his house. I decided to ask Sirius.

"Hey Sirius," I asked one day at breakfast. We were sitting next to each other. Remus was in the library. He nodded. He was busy stuffing his face. "Can I come over to your place for Christmas?" He almost choked. With a great deal of effort, he swallowed.

"Are you crazy?" he asked incredulously, "You don't want to come to my house. _I_ don't even want to come to my house. Are you serious?"

"Come on, your family can't be that bad."

"Oh yeah, it can. Unless every single member of your family is a wizard and have nothing to do with muggles, they're evil. You're a Gryffindor. They'll hate you. Besides, you said that you're half-blood, right? And you were raised in the muggle world. My family will hate you."

"That's nice." I raised my eyebrows. I really didn't want to have to ask Lily or Lia if I could stay at their houses.

"It's true." I'd never seen Sirius so, well, serious. "You should ask James. That's where _I'm _going for the holidays. You could join us." I took Sirius's advice, and during Charms, I sat next to James. We were practicing making eggs do cartwheels on our desks. I figured it out fairly quickly, and turned to James.

"James?"

"Yup." He was still struggling at making his egg flip over.

"Can I come over to your place for Christmas?"

"Sure. Why not?" He shrugged, still muttering at the egg, pointing his wand at it. A shower of sparks burst from the tip of his wand, and the egg caught on fire.

_"Aguamenti,"_ I called, pointing my finger at the egg. James stared at me. My wand was sitting on my desk. The egg was soaked with water. James didn't pay attention. He'd forgotten all about trying to make the egg do cartwheels."

"How did you do that?" he asked quietly. I looked around. Nobody had noticed my spell.

"It's something that they taught back at Morgan's. Wandless magic. They don't teach it here," I whispered back. "Anyway," I continued, louder, "Can I stay at your place for Christmas?"

"Yeah. Pete, Sirius and Moony are coming, too. I mean, Moony's coming eventually. He's spending most of the break with us, and then he's joining his aunt. I don't think it'll be a big deal to have one extra person."

"Cool. Your parents are okay with it?"

"Yeah. I'll send them an owl just to be sure, but it should be fine."

"Thanks."

For the first time since June, I tried to fit all of my stuff in a suitcase. It took a long time (fifteen minutes) to just zipper it closed. I was really looking forward to leaving Hogwarts. I mean, I loved Hogwarts, but I'd gotten a little sick of it.

Everyone seemed to have different plans for the holidays. Lia was staying with Lily. I gave her a letter to take to Rose. It basically said that I was fine, that I'd met Lily, and that I wasn't planning on coming back to Morgan's. I didn't mention Remus or Artemis. Georgia was going home. Alice was staying with a fifth year Ravenclaw, Frank Longbottom. They were old family friends, and they'd grown closer during the past few months.

Pretty soon, it was just Lia and me in the Common Room. She was slow at getting ready in the morning. I was slow because of the packing.

"Lia?" I asked.

"Yeah?" she replied. Lia was stuffing a couple of spellbooks into her bag. I didn't see the point - we weren't allowed to use magic outside of school in England. In America, the rule was that if you used magic, you had to make sure that no muggles were around.

"Why are you staying with Lily? You have a family. Why aren't you staying with them?" Lia gave me a sad smile. She understood my question. I was an orphan. I didn't understand anyone who had a family, and didn't see them whenever possible. Of course, I hadn't told her how I'd taken my mother for granted until she died.

"I told you," she explained, "My dad's mentally insane. It''s hard to be in the same house as him. Mom claims that he's getting better, but he isn't. I mean, he's not getting worse, but he's no better. She has to take care of him all of the time. I feel bad, leaving her alone with him, but I can't stand to be around him. He used to be such a genius. Now, he's lost it. I stay with them for a few weeks during the summer, but that's about as much as I can take."

The day came, and most people were beginning to board the train. I'd never been on the train before, but everyone else had. I just stuck with my friends.

"James, can your parents adopt me?" Sirius asked completely seriously. James gave a little smile. It was strange, hearing Sirius say something that sounded like it should be a joke, when it really wasn't. I knew that he meant it.

"I don't know."

"Please?" Sirius did his whole puppy-dog eye thing.

"I'll ask them."

I'd never realized before what a terrible home life Sirius had. It was a miracle that he turned out okay, and not like the rest of his family. His parents were old-fashioned, cruel and obsessed with bloodlines. They considered Sirius to be a shame. So, they favored his little brother, Regulus. Pity. Regulus was a jerk. But that was all I knew. I'd never met anyone like that. I didn't understand why that bothered Sirius so much.

We arrived at King's Cross Station a few hours later. After taking my stuff out of the train, I followed James and Sirius to two people who were obviously James's parents. Remus waved to me, as he headed over to an older woman standing on the platform.

James's mom had reddish-brown hair and dark brown eyes. She was rather petite, but she had a warm smile and was busy hugging each of the boys. His dad looked just like him. The black hair, the hazel eyes, the glasses, the size. They were identical, except for the fact that his dad looked older.

"And who is this?" Mrs. Potter asked James. She was looking at me. I supposed that it was strange to Mrs. Potter that I was there. If James talked about Lily to his parents half as much as he talked about her to us, I was sure that the Potters knew who she was, and that James was madly in love with her. It must have confused her that James was bringing home a girl who wasn't Lily.

"I'm Sabrina Johnson," I answered.

"It's nice to meet you, too, honey," she responded, and squeezed me into a hug as well. Mr. and Mrs. Potter led the way out of the station.

"Sorry about my parents," James whispered in my ear, "My mom's a little excitable." I smiled faintly. Truth be told, I liked his parents. They were like the parents I'd never had. First of all, there were two of them. James didn't have to work around the schedule of a working single mom. No, if someone's schedule didn't mesh with his, someone else could drive him to his baseball games, or wherever wizarding children did on weekends. But, it was more than that. His parents (especially his mom) were open. They took strangers into their house without a single thought. They acted how they felt. If they were excited to see you, they hugged you and let you know that they were excited. If they were sad, I was sure that they'd show it. My mom had never been like that. I didn't know what she would say or think if I brought a friend home for Christmas. If I'd asked her, I knew that she'd refuse. She was quiet - an introvert. Like me, I guess. But she never had a reason. I did.

Once we left the station, we piled into the car. The car was a minivan. James's parents sat in the front, his father driving, and his mother knitting. He and Sirius sat in the middle, right behind them. Remus sat in the middle of the backseat, and I sat on one side of him, with Pete on the other. The ride took the better part of an hour. James told his parents about our pranks, they laughed, and the rest of us grinned, remembering the whole story. James left out some tidbits, like getting caught sometimes or people's accusations. Those parts were usually the funniest, but he left them out. I guess that he just thought that his parents wouldn't be so supportive of his pranking habits if he were getting in trouble for them.

When we finally got to James's house, Mrs. Potter directed us to our rooms. I was in a room across from Sirius's, and next to Remmy's. Next to Sirius was James, and next to James was Pete. The rooms were nice. Remus had told me that the Potters were almost as rich as the Blacks. But I didn't know much about the Blacks. Sirius didn't like talking about them much. And I rarely asked.

Mrs. Potter called us down for dinner. I was out of my room in less than fifteen seconds, but when I got downstairs, there were all three boys, Mr. and Mrs. Potter. Sirius was already gulping down food. I guess that that was life with teenage boys. You'd better eat fast, or you won't eat at all.

"So, why are you staying with us?" Mrs. Potter asked politely. She was just trying to make conversation, I guess. She was probably more concentrated on ignoring Sirius. I hesitated.

"Mom asks everyone that," James muttered, groaning.

"Is your family like Sirius's?" she asked. "He spends almost all of his breaks here. It's like he lives here, or something. He comes every Christmas, and for at least a month during the summer. I hope you've got a better home life than he does."

"Actually," I said softly, "My parents are dead. I don't have a home life at all."

"Oh." Mrs. Potter was silent. So much for conversation. I pretty much had killed it. That was why I never talked about my mom and about Artemis. Those topics were complete conversation killers. They were depressing. People never knew how to respond to that. I suppose that if I cried whenever I explained my life to people, it would make it easier. After all, people know how to comfort someone who's upset. They never know how to act when someone explains that their life has been a nightmare as calmly as if they were telling what the weather was the day before.

That evening, we played a game that Rose used to make everyone play back at Morgan's. Each person would go around, and someone would ask them a question, and they had to answer honestly. They had one pass. It was supposed to get very deep and stuff, but it really depended on who you played with. Of course, I wouldn't have suggested the game if the boys hadn't asked me to. It was one of those games that you would only play at an all-girls school. But, Sirius asked what sort of games we played at Morgan's. So I told him that one. He asked if we could play it. Remus looked nervous, but he agreed.

"Peter," James began, "Who do you like?" Peter turned scarlet.

"What? It can't be that bad," Sirius pressed, "Unless you like Lily or Sabrina. Do you?"

Pete shook his head vigorously.

"Good," James continued, "So, who do you like?"

Pete muttered something incoherent.

"Speak up, Pete."

"Ophelia." He blushed red again.

"That's cool," James reassured him, "Lia's nice."

"Don't tell her." I could tell he was directing the request at me.

"Don't worry," I replied, "I won't."

I got the next question. The main reason I loved that game was because you could ask people questions that you really wanted to know, and it wouldn't be nearly as awkward. I got to ask Sirius what his family was like. I mean, he'd told me stuff about them before. I knew that his parents favored Regulus, his younger brother. I knew that his parents were obsessed with bloodlines. But, I felt as if I didn't really understand his life.

"My family?" he asked, "You want to know about my family?"

"Yeah," I answered, "You never talk about them."

"I wish I didn't have a family."

"You don't mean that."

"I do. I'm sorry if me saying that upsets you, but it's true. They're Death Eaters. They're convinced that the only reason I'm a Gryffindor is in order to be their spy. They've got their own spies. My cousins? There are millions of them. Name a Slytherin."

"Lucious."

"He's my cousin's boyfriend."

"Bellatrix."

"Cousin. Don't you see? I spend as much time as possible away from home. I hate it there. It's a living hell. That's what my family's like, Sabs." I felt bad, asking him about it. I knew that it wasn't my business at all. But, then again, that was the point of the game. You get into other people's businesses. You ask them about what their lives are really like.

"My turn!" James called.

"Uh, no it's not," Sirius reminded him. James's shoulders slumped, and he gave Sirius his turn. Sirius turned to me. I knew that he was preparing revenge for the question that I'd asked him.

"Sabs," he began, "Why are you so depressed at the time?"


	8. Secrets

"Why are you so depressed all the time?" I groaned inwardly.

"I'm not depressed," I answered. But, I knew that he was right. Saying that I wasn't was just a reflex. I looked around the circle. Sirius, who'd asked me the question, was looking at me expectantly. James was also. He hadn't asked the question, but I knew that if he had one question to ask me, it would be the same question as Sirius. Peter was gazing at me curiously. I never really liked Pete. I don't know why. I never trusted him. Remus was looking at his hands, not making eye contact.

"Come on, Sabrina. Lily and Lia say that you wake up in the middle of the night, screaming and yelling. They say that you either sit in bed, rocking back and forth until the morning, or you get out of bed and go downstairs. They say that you never talk to them. You only really smile around Remus. To me, that sounds like depression."

"Well," I answered slowly, "I was depressed. I'm not anymore. It's just ... a lot of bad things happened to me before I came to Hogwarts, all right?" I _really_ didn't want to get into the whole story with all four of them, but I knew that I would have to.

"What happened?" I avoided looked at Remmy. I'd already told him this. At least, I'd told him the parts that I was willing to share.

"Right before Easter break at my old school, my mom died, and I became an orphan. I figured that I'd just live with my best friend, but she never came back after break. She'd died on a camping trip with her sister." I guess that wasn't too hard. I was hoping that they'd just leave it at that.

"Did her sister die, too?"

"No."

"How did she die?" James asked. I avoided Remmy's gaze. I hadn't talked about this to him. I'd just told him that she'd been murdered.

"Werewolves." I avoided looking at anyone. I followed Remus's lead, and looked at my hands. There was silence in the room. _You shouldn't have told them that,_ a voice in my head told me, _Now they'll think that no matter what you said to Remus, you still hate him. They won't believe that you could ever be friends with the same creature that killed your best friend._

"What?" Remus asked quietly.

"Werewolves," I repeated. I don't know why I felt that I needed to repeat it. It wasn't as if he hadn't heard me.

"Well, that would explain your shock at Moony," Sirius chuckled. I gave a little half-smile. I was glad that he took it as an explanation for my past mistakes, rather than a piece of evidence that I would continue to make those mistakes.

"Don't werewolves just bite you?" Pete asked. Remus answered this time. His voice was quiet, reserved. His reaction, like Sirius's, was one of understanding.

"Not all the time. When it's a pack, it's usually a kill. Was it a pack?"

I nodded. I couldn't speak.

"How come her sister didn't die?" Sirius asked gently. I'd never heard Sirius's voice be gentle before. I had to swallow before I answered.

"Aradia climbed a tree. She reached down and tried to help Artemis up. She couldn't reach, and they got her. It destroyed Aradia. She hasn't spoken since Artemis's funeral." I was suddenly aware of the tears slowly rolling down my cheeks. Remus was too. He moved a little closer to me and put an arm around my shoulders. I rested my head against his shoulder and let the tears fall. It had been such a long time since I'd let myself cry.

Sirius and James eventually joined in the hug. Pete just sat there, looking awkward. When I was done crying, I sat up, gave another half-smile, and spoke. My voice only trembled a little.

"Your turn, James." He hesitated before he asked his question.

"Remus, why do you never take your shirt off?" Sirius and I burst into laughter, Pete grinned, but Remus just sat there awkwardly. Come to think of it, James had a point. I'd seen James and Sirius shirtless countless times, when they'd come down to the Common Room in the middle of the night, when it was a hot and sunny day, and they were playing Quidditch. But, Remus, who was always in the Common Room in the middle of the night, who played Quidditch just as much as the rest of them (though he wasn't on the team), was always fully clothed.

"Well?" James asked.

"When I was bitten…" he trailed off. My smile faded. I knew what he'd say. I'd seen Artemis's body being brought into the school for the funeral. I knew what a werewolf attack looked like.

"Well?"

"When I was bitten, it wasn't a neat job, to say the least. He was mad at me. He wanted it to be painful, I guess. People say that he's the same as a person as he is as a wolf. Maybe that means that he has control over his wolf form. I don't know, but it doesn't matter. Before he bit me, he scratched me. I was lucky. I laid down on my stomach and tucked in my head. He only got my back."

With that, Remus pulled off his shirt and turned around. His back was covered in criss-crossing scratches. The lines were so deep and clear that they looked recent, even though he'd gotten them ten years ago.

"Why didn't you show us that before? I mean, after we figured out you were a werewolf," Sirius asked.

"I guess I was embarrassed. I was kind of afraid that it would freak you guys out too much. You know, it's one thing to learn that your friend is a werewolf. It's a completely different thing to see physical evidence of it." Remus tugged back on his shirt.

"Do they hurt?" I asked.

"No. Only sometimes. When Madam Pomfrey first inspected me after a full moon, she thought they were recent. It freaked her out. Usually, werewolves are fast healers. I've gotten scratches worse than this and they've disappeared without a scar. I got these before I was a werewolf. They've stayed." I smiled, imagining Madam Pomfrey losing her cool.

"Who's next. You are, right Pete?" James asked.

"Can I pass?"

"Sure," I answered.

"Moony?"

"Um, Sirius," Remus began, "You do you like?" I smiled. It wasn't very different to play the game with the boys than it was to play it with Rose, Kylee, and Artemis back at Morgan's. The questions were very similar.

"Oh come on, you know this," Sirius groaned.

"It may be obvious, but you've never told us. I'd like you to actually admit it, so that we can move on past it."

"Georgia, okay?"

"Georgia?" I asked, incredulous. Georgia seemed like the last person that Sirius would get a crush on. He was always flirting with different girls. He never flirted with Georgia. Hm, maybe that was the sign that he liked her...

"Yeah, why?"

"She just always says that you would never like her. She's convinced of it." I remembered all of the discussions that Lily and Georgia had about Sirius. When they weren't arguing about Snape, they were quite good friends. Lily bashed James, insulting him constantly. Georgia talked about Sirius.

"Does she like me?" Sirius seemed surprised. I wasn't shocked at his surprise, though. If I hadn't heard Lily and Georgia's conversations, I wouldn't have realized it, either.

"A little, yeah. Okay, a lot. Since second year, she said." Sirius smiled.

"Your turn, James," he said.

"Sabrina," he said. I groaned. "No need to worry. This won't be so personal. I just remembered something that you said at dinner September 1st. You said that Lily had a twin sister named Rose. I was wondering what you knew about her." I raised my eyebrows. "Don't give me that look," he warned, "It's just that sisters tend to be close. If anything works out between Lily and me, I'd like to be able to get along with her sister." I deemed this an acceptable reason, and explained.

"Rose Evans is incredible. She's nothing like Lily. Rose is usually quiet, and reserved. Lily, as you know, isn't. Rose is a strong witch. I haven't met anyone like her. She said that the reason she went to Morgan's instead of Hogwarts is because Hogwarts doesn't take in students with hard-to-control magic. Rose has a terrible time with it. Usually, she's fine, and even-tempered. But when she loses her temper -" I shuddered, "It's horrible. She's really sweet, though."

We ended the game with that.

About a week later, we went back to King's Cross Station so we could go back to school. Mrs. Potter was half-crying when we left, and she pulled every one of us into a tight, python-strength hug. Remus met up with us on the platform. He looked tired, but he smiled when he saw us.

When we got back to school, I had a pleasant surprise waiting for me. It was the weekend (the train brought us back on a Friday afternoon so we could get caught up with any homework that we hadn't done over break), so we were able to go to Hogsmeade. When we got there, two people were waiting for me. Kylee and Rose.

"Sabrina!" Rose squealed, launching herself at me. I gave her a nervous laugh.

"What are you guys doing here? Did you get kicked out of Morgan's or something?"

"No, Morgan's vacation does later than yours does. We thought we'd stop by at say hi. You, Sabrina, I'm very mad at you. You wrote me one letter - one! Over the course of seven months! - and in it, you tell me nothing. As soon as I leave, you are sending me another letter, one that actually explains what's going on in your life. Got it?" It would've been scarier if she hadn't had a smile on her face. I grinned and nodded.

"Sabs, who are these people?" Remus asked, cautiously.

"Moony, these are some of my best friends. Kylee Simora and Rose Evans."

"I thought I was your best friend," said James in a whiney voice, giving me puppy-dog eyes.

"They're from my old school. I told you about Rose, remember?"

"Oh. Has anyone told you that you look like Lily?" James asked Rose. Rose grinned.

"We're twins. But, Sabrina told you that, didn't she?"

"Yes, but it's a bit more surprising in person."

"Oh."

But that wasn't the end of the surprises. Lily talked to me that afternoon. Granted, she asked me how my break had been, but still. It was something. Sirius hung out with Georgia a little, now that he wasn't so worried about her rejecting him. That evening, I sat down and wrote a letter to Rose.

_Rose - _

_Here's my letter. I hope that you enjoy it. Life at Hogwarts is... different. The whole houses thing makes a big difference in the social dynamic of the school, but I'm sure that Lily's talked to you about that already. I'm becoming close friends with a boy at school. You met him today - Remus, the one who goes by 'Moony.' I don't know if Lily's told you this, because he likes to keep it private. Personally, I don't see why telling you would be a big deal. It's not like you go to Hogwarts. Just, if you read beyond this point, I'll take it as a promise that you won't tell anyone. Got it?_

_He's a werewolf. I know, it was a shock to me, too. After all, I have every right to hate werewolves. But Rose, I think I'm falling in love with him. It's like one of your romance novels, right?_

_-Sabrina_


	9. Potions with Snape, Summer with Evans

A/N: As always, please review. The last few reviews made me very happy, so please keep it up!

The Monday morning after Christmas Break was terrible for most people. I mean, they hadn't had to wake up early in two weeks. Remus and I, though, were up before dawn, as usual. A lot of Gryffindors found it odd that we had those early-morning talks. We didn't.

"So, what pranks did you pull during your first three years?" I asked him that morning. He shrugged.

"A better question would be: What didn't we do? Our best one, _I_ think, was when we casted a spell to make the castle seem upside-down. James and Sirius think that that was boring. I don't know. I liked it. Their favorite was probably when we got some fireworks from a muggle shop to go off one evening. I think that Sirius had detention with McGonagall, and we wanted to distract her so that Sirius could get away. It didn't work, but after the first one went off, a huge crowd came out to watch us set off some more."

"Good morning," Sirius yawned at breakfast. He sat next to Georgia. He said something that I couldn't hear, and she laughed. Remus and I exchanged looks. We were glad that Sirius and Georgia were together, even if it wasn't official.

"We have Potions first, right?" I asked Lily, who was sitting across from me. Now that she wasn't ignoring me all of the time, I took advantage of that. I wanted to let her know that I wanted to be friends with her.

"Yeah," she replied, "Slughorn let it slip that we're working in partners today."

"So?" Lia said, "We work in partners at least once a week. That's not a big deal." Lily grinned.

"You're right," she explained, "But it's more than that. See, he's _assigning_ us partners. Sirius and James won't be able to pull anything. I'm sure that he'll separate the two of them." James turned at the sound of his name, but Lily didn't look at him.

"I don't see why you're so excited," Lia said, shrugging, "For all you know, you could end up with James. And I'm not just referring to as a partner for Potions class." Lily stuck out her tongue at Lia. Remus snorted.

"Really mature, Lily," he said, smiling, "If Dumbledore sees that, he'll _definitely_ make you a prefect." Lily grinned.

Remus and I walked down to Potions together. It seemed like we did everything together. We were as inseparable as James and Sirius. Maybe more, because of all of the nighttime hours we spent together. When we entered the classroom, we saw two rows of names on the blackboard. Sirius and Alice were partners, and James and Georgia were partners. I figured that he probably was trying to keep members of the same house together. Remus was partnered with Lily. But I was partnered with Snape.

I looked around the classroom to see if he was there. He was on the other side of the classroom. He seemed completely ambivalent to the fact that we were partners. It made sense. Besides being friends with James and Sirius, I hadn't done anything that would make him mad at me. Remus wished me 'good luck' as I walked over to sit next to Snape.

"Hello," I said quietly when I'd reached the seat next to him, "I guess that we're partners for this class. I don't think that we've been properly introduced. I'm Sabrina Johnson." I held out my hand. He didn't say anything. At first, I thought that he was going to ignore me for the whole lesson. Then, he shook my hand.

"Severus Snape," he said in a monotone.

At that, Professor Slughorn took his place at the front of the classroom. He clapped his hands together once to get our attention. The classroom, which had been full of muttering about the partner assignments, quieted down immediately.

"As you may have noticed," Slughorn called, "I have a list of partners written on the board. They will be your partners from now until Easter." I heard multiple people groan. "I attempted to partner people who were friends. Of course, not best friends, or it would be harder for them to get anything done. I tried to keep everything within the same house. Of course, there are some exceptions, but I tried.

"Now, these partners won't just be for class. Homework will be done in pairs. Practical exams will be done together. I have my reasons. If you are curious, you may ask me after class. Now, today's class is on Shrinking Solutions. Please open your books to page 319, and begin. All of the ingredients necessary are in the student cabinet. You may begin."

"I apologize in advance for my abysmal potion-making skills," I told Severus. He did something completely non-characteristic. He shrugged.

"That's why Slughorn put us together. It's the same with Lily and Lupin. He asked me if I was okay with it, and I said that I was, so here we are." It surprised me that Severus had said 'okay' to Slughorn's proposal.

"Should I get the ingredients from the cupboard?" I asked him.

"We don't need all of them straight away. I'll fill the cauldron halfway with water," he said, glancing at his textbook, "While you can get the daisy roots, shrivelfig, and caterpillars." I nodded, and set off for the student cupboard.

"How's Snivellus treating you?" James muttered to me when we met at the cupboard.

"He's fine, actually," I told him, "I've never talked to him before. He seems nice." James snorted, but he didn't argue. I grabbed the ingredients, and headed back to where Severus was attempting to bring the water to a boil. He managed it just as I sat down.

"How about you cut up the daisy roots?" he asked me. At the time, he wasn't doing anything. It didn't bother me. It was probably what Slughorn had asked him to do. After all, I needed as much practice as I could get. "Try to make the pieces as equal as possible," Severus suggested, "Small, but equal." I nodded, and began chopping the daisy roots.

I really enjoyed that lesson with Severus. I figured that it was a bit tedious for Severus to have to teach me rather than to learn, but if it was, he didn't show it. For homework, Slughorn gave us a foot on monkswood.

"So, how about we meet in the library?" I suggested. "You're not an insomniac, are you?" He shook his head. "After dinner, then?"

"Sure," he replied, "I'll see you there."

It surprised me that Severus and I could become friends. I mean, we weren't nearly as close as he and Lily were, but it seemed like it became less of a chore for him to work with me during Potions classes. We met at least three times a week to work on homework. During all of this time, we talked a bit.

"So, you're friends with Lily Evans, right?" I asked him one Thursday, while I was copying down the uses of bezoar stones. Severus smiled slightly, but it was a condescending smile.

"I'm hoping that that wasn't an actual question," he said, "Rather that you were attempting to open a conversation." I smiled, and nodded.

"I was wondering," I said, "Remus said that you were neighbors. Do you know Rose?"

"We've met," he said cautiously.

"What do you think of her?" I asked. Rose was a person that everyone had a strong reaction to. People were never ambivalent about Rose. Petunia hated her. So did Dolores Umbridge. Remus didn't know her very well, but he seemed scared of her. Kylee and I loved her. I really wanted to know what Severus's reaction to her had been.

"She's... interesting, I guess," he said hesitantly. I sighed.

"Severus, we went to school together," I explained, "I know the whole temper thing. It's not really a secret."

"Well, Lily asked me not to tell anyone. She's nice, I guess. When we were five, though, she broke my leg." I raised my eyebrows. He explained. "I was teasing her, you see. Petunia had stuck a piece of gum in her hair, right near her hairline. She put it in really well. It was impossible for her to get out. Her parents had to cut off almost all of her hair. She had about an inch left. I was teasing her about that. We were at the playground, at the top of the jungle gym. She got really mad and lost her temper..." His voice trailed off. He took a deep breath and continued. "The next thing I knew, I was on the ground with a broken leg. Since then, I've stayed away from her. Besides, she mostly keeps to herself. You said that you two were friends?"

"Yeah," I said, "I went to Morgan's before I came here. We were friends there."

Severus and I steered clear of sensitive topics like James and the House Quidditch Cup. But, thanks to his tips, my Potions skills improved dramatically. Remus, even though he was partnered with Lily, didn't improve very much. I guess that some people were just terrible at Potions. Me? I just didn't have any experience. Remus was just naturally bad.

As the summer approached, I realized that, yet again, I had nowhere to go. So I started asking around. I started by asking James. After all, his family had been happy to let me in for Christmas break. They had plenty of room, after all.

"James, can I stay at your place for the summer?" I asked during lunch.

"My mom doesn't want anyone at my house this summer. She wants a break from all of you, I guess." So I asked everyone else. They all had reasons. I began with Remus. He reminded me that the full moon falls three times during summer break, and he didn't want me near during that. I didn't ask Lia because of her insane father. I also didn't ask Sirius again. So, I went to Lily.

"Lily, can I stay at your place this summer?"

"Sure. If you can put up with Petunia." I told her that it wouldn't be a problem, and she sent an owl to her parents to make sure it was okay. They knew who I was - I'd stayed at their place for summer break before.

I began packing again. All my belongings went into the suitcase and, as usual, there weren't a lot of them to begin with.

For the second time, I got on the train with my friends. I sat with the boys. Sirius didn't look happy, and I couldn't blame him. He was going home. He'd told me countless times that he hated going home, and how he'd rather have no home at all than have the family that he had. I hated to say that we would just have to disagree. I'd always believe that a bad family was better than no family. When I got off the train, I immediately searched for the tell-tale red hair that signaled where Lily was. I saw it immediately. Rose was there too.

It had been ages since I'd last seen Rose. Since I'd managed to write her a letter after Christmas, we'd had a penpal relationship, but it was different that seeing her every day. For the first half of my year at Hogwarts, it was enough just to get by. I was concentrating on that so hard that I hadn't remembered to miss Rose. But during the second half of the school year, I really missed her. Sure, she hadn't been my best friend at Morgan's. That place was reserved for Artemis. But Rose was always there for me, when Artemis couldn't.

"Sabrina!" Rose squealed. "When Lily said you were coming, I was SO excited. Are you staying for the whole summer?"

"I hope so," I answered, "If your parents will have me."

"Of course we will," Mrs. Evans said, smiling. She, Lily, and Rose had the same smile. I rarely saw it from Lily, and I hadn't seen it from Rose since Christmas, so it was nice to see it again. Mrs. Evans, however, didn't look anything like Lily or Rose. She didn't have their green eyes or their bright red hair. With her light brown hair and hazel eyes, she looked just like Petunia. Mr. Evans wasn't there to meet us at the train, but I remembered what he looked like. He looked like Rose and Lily. He had the same green eyes. And even though his hair wasn't as bright as Lily's and Rose's hair, it was still red.

Then I saw Petunia. She had brown hair and a scowl on her face. Her neck was almost a foot long. I'd barely seen her the last time I'd visited the Evans's for the summer. She'd been at sleepaway camp for most of the summer. For the part of the summer that she was actually home, she mostly just sat in her room.

"Hey, are you Petunia?" I asked, trying to make conversation.

"What is it to you?" she sneered. I was vividly reminded of Bellatrix Lestrange. Petunia was just so cold. She would judge people without hearing a word that they said. It was funny, though. Bellatrix would judge you for your lack of magical blood. Petunia would judge you because you were magical in the first place. The four of us piled into Mrs. Evans's car. Petunia sat in the front next to her mother and put a set of headphones on her ears. Rose insisted that I sit in the middle of the back, and so I had the two redheaded twins sitting on either side of me.

We didn't say much during the car ride to Lily's house. Sure, the car ride was fairly short. But Petunia's annoyance and anger permeated the whole car.

Once we got there, we separated into rooms. Petunia had her own room on the second floor, and Lily and Rose shared the attic. I remembered Rose telling me when I first met her, how Lily and Rose had begged for the attic. They were able to make the attic as magical as they wanted, since it was rare that anyone would visit them there. Since both of them had their own bunk beds, I stayed under Lily since she was neater –much neater – than Rose.

The attic was beautiful, in a strange, magical way. Rose had a couple bookshelves where spellbooks and muggle fiction books sat next to each other. She had a broomstick propped up against her desk. I had been there when she bewitched it to fly herself. The bottom bed in her bunkbed was messy. Her suitcase, still packed, was sitting on her bed, surrounded by bits of parchment and broken quills.

Lily was very different. She had a Chudley Canons poster on the wall next to her bed. I was sure that Georgia had given it to her. She also had a broomstick, but it was store-bought. She hadn't bewitched it herself. The bed underneath hers was completely empty, and that was where I put my suitcase.

"So," Rose said, closing the door, "I haven't talk to either of you for a while." She hopped up on her bed. Lily did the same, and I joined her. "I was just remembering when you turned that teacup into the rat. Remember? That was probably the only time you ever saw Petunia, right? And you completely freaked her out." Rose seemed to enjoy that memory.

"Rose," Lily warned, "We have to be nice to Petunia. She loves us, after all."

"Speak for yourself," Rose said, shrugging, "She's always liked you better. Remember? I'm the weird one." And I did remember. After all, she hadn't been accepted into Hogwarts. Artemis had explained it to me back in second year.

_"Magic manifests itself differently in everybody," she explained, "A lot of people don't realize the toll it takes on young children, though. They can't control it. It takes over their bodies, controls them. Wizarding families understand this. But Rose, well, magic manifested itself strongly in her. She was forced to learn to control it when she was very young to keep it from controlling her. She was strong. She managed. But, she wasn't as in-control as most students at Hogwarts. When Lily got her acceptance letter, Rose got a letter explaining that Morgan's would be a better fit for her. Here, it's all about the brainwork. At Hogwarts, it's memorizing spells and potions. Morgan's taught her how to control her magic in ways that Hogwarts would never have dreamed of teaching."_

Artemis had explained that while Lily was able to seem normal in front of her parents and Petunia, Rose wasn't. Petunia didn't dislike Lily until Lily got her letter. Petunia didn't realize that Lily was a witch. But she knew that Rose was. Sure, Lily would do strange things once in a while, but it was nothing compared to Rose.

"Sabs," Rose said, turning to me. 'Sabs' was her nickname for me. "You seem different, somehow. I don't know how. You just seem ... different."

"Different?" I asked, "You mean, I'm happy?"

"No," Rose said, sitting on her bed. "I mean always in a good mood. Relaxed. Yeah, happy, I guess. See, back at Christmas, you would be happy for moments. Your default wasn't 'happy.' It seems like your default is different now."

"That's because she's got a boyfriend," Lily added.

"What? Who? How come I didn't know about this?" I asked.

"Remus, Sabs, it's kind of obvious. Come on, all of those late-night chats? Are you telling me that you're jut _friends_?"

"It's not like we're going out or anything. We _are_ just friends."

"But you like him." I sighed. I'd thought about Remus and me before. I'd tried to come up with some reasoning to defend remaining 'just friends' with him. I hadn't come up with much. I _did_ like him.

"Yeah," I said slowly, "But he might not like me. It's complicated."

"Try to explain." I gave a nervous glace at Rose. I knew that she knew that Remus was a werewolf and anything. But I didn't think that Lily knew that Rose knew. If I let it slip, I didn't want Lily to get mad at me.

"It's okay, Rose knows everything." Lily reassured me. I didn't really know how to put what I wanted to say into words.

"We're friends," I began, "And that's the best part of him. I love being his friend. He's so sweet and understanding. See, friendships work out so much more often than boyfriend-girlfriend relationships. I want to stay friends with him. I don't want to lose that. It's too important to me, and I think that it's too important to him. If that means not being his girlfriend, so be it. It doesn't matter if I like him or not."

"But it does matter," Rose argued. Rose read romance novels. It was no wonder she argued with me. "Maybe he feels the same way. You could tell him before you tell him that you like him that if it doesn't work out, you want to be friends. And you don't want it to be awkward."

"It'll still be awkward," I replied.

"Think about it," Lily added, "It's Remus. You two get along perfectly. You guys would never fight. You never have. You guys are just so perfect together. I don't understand why I didn't see it before. You guys are just happier around each other. You guys have never fought."

"Yeah we did," I said quietly, "In November." But Lily brushed that aside.

"That doesn't count."

"You wouldn't talk to me for two whole months. And now you say it doesn't count?"

"Well, it doesn't. It's June. You haven't fought since then. You've been hanging out with him every second you possibly can. If you haven't fought by now, you won't fight in the future. Besides, Sirius told me about the whole 'Artemis thing.' I understand. You had every reason to get freaked out that he was a werewolf. You guys are both over that fight now. I don't see you guys fighting in the future, either."

I sighed. I knew Lily was right.

"Still, it would be awkward to tell him."

"Don't," Rose suggested, "Don't tell him. Most boys don't get hints, but I bet Remus will. He seems nice enough. You've said that he's really perceptive. If you drop hints that you like him, maybe he'll ask you out."

Then, Mrs. Evans called us down to dinner where we sat near Petunia. Mr. Evans was home by then. Petunia didn't say a word during dinner, but Mr. Evans asked us all about our years at school. Lily told him all about James's animal prank. She didn't mention any names, though. I knew that she hated James, and would never speak about him during dinner. I told Mr. Evans about being partners with Severus in Potions class, because I knew that he knew Severus.

"And you should've seen his potions book!" I exclaimed.

"I've seen it," Lily said reverently. "It's incredible. It's as if he's written in the margins everything that he knows about every type of magic. Spells that he's created. Improvements to potions in the textbooks. They're all in there."

"What I wouldn't give to borrow that book," I muttered.

And the next day, Petunia brought a little surprise. She came in around three in the afternoon with a boy. According to Lily and Rose, they'd been going out for a while, but they'd never met him. His name was Vernon. At the time, Rose, Lily, and I had been in the backyard. Rose had bewitched a broom for me, and we were flying all over the backyard, playing catch with apples.

"Rose?" I asked, throwing her the apple.

"Yeah?" she replied, tossing it to Lily.

"Isn't there some law that says that we can't do magic outside of school? If there is, how could you bewitch the brooms?"

"It's too hard for them to keep track of this house. I mean, come on. For eleven years, magic was squirting out of this house all of the time. They took it off of the houses that they check for underage magic. They don't pay attention, so we can do whatever we want here. It's like being at a wizarding house. They expect the parents to keep their children from performing magic."

"Vernon, these are my parents," we heard Petunia say from inside the kitchen. We flew down, and touched the ground, just in time for Petunia and Vernon to walk into the backyard.

"And these are my sisters, Rose and Lily. And Lily's friend, Sabrina."

"Actually, I'm also Rose's friend," I added coldly. I knew that I was being nit-picky, but I didn't care. Petunia was just so rude to me that I didn't care what she thought of me.

"Whatever. They go to a private school. They have learning issues." I saw Lily glaring at Petunia out of the corner of my eye.

"I see," Vernon said, politely.

Tha was pretty much the end of our conversation. Once Petunia came back from her date, Lily gave her hell.

"Learning issues!" Lily screamed at her. Rose and I were in the attic, while Lily was yelling in the kitchen.

"Better that than say you were criminally insane!" Petunia shouted back.

"Well, yeah! Couldn't you just say that we wanted to go and you didn't?"

"Yeah, but that would be a lie!"

"So is us having learning issues!"

"Gosh," Rose said to me, "She needs to keep her temper under control. She loses it too easily." She grinned. She saw that I'd raised my eyebrows at her. "I mean, I know that when I lose my temper, it's terrible. But I don't lose it very often, anymore. I haven't lost it at Petunia since I was ten. My self-control is marvelous."

And it went on. Petunia's temper matched Lily's. At time like those, I could tell that the two were sisters. And at times like those, I was glad that I wasn't not on Lily's bad side anymore.


	10. Animagus

"Hey, Moony, how're you feeling?" I asked one day. It was November, and Remus Lupin was lying in bed in the hospital wing.

"I feel fine, but she won't let me go," he pouted. I grinned. He'd been saying the same thing every single time I visited him after a full moon. He felt fine. And then he'd make a joke. I'd only started visiting him this year. The whole werewolf thing freaked me out too much the year before. I didn't want to be reminded of the fact that he was a werewolf. He was just my friend.

"Remus," I said, then hesitated. Remus turned his head to look at me. There was one long scratch along his face. His hands also looked beaten up, but that was all I could see. I knew that under the blankets of the Hospital Wing, there were countless more injuries. I also knew that in about four hours or so, all of his injuries would be gone.

"Yes?"

"I have an idea." I hesitated. I didn't want to freak him out or anything. He could be so touchy about the whole werewolf thing.

"Okay.."

"You may not like it," I warned him. I knew that it was always best to give Remus fair warning when you were about to say something that you knew would upset him. I didn't want him to be upset at me.

"What is it?" he pushed.

"Well, you know how technically, people can't be around you during a full moon?" His face darkened.

"It's not technically. It's just plain common sense, Sabs." He'd picked up Rose's nickname from Lily, who'd started calling me 'Sabs' over the summer break.

"Well, I wouldn't be so sure of that."

"Well, I am. Sabs, I wouldn't be able to stand it if I ... if I ... hurt you. End of discussion."

"But-"

"End of discussion." I had no choice. Sirius, Peter, James and I had to put our plan into affect without Remus's approval. We'd been planning it since May. Rose had helped me practice all summer long until I got it. I was then able to help teach James, Sirius, and Peter when we got back from break. They'd decided that I should be the one to talk to Remus about our plan, but he wasn't willing to listen.

The night of the next full moon, the four of us snuck under James's invisibility cloak to the Whomping Willow. It was hard to fit the four of us under it, since Pete was large widthwise, and Sirius and James were big lengthwise. But, somehow, we managed.

"Pete, transform," James whispered. With that, Pete became a rat. He raced up to the willow and touched a large knot on the tree. The tree froze, and the three of us followed Pete inside the tree.

We followed the pathway into the Shrieking Shack. Remus was already there. He was talking to Madam Pomfrey. She had her back to us, so she didn't know we were there, but Remus saw us. The only reason he didn't speak, I knew, was to keep us from getting in trouble.

We went farther into the room and hid until Madam Pomfrey left. As soon as she left, she locked the door.

"What are you doing here?" he whispered angrily, probably thinking that Madam Pomfrey would hear him if he was too loud.

"Well, you wouldn't let your girlfriend explain before, so we figured we'd just make you understand," James said calmly. "You know, this would've been a hell of a lot easier if you just let her explain a month ago."

"What the hell are you talking about," he said, not caring how loud he got. He knew that by now, Madam Pomfrey was long gone. She didn't stick around long.

"We're animagi. You can't hurt us," I said. He didn't believe me, I could tell, so I showed him. Within an instant, I had transformed into a unicorn. When I transformed back, he was staring, openmouthed.

"See, that was what I tried to tell you. We want to help," I said. Then, the evening began.

"Turn around," he whispered.

"What?"

"Turn around. I don't want you seeing this." For years afterwards, that was always the rule. We turned, and a few seconds later, when we turned back, in Remus's place was a werewolf. The creature from my nightmares.

All four of us transformed. Remus looked up, saw us, and pounced on Sirius first. Without hurting him, the rest of us kept him away. The night went by quickly. I will admit, I was exhausted. We took turns sleeping. I got a total of half an hour of sleep. Even for me, that wasn't much.

Right before dawn came, Pete picked the lock with his paw (it was that small), and the four of us hurried out. We didn't want to be there when Madam Pomfrey came back. Being unregistered animagi wasn't exactly legal.

The next day was Saturday. We visited Remus as soon as we could. He immediately started chastising us, as usual.

"What were you thinking?" he demanded quietly, "You could've been killed."

"No, we couldn't have," Sirius responded, "Did you miss the whole 'we're animagi, you can't hurt us' bit?"

"Yes you could've."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"YES! Now stop arguing."

"NO! And you stop." Remus rolled his eyes, and shut up.

"Remus, you don't have nearly as many scratches as last time," I told him, "See, we can help."

"No broken bones," James added, "Madam Pomfrey's going to be mightly confused, I'll tell you that."

"No broken bones yet. James will figure out some way to injure you. Count on it. Think of all the staircases between here and the Common Room," Sirius added.

Remus shrugged. But, I'm pretty sure he was grateful for us when Madam Pomfrey needed to keep him for less than a day. He hated being in the Hospital Wing more than anyone else. For years, even when he began a Hogwarts teacher, he never went in to the Hospital Wing if he could help it. It wasn't that Madam Pomfrey was mean. In fact, she was very nice. He just hated being cooped up like that. He was grateful that he was let out that evening.

That night, the girls were talking. As usual. But, it wasn't about Snape. It was weird, too. It was weird because they were talking to me. Usually, they would talk while I would sit on my bed, reading or doing homework. All of a sudden, I was in the center of it.

"He likes you, Sabs, can't you see it?" Lily was saying.

"No, he doesn't," I replied, "I like him, sure, but he doesn't like me back."

"He'd never get up the courage to admit it, anyway," Georgia smirked.

"George, he's braver than you think."

"If he tells you, I swear, I'll go out with James," Lily said, laughing.

"You swear?"

"I swear." There was a slightly awkward silence.

"So, how about them Cannons?" Georgia asked. She made us all smile. She was the only one who followed Quittitch, but even we knew that the Chudley Cannons were the worst team in the league. Of course, since Georgia was the only one who _really_ cared about Quidditch, we were all Cannons fans, and the rest of us had no idea how terribly they were playing that season.

The rest of the year passed nicely. We played a few small pranks, we were with Moony during the full moons, we did well in school (thanks to Moony), and we had fun. We didn't pull any major pranks. According to James, managing to break an important law was enough troublemaking for the year. But when the OWL's came along, life started to change.

Lily changed.


	11. Snape's Worst Memory

Disclaimer: Any lines or characters or events that you recognize (or even if you fail to recognize them) do not, in fact, belong to me. They belong to a genius named J. K. Rowling.

It was the end of May, and teachers had been loading us with homework for the past month or so. Why? OWL's. They were terrible. The only reason we got through it was because of Remus's incredible skills at schoolwork. It always amazed me how Peter (recently nicknamed 'Wormtail') was able to actually pass tests. But, the story that I want to tell you now didn't have to do with tests and school. It had to do with Lily.

She still fought with Georgia nearly every day. The only difference was, it stopped being about how Lily should ditch Snape because he was evil, and it became about how Snape was just evil. Georgia was taking a different tactic. She knew that Lily wasn't going to stop being friends with him. She just wanted her to admit that being friends with him was a bad idea, even if she was going to continue doing it. Well, that tactic didn't last for long.

It was right after the Defense Against the Dark Arts exam, the second-to-last exam. I thought it was easy. Then again, I was pretty sure I had failed Potions, so it kind of balanced out. Even with the few months working with Severus during fourth year, I was still no good at Potions.

"Did you like question ten, Moony?" Sirius asked Moony as soon as we left the exam hall. I grinned. I was sure I got that one.

"Loved it," Remus replied, winking at me, "Give five signs that identify the werewolf. Excellent question."

"D'you think you managed to get all the signs?" asked James, sarcastically. Remus pretended to think.

"Think I did. One: He's sitting on my chair. Two: He's wearing my clothes. Three: His name's Remus Lupin." I started laughing. The five of us had become closer and closer friends. Remus was more open than he had been before we became animagi. He joked more. He laughed more. He wasn't so touchy about being a werewolf all of the time. He had accepted what he was, and he had accepted that we had embraced it.

But Peter actually seemed nervous.

"I got the snout shape, the pupils of the eyes, and the tufted tail," he said, "But I couldn't think what else-"

"How thick are you, Wormtail?" said James, rolling his eyes, "You run around with a werewolf once a month-" I agreed. Wormtail could be so stupid, sometimes. It didn't make any sense to me. It wasn't as if he always goofed off in class like James and Sirius did. In fact, he seemed to be paying attention. But no matter what, he could never manage to remember what he was taught. I suppose that the same went for life experiences.

"Keep your voice down," Remus reminded them.

"Why?" I whispered in his ear, "Almost everyone knows." He smiled.

"Not the Slytherins," he whispered back, "And Snape's right behind us."

"Well, I thought that paper was a piece of cake," Sirius announced, ignoring our whispered conversation, "I'll be surprised if I don't get an outstanding on it at least."

"Me too," James agreed. He reached his hand into his pocket and took out a golden snitch.

"Where'd you get that?" I asked.

"Nicked it." I rolled my eyes. I knew James. He'd give it back at the end of the day. Well, at least in time for the next Quidditch match.

We kept walking until we came to one of our hang-out spots. The beech tree. When it was nice out, and I wanted to hang out with the Marauders, we'd sit there. If I wanted to talk to just Remus, we'd sit on our bench. If I wanted to be alone, which was almost never now, I'd go to the woods. I hadn't been back there in a long time. I hadn't told Remus about the woods. It was a place that was all mine. I could walk in there for hours, and not see another living soul.

I leaned against the tree, next to Remus. He pulled out a book.

"What is that?" I asked him, resting my head on his shoulder. He leaned his head on mine slightly.

"Transfiguration."

"Studying?"

"Yup."

"You're crazy. You must have that thing memorized by now."

"Not really. Only about fifty pages." I glanced up at him, saw he was smiling, and smiled back.

"You weren't sure if I was kidding, were you?" he asked, playfully.

"I can never tell," I murmured into his shoulder.

James was lying on his back, with Pete sitting up next to hiom, watching James play with the snitch. He congratulated particularly good catches, and hung on James's every word. Peter was like a shadow to us. I would never have told him, but it never felt as if he was really part of the Marauders. He just hung out with us because we were cool, strong, and popular.

Sirius sat next to Remus, his back against the tree, looking around at the people outside.

"Looking for Georgia?" I teased him. He grinned. I knew I was right. Georgia and Sirius were going out, but not officially. We all knew that if Sirius had an official girlfriend, it would be the end of the world.

"Put that away, will you?" Sirius finally said to James, nodding at the snitch. Remmy and I exchanged glances. We knew he just wanted to change the subject. While Sirius was glad to be going out with Georgia, he wasn't the type of person who enjoyed talking about his relationships. He figured that he should change the subject quickly - before it got there.

"Before Wormtail wets himself with excitement," I added quietly. Pete turned pink.

"If it bothers you," James replied, shoving the snitch back in his pocket.

"I'm bored," Sirius yawned, "Wish it was full moon."

"You might," Remus muttered, "We've still got Transfiguration, if you're bored, you could test me. Here." He held out the book to Sirius. Sirius snorted.

"I don't need to look at that rubbish. I know it all." Remus raised his eyebrows, put didn't press the issue. If James had said it, I would've believed him. But this was Sirius. Transfiguration wasn't his forte. Of course, he was fair. If he weren't, there wasn't a chance that he could've become an animagus.

"This'll liven you up, Padfoot," James said in an almost-whisper. "Look who it is." Sirius turned to look where James was looking.

"Excellent," he whispered, "Snivellus."

The mood between us and Snape had worsened over the past year. The hatred grew. It seemed like James and Sirius made it their job to make Snape's life a living hell. I never stopped them. Nobody got hurt, so I stayed silent. Lily hated it. She didn't usually blame the rest of us for just standing by, though. She was just constantly furious with James and Sirius. She stood up for Snape whenever she could. I respected that. I knew from my experiences working with him in Potions that he could be a nice guy. But he started the fights with James and Sirius as much as they started the fights with him.

"All right, Snivellus?" said James loudly. He was striding towards Snape with Sirius next to him. Pete sat, expecting a fight. Remmy and I sat against the tree.

"If you don't like it," I asked him, "Why don't you do anything?"

"Don't you get it?" he replied, "They're the first friends I had. I want to keep their respect. I'm not helping. That's all I can do. I can't control them." Funny. He had just said what I'd been trying to explain to myself for the past few months.

As soon as James spoke, Snape whipped around and pulled out his wand. He hadn't even gotten it out when James shouted : "Expelliarmus!"

"Ugh, I can't watch," I muttered. I glanced at Remus's book but quickly looked away. "That's the most boring book I've ever seen. How do you read it?" He shrugged.

"It's easier if you think when you read it," he replied, "It's something James and Sirius never do."

Snape's wand flew into the air and fell behind him. Sirius laughed.

"Impedimenta!" he said. Snape was knocked off his feet. Students began to gather around the battle. I didn't. I hated to see them fight as much as Remus did. Severus had stopped by to visit a couple times during the summer. He mostly ignored Rose and me, so we'd hang out while Lily and Severus hung out. I understood what Lily meant when she said that he wasn't a bad person.

"How'd the exam go, Snivelly?" James taunted him.

"I was watching him," Sirius sniggered, "His nose was touching the parchment. There'll be great grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word." A few people laughed. I didn't.

"He's so immature," Remus muttered as he turned a page of his book. It was then that I realized that Remus wasn't ignoring them. He was trying to. Trying and failing.

"You wait," Snape panted at James, "You wait." I knew why Snape was panting. James had tried out his latest hex on him. He'd found it in an old book in the library. He caused the victim to be out of breath, almost a magical way to hit someone in the solar plexus.

"Wait for what?" Sirius replied coolly, "What're you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?"

"Immature," Remus muttered again.

Snape started swearing. He did that often. Whenever he didn't know what to say, whenever Sirius and James started making nasty comments, he'd just stand there and swear.

"Wash out you mouth," James snapped, "Scourgify."

"Ugh," I muttered, hearing Snape choke on the bubbles. I was about to get up. I didn't know what I was going to do, but I couldn't just sit there watching. Then, someone did it for me. She marched over to where the fight was happening. She pushed her way through the crowd.

"Leave him ALONE!" Lily yelled. I could just see her in my mind's eye. Her green eyes flashed with fury, her red hair flying behind her. When she was mad, boy was she mad. Of course, her temper was nothing compared to Rose's. I tried not to think about what would've happened had Rose been in Lily's shoes.

"All right, Evans?" James asked, trying to be mature. It was a losing battle.

"Leave him alone," Lily snapped, "What's he done to you?" It was rhetorical. Even I could see that, and I hated rhetorical questions.

"Well," said James. Obviously, he didn't catch the drift. "It's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean." More laughter. James had given up on trying to be mature. I didn't blame him. After all, having Lily yell at you wasn't exactly a calming experience.

"You think you're funny," Lily said, her voice becoming quieter as she grew more and more angry. I could just see her shaking a finger at him. "But you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him alone."

"I will if you go out with me, Evans," James said quickly. "Go on, go out with me, and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again." I groaned. _Now's not the time, James,_ I thought to myself.

"I wouldn't go out with you," she snarled, "If it was a choice between you and the giant squid."

"Bad luck, Prongs," Sirius sighed, "Oy!" Snape had tried to reach for his wand again. There was a gap in the crowd, and I could see what was going on. Snape had hit James. There was a gash on his face. In an instant, Snape was hanging upside-down in the air.

There was more cheering and laughing.

"Let him down," Lily warned, but I think I heard a hint of a smile in her voice.

"Certainly," James said, pretending to bow. Snape landed in a heap on the ground. He reached for his wand, and Sirius immediately hexed him. Remus still sat there, next to me, trying to ignore the fight. _Lily has it under control_, I told myself, _No need to get involved._ Peter was no longer sitting with us. He was standing in the circle of people surrounding the fight.

"Leave him alone!" Lily shouted again. She held out her own wand, and it was pointed right at James.

"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you," James said.

"Take the curse off him, then!" James sighed and let him go.

"There you go," James said as Snape struggled to his feet, "You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus-"

"I don't need help from filthy little mudbloods like her!" Even Remus looked up, stunned, at that. Snape had called muggleborns that all the time, but never Lily. My eyes widened. Remus slammed his book closed and jumped to his feet. I joined him, but we didn't move any closer to the fight.

"Fine," she said, coolly, "I won't bother in future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus." Man, she knew how to hit below the belt. I'd been a recipient of one to many of those hits.

"Apologize to Evans!" James roared.

"I don't want YOU to make him apologize," Lily shouted, "You're just as bad as he is."

"What?" James yelped, "I'd NEVER call you a you-know-what!" I couldn't believe what was happening. This was exactly what Lily had sworn would never happen. She swore that she and Severus would be friends forever, no matter what James did.

"Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid snitch, walking down the corriders and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can - I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me sick."

She turned and stalked off.

"Evans! Hey Evans!" James shouted.

She didn't look back. Remus and I ran after her.

A/N: A nice long chapter for you. Remember to say thank you and review!


	12. The Forbidden Forest

A/N: Here it is: a new chapter. Please review!

"Lily, wait up," I panted, "You know I'm not athletic. I can't run." Lily ignored me and kept running. I know, if I exercised more, my legs wouldn't be burning. My heart wouldn't be pounding. I wouldn't have an incredibly painful stitch in my side. I know. Nobody in the circle around Snape, Sirius, and James were watching us. I didn't know it at the time, but as soon as Lily had raced off, Snape had joined Mulciber and Avery (a couple of his Slytherin friends), and stalked off with them. Even he wasn't watching Lily run.

"Lily, you have to stop running sometime," Remus called. She didn't stop. She kept running. Straight into the forest. Into my old sanctuary. If she was crying, she was crying silently. All that Remus and I had to follow was her bright red hair.

It became harder to keep up. This wasn't the way I usually entered the forest. Lily knew this area. She dodged the trees as if she'd done this countless times. I tripped, I fell, so did Remus. I mean, it wasn't surprising that Lily had visited the forest just like I had. The forest was a big place. I figured that it was easy for two people to visit the forest, and never see each other. Nobody besides me knew that I visited the forest, and, likewise, nobody knew that Lily visited it as well.

We entered the darker part of the forest. Lily was out of sight by then.

"Where are we?" Remus asked, panting. He'd fallen more than I had. Despite the fact that I'd never been to this part of the forest, I was used to navigating the thick underbrush that covered the forest floor.

"The Forbidden Forest," I answered. He rolled his eyes.

"I know that. Are we lost?" I shook my head. "In my opinion, you aren't lost until you don't know how to get out. I could get out."

"How do you know?"

"I know how far in we are. It'll be easy to get back out." Soon enough, we spotted Lily. She was right on the edge of the inner circle of the forest. She sat in a forked tree, a couple of feet off the ground. The branches were big and thick. She sat where the truck split into two. Her back was against one trunk; her feet were resting on the other. Her long red hair was covering most of her face so I couldn't see it.

"Lily?" I asked, cautiously. She turned to face me. She was crying.

"I'm so stupid," she whispered.

"No, you-"

"Yes, I am!" she said, louder, "You guys kept trying to tell me! I couldn't see the truth when it was staring me right in the face. I'm an idiot. Georgia was right. All along."

"Lily," I began, "It wasn't your fault. Snape was the one who betrayed your trust. You couldn't have seen that coming. You were friends. People trust their friends. You trusted Snape. He decided that your friendship wasn't worth it. Don't blame yourself for this. Blame Snape."

"But I saw the signs," she said quietly, "I saw him using dark magic. I convinced myself that it was something else. I heard of him calling muggleborns names. I told myself that they weren't true. I was stupid. It was my fault that it ended this way. I convinced myself that he was good. I ignored everything that said otherwise. I was stupid. I was-"

"No, you aren't," Remus said. "You aren't any of those things. Look, you couldn't have known. And besides, what's done is done. Don't spend your time wishing that you would've done something different. You can't change it. All you can do is make decisions about the present. The past? It's over. It's done with. It's no use trying to ask yourself 'what if.' You can't know if things would've been different."

Lily didn't answer. She wiped her tears away. She took a deep breath. I was eager to get her off the topic. Distract her. Make her think and talk about something other than Snape.

"How long have you been coming here?" I asked her.

"Since first year," she said, "When I didn't get into Slytherin with Severus. I needed to be alone. To think. So, I started walking around the grounds. But those were too crowded in September, when the weather was nice. I came in here. Nobody ever comes in here."

"I do," I told her, "I've never seen you here, though. I started coming here the summer before fourth year. I did a lot of walking in the middle of the night. The grounds get boring after a while. I started to walk around in here."

"It's just so calm and peaceful," Lily whispered, "Nothing bad could ever happen in here." I knew that she was only referring to the Inner Ring. The two outer rings were dangerous and scary. But it was hard to believe that they existed when you were in the Inner Ring.

We went to the Common Room. It was dinnertime. I wasn't hungry. And while I knew I'd regret it later, I didn't go to the Great Hall to eat. Lily simply retreated back to the dormitory, while Remus and I sat on the couch that we sat on together early almost every morning.

"Poor Lily," he whispered. I nodded.

"I knew he was mean and selfish, but never evil," I added, "When we worked together in Potions, he could be really nice. He helped me a lot. He had me believing that it was James and Sirius's fault for making him mean. But, I guess I was wrong." For a few minutes, we just sat there. Then, I started laughing to myself. I mean, I was laughing out loud, but it wasn't laughing with someone else.

"You know, I'm really glad I'm not Snape right now," I giggled.

"Why?"

"Before long, Lily's going to stop being upset, and she'll start being mad." Remus smiled as well. He knew just as well as I did how terrible Lily's temper was. It wasn't anywhere near Rose level, but it was terrible to be on its receiving end. Just then, Mary, a seventh year, came into the Common Room, rolled her eyes, and went up to the dorm. A few minutes later, Lily stormed out. She didn't look at us as she passed. She pushed the portrait out of her way, and she stuck her head out.

"What do you want?" she demanded.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not interested," she hissed. She was wearing muggle clothes. Many students wore muggle clothes when they weren't in class. Hogwarts robes were only required at class and dinner (not counting Christmas and Easter breaks). I'd been told that it was fairly recent, which was why parents had so much trouble wearing muggle clothes.

"I'm sorry!"

"Save your breath." Though I couldn't see who she was talking to, I knew who it was. His voice was greasy, and Lily's tone was harsh. It was Snape. There was no doubt about it.

"I only came out here because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here."

"I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just-" His greasy voice was pleading.

"Man, he's desperate," I murmured into Remus's ear.

"Slipped out?" Lily demanded. "It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you." I knew that she was right. Even though Lia, Alice, and I never commented on her choice of friends, she knew that we disapproved. "You and your precious little Death Eater friends – you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?"

I made a mental note to ask Remus what Death Eaters were. Snape stuttered a little and gave up.

"I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way. I've chosen mine."

"No – listen, I didn't mean-"

"-to call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"

Once again, Snape tried to speak, but couldn't find the words. Lily turned her back on him, faced us, closed the door and immediately burst into tears. I got up and guided her into the seat next to me. I knew that no matter how much she ignored and yelled at Snape, it would always hurt her that they'd stopped being friends. I knew that it would never be easy for her to ever see him.

"Lily, it'll be okay," I tried to comfort her.

"No it won't," she said through her tears.

"So it won't," I said,shrugging, "But things always look better in the morning. Go to sleep. When you wake up, things will look brighter."

I walked her up to the dormitory and then went back down to Remus's side.

"You handled that well," Remus told me.

"Thanks," I whispered. "I feel bad for her. She feels so bad. She's convinced that this is all her fault."

Just then, Sirius, James and Peter came into the Common Room.

"What happened?" James demanded. "Is Lily okay?" I couldn't believe it. He didn't even mention how now that Snape was proven evil, he could convince Lily to go out with him. He didn't celebrate. All he cared about was Lily. Was she okay.

"She'll be fine," I told him, "She's angry, upset and a little shell-shocked, I think."

"Well, that's good."

"How's Snape?" Remus asked. We hadn't seen Snape. Just heard him. They probably had.

James shrugged. "He's been better. He'll get over it, get married to one of Sirius's cousins, and live happily ever after." I couldn't help it. I grinned. Even though James was being all mature about the whole proving-Snape-evil thing, he still managed to do it in a funny way.

I was right. Lily felt better the next morning. She didn't fight with Georgia. She was a little solemn, though. She wouldn't speak to Snape. She was good at the cold shoulder, I could give her that. Heck, I'd gotten it countless times. It was different seeing it as a third party. In a way, it even seemed harsher.

When we went home for the summer, I went to James's house. Again. Sirius wasn't allowed to. His parents had forced him to stay home. It was the last time he'd be home for a very long time.


	13. Runaway

A/N: Yup, a little more eventful. Please review! You know the drill!

I went home with James that summer before sixth year. Nobody else came. Remus wanted to be home – he hadn't seen his aunt since Christmas. Sirius was forced to stay home, and Pete had older sisters who he wanted to spend the summer with. So, it was just me, James, and his parents. We had the huge Potter mansion all to ourselves. It was nice. I liked how peaceful it was. James ruined the whole peaceful thing, though.

The first few days were uneventful. James was a Chaser on the Quidditch team, and he was trying to teach me how to play. I was hopeless. I think he realized that fairly quickly. I'd played catch on broomsticks with Rose and Lily the previous summer, but it was nothing compared to actually attempting Quidditch. James had set up a Quidditch pitch in his backyard, and we played there.

"No, Sabs," he was calling across the field in their backyard, "You're not supposed to fall off." He'd aimed a Bludger right at me, and I'd almost fallen off tryin to dodge it. I was no good at Quidditch. I preferred to keep my feet on the ground.

Catching was another story.

"Don't cover your head with your arms. Catch it!" It wasn't working. We decided that I could try out for Seeker. Being a Beater would not be a good plan. Since I couldn't catch, Chaser and Keeper were out. Besides, Georgia had been Keeper since second year. She was incredible. Everyone told her that she'd end up playing professionally. Gwenog Jones, who was three years older than we were (she was a seventh year when we were fourth years), had joined the Holyhead Harpies as soon as she'd left. She'd been a Keeper as well, but many people thought that Georgia was better during the three years when they'd played against each other. Gwenog had played for Ravenclaw.

Personally, I was against the whole Quittitch thing, but James was my friend. I'd try out for him. James was a Chaser, even though he was planning on trying out for Seeker sixth year. He preferred Seeker to Chaser, but Mary was Seeker, and she was pretty good.

Near the end of June, we had an unexpected visitor. It was storming outside. The power had gone out, and so we were drinking hot chocolate by candlelight.

"I love power outages," Mrs. Potter said, "It's so quiet and cozy." I mean, they were wizards. They could've gotten the power back on. They just didn't really want to. I got that. It was kind of fun. In a way, it was peaceful. I loved the peace and quiet. All you could hear was the pounding of the rain on the roof and the occasional thunder.

Then, there was a knock on the door. I looked at James, James looked at his mom, his mom looked at his dad, who shrugged.

"Who is it?" Mrs. Potter asked nerviously.

"It's me," came a voice. While I didn't recognize it, I knew that it wasn't a Death Eater. Mr. Potter seemed to recognize the voice, and he opened the door.

Standing there, pulling a suitcase, was Sirius. His hair looked messier than usual, there was a scrape on his arm and he had a slightly pathetic look on his face. He didn't look like his normal, fun-loving self. He looked defeated, but with a kind of pride.

"Uh, hi," he said quietly.

"Sirius!" Mrs. Potter exclaimed, "What a pleasant surprise! What are you doing here?"

"I, er, I ran away." Mrs. Potter raised her eyebrows. I wa in shock, but James spoke.

"Why?" Sirius just raised his eyebrows at James, silently asking, _You honestly want to know why I left? Are you an idiot?_

"Sit down, sweetie. Then you can tell us everything. I'll make you some hot chocolate," Mrs. Potter said, and she immediately started bustling around the kitchen. Sirius walked into the kitchen, closed the door behind him, placed his suitcase against the wall and sat down. He seemed a little bit in shock as well.

"Well?" James prodded. I stamped on his foot. James grimaced a little, but he shut up and let Sirius take his time.

"Well," Sirius began, "My family's never been very ideal. You guys know that. Tonight was just a breaking point." He was mostly giving the background for James's parents' benefit. He took a deep breath. "Mom and Dad invited the family over this afternoon. Bella and I got into a fight about the normal stuff. Muggleborns, Gryffindors, you know. There was yelling. Hexes were flying. Anyway, it got ugly. Dad heard us arguing, made us stop and explain, and he sided with Bella. It didn't become a conversation, though. Hexes and jinxes were still flying everywhere. Eventually, it was my whole family versus me. Well, Andy stayed out of it, of course. So, I ran away. And here I am."

"That would explain the cut," Mrs. Potter said, looking at his injured arm. She set down the hot chocolate in front of him. Sirius nodded.

"Chaser practice definitely helped me dodge most of the curses. Cissy shot one that nicked my arm. Shes got good aim, that one, even if her spells aren't very powerful." Sirius tried to smile, but he failed miserably. It looked more like a grimace.

"What's in the suitcase?" James asked, trying, I could tell, to change the subject. He was better at that then I was. When there was an awkward silence, I would just let it be. James like filling space with words.

Sirius shrugged. "Just some clothes I threw in as I ran off. I don't know what's in it." He gave another one of his half-smiles.

"Well, you can stay in that spare room next to James. That's where you usually stay, isn't it? There's always a place for you here, Sirius," Mrs. Potter said in her motherly way. It made me wish that I had had such a wonderful mother.

Sirius nodded, and James and I helped him get his suitcase up the stairs. Sirius, it seemed, was in shock. I didn't blame him. His dream had been to run away from his family, and he'd finally done it. I'd be surprised, too.

As soon as we got into Sirius's new room, Sirius sat on the bed and looked straight ahead. James closed the door behind me.

"Sirius," he said quietly, "Tell us honestly, what happened?"

"Just what I told you," Sirius whispered back, "They shouted at me, yelled. I didn't run away, I was kicked out. This wasn't what I thought it would be. I wanted to be the one in charge. I wanted to be the one with the power when I left. I wanted to show them that I wasn't under their control. It wasn't that way. They kicked me out of the family. I didn't kick myself out."

"Does it matter?" I asked. James gave me a look, but I continued. "Sirius, you got what you wanted. You're free of them. And you're glad of that, aren't you?"

"I guess. I suppose I just wanted them to worry. I wanted them to change in order to get me back. You know, how you hear parents acting on muggle TV. I just wanted them to care, just once. Maybe I didn't even want that. Maybe I just wanted to prove that I didn't need them."

"You knew that wasn't going to happen. But, now you do. You have parents who care. The Potters. They care about you a hundred times more than your family ever did. In a roundabout way, your dream was fulfilled, I guess."

"You know, for someone with family troubles, you've got a lot to say about it." I gave a half-smile. Listening to Lia giving advice all the time really paid off, I guess. She was like the mother for our year of Gryffindors. If anyone was having any troubles at all, they knew to go to Lia for advice.

Sirius stayed with James and me for the rest of the summer. Sirius was a better Quidditch teacher than James was. By the end of the summer, I could catch the Snitch while weaving around Bludgers. They told me I was good. I believed them, but I knew that James would beat me during Seeker tryouts.

We even did a little Maruader mischief. Building off of the magic that we used to make the Maruauder's Map during fifth year, we created five pieces of paper. These papers were incredible. Something that was written on one would automatically be written on all of the others. They could go blank with a single word. And you could copy them if you ran out of space, as long as everyone copied theirs at the same time. James and Sirius also tried the same with mirrors, where people could communicate between them, but they only managed to bewitch two of them.

I guess you could say I was happy. Even without Remus. Being with Remus made me feel whole. Without him, while I was happy, I wasn't the same.

A/N: I know, it took me forever to write this chapter. Come on, two-finger typing isn't THAT fast! So please, review. It will make my day!


	14. Tempers

There were only two weeks until school started when James, Sirius, and I went to Diagon Alley to get our school supplies. James's parents let us go on our own. At the time, the war wasn't really fought out in the open. Sure, there were occasional disappearances, and there was a lot of tension. But crowded areas, such as Diagon Alley, were perfectly safe. I'd never used Floo Powder before. When I was with Lily and Rose, we'd gotten to Diagon Alley through the Leaky Cauldron.

"You just take a pinch," Mrs. Potter explained, "Throw it into the fire, and say where you're going. Make sure to say it clearly, dear, or you might end up somewhere else. Sirius can go first just to show you." Sirius took a pinch of the Floo Powder, stepped into the fireplace, and threw it onto the logs. Immediately, green flames seemed to surround him.

"Diagon Alley," he shouted, and as he disappeared, so did the green flames. I took a deep breath, took a pinch of Floo Powder, and stepped into the fireplace. I threw the powder into the fireplace. The green flames didn't hurt at all as I'd expected them to. They were warm, licking at my ankles and neck.

"Diagon Alley," I called out, as clearly as I could. The sensation was impossible to describe. I wasn't sure if I was spinning or zooming along between fireplaces. When I finally stopped, I saw Sirius standing in front of me. I stepped out quickly, to make room for James when he arrived a moment later.

"Nice going, Sabrina," Sirius said, clapping sarcastically. I stuck out my tongue at him. He just laughed.

"Flourish and Blotts first, then?" James asked us, looking at his school supplies list. We agreed, and set out from the fireplace on the side of the street of Diagon Alley. I'd only been to Flourish and Blotts once before, with Lily and Rose.

"We just need _A Standard Book of Spells, Grade 6_, right?" I asked.

"Depends," James said, "What classes are you taking at NEWT level?"

"Transfiguration, DADA, Charms, Potions, and Herbology," I said, "Don't ask me how I got 'E's on Potions and Herbology. I don't understand it myself. What about you guys?" I guess that the few months working with Snape had helped a lot. Even after Lily and Snape had fought, we still worked together in Potions class. It wasn't as if we were friends or anything. We just worked well together. Snape was incredible at potion-making, and I was willing to let him improve the potions that we were assigned. As long as I understood what he was doing, I was content to do the busy-work: chopping ingredients, stirring occasionally, and skinning things that needed to be skinned. I guess that that alone was enough for me to scrape an 'E.'

"Same," Sirius said.

"Me too," James said, "So we also need _Advanced Potion Making. _I think that that's it, though." We got our copies of the two books that we needed. It was fairly easy. We went to the Apothecary to get extra Potions ingredients, and to Madam Malkin's to get James and Sirius new robes. As teenage boys, they kept growing so fast that they kept needing new robes because they outgrew their old ones.

We were about to leave when we heard familiar voices. It was Lily and Rose. They were arguing.

"We're going to get in so much trouble, and it's going to be all your fault!" Lily was shouting.

"Trouble?" Rose said loudly, "We were attacked, Lils! They broke the rules, too! Do you expect me not to fight back? They rounded a corner into the alleyway where James, Sirius, and I were standing, trying to find a fireplace to use to get home.

"No, they didn't. Rose, they're of age! They can use magic outside of school! We can't!"

"So? It's not like I have the Trace on me. They don't know I exist. Besides, there's so much magic going on here, that they can't tell what's done by underage wizards and what's done by adults. It doesn't matter."

"You need to learn to deal with your temper, Rose. You can't keep living like this forever."

"It wouldn't be a problem if people didn't keep pissing me off!" Just then, Lily and Rose noticed that we were standing right in front of them. When Sirius asked what we going on, Rose explained that she and Lily had been attacked in a back alley by a couple of young Death Eaters just out of Hogwarts. Rose had let out a wandless shield charm so hard that it knocked them down.

Wandless magic was, intrinsically, different then regular Hogwarts-taught magic. For example, the shield charm that was taught at Hogwarts was a way to deflect spells back at the caster. The way that it was taught at Morgan's was very different. It formed a sort of bubble around the person, that expanded as wished. Sometimes the shield was so strong that it was like shoving a wall against a person that was attacking you. I figured that that was the sort of shield that Rose had performed accidentally.

"Well, I'll be seeing you guys at Hogwarts," Lily said, ignoring James.

"Bye," Rose told me, "Maybe I'll see you during Christmas."

"Maybe," I replied, figuring that I'd probably spend Christmas with Remus instead.

Two weeks later, we found ourselves on the Hogwarts Express. The full moon had fallen the night before September 1st, so Remus was taking the day to recover. He was going to arrive early the next morning. James, Sirius, and I sat with Pete and Georgia during our train ride.

Sirius had his arm around Georgia's waist the whole train ride. They'd gone official in June, about a week after James caught them snogging in an unused classroom. It was all over the school in what felt like an instant. It intrigued everyone - Sirius finally had an actual girlfriend. He wasn't the relationship type. He usually just flirted with girl after girl, never committing to anything or anyone. It was why everyone had been so surprised that he'd gotten together with Georgia for the long term.

Peter sat next to James and me. Pete. I didn't trust him. I know that it sounds insane. I mean, we were friends for two years. But, I didn't trust him. I knew what he was thinking.

Legilimency had at least two forms. The first, the Hogwarts approach, was rough. It basically consisted of the caster barging his way into the victim's mind. Unless the victim was an accomplished Occlumens, the caster would see into the victim's head. The second way was the one that was taught at Morgan's. It was similar to looking into a Pensieve of the person's thoughts and memories. An accomplished Legilimens could quickly sort through the victim's thoughts and memories until he found one of interest, which he watched or heard. All of this would go on without the victim noticing, except in two circumstances. If the victim was a fairly good Occlumens, they could at least know that someone had entered their mind, and may be able to repel them. The other circumstance was when the caster wanted to be found, though that was fairly rare.

The Morgan's approach, however, was much more difficult that the Hogwarts approach. For one thing, it took a great deal more concentration. It also required contact. Not a ton of contact - even brushing up against someone would do. It was enough to enter the person's mind, but once you left, you needed to reestablish contact before reentering.

I'd brushed up against Pete. I wasn't very good at Legilimency at the time. It was the beginning of fourth year - I was depressed. I was broken. I just managed to grasp a couple thoughts that were running through his head. He was thinking about how he'd befriended James and Sirius because they were powerful. He didn't actually care about being their friend. Now, it wasn't enough for me to be convinced that he was evil. He wasn't planning on hurting them at all. I just didn't trust him.

"I love you," he whispered in my ear.

Remus and I were sitting on our bench that October. His arms were around me, and I was resting my head on his shoulder. I knew, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that I loved him, too. He leaned down slightly and kissed my cheek. I turned my head so that our lips met.

It was February. I hadn't made it onto the Quidditch team, so I sat in the Common Room that evening alone. It was a full moon. Later, I knew, James, Sirius, Peter, and I would be joining Remus in the Shrieking Shack, but for now, they had Quidditch practice.

Sirius raced in. "I forgot something," he called to me as he ran past. He clapped his hand on my shoulder as he left, as he reminded me about the Shrieking Shack that night. I wasn't listening to what he said. I was in his mind.

He was telling Snape not to come to the Shrieking Shack that night, knowing that that would make him come. He told him how to freeze the tree. He told him everything - except what would be waiting for him at the end of the passage.

I ran out to the Quidditch pitch. I knew that I would never be able to stop Snape in time. I was never a fast runner. "James!" I shouted, "James!" He touched down on his broomstick. His hair was messed up, as usual. He looked concerned. I didn't know how to explain to him what Sirius had done.

"Whomping Willow," I gasped, "Snape - he's - Sirius told him-" James understood straight away. He handed me his broom, and ran off towards the Whomping Willow. I stood there for a few moments, catching my breath, before I ran after James.

The moon was already up. Remus was in his werewolf form by now. The Whomping Willow was frozen by the time I approached it. I raced inside. I heard James yelling at Snape.

"Snape!" he shouted, "Turn around! Get out of here! Go!" I heard hurried footsteps coming my way. Snape passed me first. His face was pale, and he was sweating. He looked terrified. James was a few yard behind him. I knew that Remus couldn't get to me here, but I still ran after Snape and James.

They were just outside of the reach of the Whomping Willow's branches, but I could hear what they were shouting at each other. From where I was standing, they just looked like two shadows. I quickly joined them before the Whomping Willow woke up again.

"He's a filthy, rotten bloody werewolf!" Snape was shouting, "And you lot who thought it would be funny for me to get killed by it are just as mental!"

"Hey, I saved your life, you git," James retorted, "But I'm starting to wish that I hadn't." Behind them, I saw Dumbledore walking towards us. Even though I couldn't see him very well, I knew that he was furious. His gait was quick. When he got closer, I could see that he wasn't smiling.

"You three," he said, sharply, "My office. Now." He turned on his heel and we followed him back to the castle. James and Snape didn't look at each other as we walked. It was way past curfew. The halls were deserted. The only creature that we saw on our walk was Mrs. Norris, the new caretaker's cat. We reached the two gargoyles that blocked the way to Dumbledore's office. I'd only been there once before - when I first arrived. I'd flooed in directly to his office. I didn't remember it too well. I wasn't really paying attention to my surroundings at the time.

When we reached his office, I saw four chairs sitting in front of his desk. In one of them sat Sirius. He didn't look at us as we walked in. The three of us sat in the other chairs. Snape sat on the chair farthest from Sirius. I sat next to Sirius. James sat in the middle. Dumbledore slowly took his seat behind his desk.

"A few minutes ago," Dumbledore began, "Sirius here came up to my office. He told me that he'd done something horrible. He said that he'd tricked Mr. Snape into finding the way into the Shrieking Shack tonight where he would meet a werewolf. He said that Mr. Potter would try to stop him, but he doubted that that would be the end of it. You see, Sirius didn't want Mr. Lupin to be kicked out for what Sirius did."

"Sir," Sirius said quietly, "I was stupid. I ... I was angry. I made a mistake." Dumbledore held up a hand to silence him. Sirius looked down at his hands. "Please don't expel me, Professor."

"No, no, no," Dumbledore said, shaking his head, "I'm not going to expel you, Sirius. Had Ms. Johnson not found out about what you did, and had Mr. Snape been injured or killed, there is no doubt in my mind. You would be expelled. Along with Mr. Lupin, though that would not be my decision."

"You let a _werewolf_ attend Hogwarts?" Snape sneered, "And you would let it stay, even if it killed me?"

"Mr. Lupin," Dumbledore said quietly, "Would not have been the one to kill you. The blame for that would remain with Sirius. But, as a matter of fact, you did not die tonight. You are now one of the few people in this castle who knows this secret. I've brought you here to make sure it remains a secret."

"You expect _me_ to keep your secret, even when it could've killed me?" Snape asked incredulously.

"Yes," Dumbledore replied calmly, "Because if you don't, you will be expelled as well. You can claim that you were acting in the best interests of the student body, or whatever you like. The case will remain that you deliberately disobeyed the Headmaster's orders. You will be expelled. As I see it, you have two choices. You may choose to speak out against Mr. Lupin, have him expelled, and get yourself expelled as well. Or you may keep our silence and remain here until yo graduate. The choice is yours."

"If I may, Professor," I said quietly, "Does Remus have to find out about this? He would be devastated. He would blame himself for this rather than Sirius, who really deserves the blame."

"Let him," Snape sneered again. I turned on Snape, glaring at him.

"Don't speak unless you know what you're talking about, Snivellus," I said, my voice shaking.

"Yes, because you're such an unbiased observer," he replied sarcastically, "He's your _boyfriend. _I think that you know the least about werewolves than any of us." My eyes filled with tears.

"I have more reason that any of you," I spat, "To hate Remus. But I don't. My best friend was killed by werewolves, you insensitive git, and I'm able to be his friend! But you, who have no right to hate him, refuse to keep his secret."

"I never said I refused," Snape said, and then he turned to Dumbledore, "I will keep your secret. But it won't be because I want to. I won't be expelled, Professor. That's the only reason that I will accept your demands."

Dumbledore nodded. He seemed pleased. "And as for your question, Ms. Johnson, I'm afraid that we must tell Mr. Lupin what transpired tonight. It wouldn't be fair to keep it from him."


	15. Sixth Year

The next morning, I woke up at 2:00. I wasn't tired. I couldn't go back to sleep. While there was a curfew, there was never a time that one had to be in their dormitories _until_. So, I walked out of the Common Room, and down into the dungeons. I knew that Severus worked on his potions late into the night. He'd let it slip once while we were working on homework together back in fourth year. I quietly made my way down the stairs to one of the unused classrooms near Professor Slughorn's classroom. While I _technically_ wasn't breaking any rules, I was sure that I'd be sent back up to my dormitory if I was caught.

I opened the door to the unused classroom, and I saw Severus sitting next to a smoking cauldron, furiously writing notes in his potions book. He didn't notice that I was there until I shut the door behind me. He swung around to see who it was. When he saw me, all he said was: "Oh, it's you."

"Yeah, it's me," I said quietly, sitting on the floor a couple of feet away from him. "I just wanted to apologize on Sirius's behalf. I'm sure that he didn't want to kill you. He just wanted to give you a good scare. And above all, I just wanted to make sure that you weren't going to blame Remus for any of this."

"Why not?" Severus sneered, "He was the werewolf, wasn't he?"

"Yes, but that's not exactly his fault, is it? Unless you want to tell me that he _wanted_ to get bitten?"

"No, that's not ..." Severus hesitated, and changed the subject slightly, "Back in Dumbledore's office," he said, "You said that your best friend was killed by werewolves. Is that why you came here?" For all of his faults, Severus was definitely perceptive.

"Yeah," I replied, not meeting his gaze, "It hurt too much to walk those same hallways, and realize that she wasn't going to walk them with me."

"Did Greyback kill her?"

"What?" I said, "No, I was in America. Greyback only attacks in England."

"Well, he's made it to Ireland a few times, and I've heard of him attacking in France, but never America."

"It was a gang," I whispered, "She and her sister were camping in the woods. When her sister hugged me at the funeral ... I saw it all. It's a form of Occlumency. I don't know if you've heard of it." Severus shook his head. "It's not important. But it's been haunting my nightmares ever since." I swallowed. Severus had stopped working on his potion. He was looking right at me. "It was really late at night. It was maybe a half-hour to sunrise. The pack came into the clearing where Artemis and her sister were camping. They woke up because of the howling. They ran, but the werewolves were faster. Her sister found a tree, and climbed up. Artemis couldn't reach. They ... as they tore her body apart, the sun rose. The werewolves turned into boys. They couldn't have been older than sixteen. They saw what they had done, and they saw Aradia perched in the tree, crying, shaking. One stayed behind. I can see his face in Aradia's mind. It's so clear. He looked up at Aradia as the others ran off. He called 'I'm sorry' to her, very softly. She barely heard it at all."

"But you're still friends with Lupin? Why?"

"Because I love him," I said simply, "It doesn't matter what happened to him when he was little. Most of the time, he's just a normal guy - just with really good hearing." I smiled. "I love him, so I don't care." For a few minutes, the two of us were silent.

"Do you think that Lily will ever forgive me?" he asked quietly. I sighed.

"No, I don't think she will," I said honestly, "I don't think you understand what she went through in order to stay friends with you. It took a toll on her, but she didn't care because you guys were friends. She wasn't willing to give that up - no matter how hard it made life. But, that day back in fifth year showed her that she'd done all of that for nothing. She'd suffered like she did, and all she got was a friend who would always judge her because of her parentage. She also holds grudges for a long time."

"Well, I should get back to my potion," Severus said, after a moment's hesitation.

"Are you sure you'll be okay?" I asked quietly.

"Yeah," he replied. By that time, it was almost 5. The sun was up. I knew that Remus would probably be in the Hospital Wing by now, so that was where I walked. By now, more people were awake. I passed a couple of teachers on the way. None of them pulled me aside. I could only guess that Dumbledore hadn't told them what had happened last night. Maybe that was for the best. I didn't know how much they did or didn't want Remus to come to Hogwarts.

While I was on my way to talk to Remus, Severus was still in the unused classroom. When I left, Regulus Black came in.

"Snape," Regulus sneered.

"Black," Snape nodded.

"The Dark Lord is waiting for you. Your initiation is this afternoon."

"You traitor," hissed Snape. Regulus's face whitened.

"How-"

"It's called Legilimency, you traitor. You're going to desert, aren't you? You're chickening out, aren't you?" Regulus's jaw was set. He didn't reply. Snape slammed him up against the wall. "But don't worry," he said, sneering, "I won't turn you in. The Dark Lord won't have to know that I let you go. Leave. Now." Snape released Regulus, and Regulus ran out of the classroom. Severus sighed and shook his head.

"Why did I get in to this?" he muttered to himself, "Why did all of this happen?" He looked down at his potions book. It was completely covered in his handwriting. There were notes on spells he'd created, potions that he'd improved, ideas that he'd had. It was because of those spells, that dark magic, that he'd gotten where he was. He realized that. He raised his wand to destroy the book, to set fire to it. Something. But he couldn't do it. The book may have held a dark part of him, but it still held a part of him. He couldn't destroy it. He picked it up and placed it in the cupboard at the back of the unused classroom. He hoped that nobody would find it.

From then on, there was no regret. He knew that he would never be able to destroy the piece of himself that thirsted for power.

When I got to the Hospital Wing, I found Remus's bed immediately. It was the one with the curtains drawn. It always was. Madam Pomfrey was standing by his bedside table. She looked up as I walked in.

"Oh, its you," she said, nodding, "You can come over if you want."

"How is he?" I asked apprehensively. He hadn't been on his own during a full moon since November of fifth year. He hadn't had any really rough transformations since then. He'd been all alone this time. The rest of us had been in Dumbledore's office with Snape.

"Not so great," she replied, "But he's been worse, I'm sure. He'll be off to class by lunchtime, probably. That's not too shabby." Since we'd become Animagi, Remus had been able to get out before classes the day after. He hadn't had to miss anything. He hated missing classes.

"Can I talk to him once you're done? It's really important," I said. She nodded. She finished applying the last bandage and walked away, leaving me free to sit on Remus's bed next to him and draw the curtains shut. Remus was awake.

"What happened last night, Sabs?" he asked quietly, "Why weren't you guys there?"

"Remus, there's something you have to know," I replied, "I didn't want to tell you. I knew you'd just go blaming yourself, but Dumbledore said that I had to." Remus looked scared. He was expecting the worst. "It's not that bad," I said, eying the look on his face. "Sirius - he told Snape how to get into the Shrieking Shack last night. They'd got into a fight, and Sirius wanted to get revenge or something. He touched my shoulder. I found out. I ran down to the Quidditch pitch to tell James. We caught him just in time, but he saw you. Sirius went to find Dumbledore when he found out that James and I were going to stop Snape. He called us to his office and made Snape promise to not tell anyone."

"And you wanted to keep this from me?" he asked quietly.

"Remus, you blame yourself for everything. You coming that close to killing Snape - I thought that you'd be devastated. I wanted to protect you."

"You should go to breakfast," he said sharply. He wasn't looking at me, though. He was looking at his sheets. I glanced up and saw Sirius standing right next to the bed. He'd drawn the curtain just enough to stand next to the bed. I hadn't heard him come in, but I was sure that with Remus, with his werewolf hearing, had.

"Moony, I'm sorry," Sirius said pleadingly, "You don't understand how sorry I am about everything that happened last night. I was out of line. I get that. But nothing happened. You didn't do anything. It was fine."

"It was a close call," Remus said, still looking at his sheets, "We can't risk that. We've risked so much already. When you guys let me out of the Shrieking Shack and expected to be able to control me all night ... well, it's a good thing the sun rose when it did. This is too much. You need to stop acting like a little kid, Sirius. This is serious. We can't ignore the fact that everything that happens during the full moon is permanent - even more so than during the rest of the month. You know the muggle saying that time heals all wounds? Well, it doesn't heal werewolf bites." He pulled the neckline of his shirt away from his neck, revealing a deep bite mark.

"It doesn't go away, Sirius. Did you honestly want _Snape_ to have a matching one? Did you want another Greyback loose? Just go to breakfast, Sirius. You too, Sabs. Just let me sleep." We did what Remus told us to. Sirius was uncharacteristically quiet during breakfast and during our morning classes.

"Did something happen last night?" Georgia asked him during Potions class. "You seem upset." Sirius just shook his head.

"It's nothing," he said, "Don't worry about it." And, things went back to normal, kind of. Remus didn't look at Sirius for the whole week. I admit, he had a good reason for it. But, time does heal most wounds. By the time the week was up, they were friends again.

"It's just," Remus confided in me one night at around 4, "I've been rejected so many times before because of the whole I'm-a-werewolf thing. I guess I haven't told you about that, have I?" he asked sheepishly. We were sitting on the couch in the Common Room, his head in my lap.

"No, you haven't," I replied, "You haven't told me a lot of things. Like how Greyback's your brother." Remus just shrugged.

"Lia told you that, didn't she? She's no good at keeping secrets, is she? But that's not such a big deal to me. It just is to other people. He ran away before I was born. He came back when I wasn't even in primary school. All I really met were his claws and his teeth. Besides, Fenrir was my brother. Not Greyback. He was Fenrir before he became Greyback. I'm not ashamed of it. I know that had things been different, Fenrir could have turned out to be a perfectly nice kid. He just ... got dealt a bad hand. Same as me. Greyback dealt with it the wrong way. He stopped being my brother and he started being the werewolf that bit me."

"I guess that kind of makes sense. What were you saying about getting rejected?" Remus smiled sadly.

"It's not a great story. I was eight at the time. I lived in a wizarding community, Godric's Hollow, I think, with my aunt. We didn't know the Potters, though. Godric's Hollow is pretty big. They lived on the other side. Anyway, I had this one friend, named Amelia. She's Amelia Bones, actually, the fifth year Hufflepuff. Anyway, we were really close. We'd been friends ever since I moved to Godric's Hollow wit my aunt when I was five and she realized that her house wasn't suitable for a young werewolf. But I told her that I was a werewolf when I was eight years old. She told her parents and they freaked. My aunt and I were forced to move out of there.

"That was the most recent time that it happened. It happened on a smaller scale when I was four, newly bitten, and in a muggle neighborhood. I told my friend Tom, and he freaked out, even though he was a muggle. He didn't tell anyone, but he never talked to me again. After Amelia got the whole neighborhood against me, I stopped telling people, even my closest friends. You know the mugle saying: Those who mind don't matter, and those two matter don't mind? Well, it wasn't true. Everyone minded. Everyone mattered. When James, Sirius, and Pete found out, I said to myself, _Remus, this is the end. You're done. You didn't even make it through the year. It was good while it lasted_. I couldn't believe that they didn't mind. And then, they made me tell you. I tried to convince myself that you weren't going to care, just like the three of them didn't. But, you did."

"I'm sorry, Remus," I said for the hundredth time, "I can't say it enough."

"It's okay. I don't blame you. No matter how you felt about me, you didn't tell anyone, and I'm grateful for that."

And that was sixth year. I stayed with James and Sirius again for my last summer. James's parents seemed glad to have us. A few weeks into the vacation, Remus and Pete joined us. A few weeks after that, so did Rose and Lily.

Don't take this the wrong way. Lily still hated James. She just didn't hate him _so_ much. Besides, Rose wanted to hang out with me, and I was at James's house. Rose and Lily had already turned seventeen, so they were free to do whatever magic they wanted. That was especially good for Rose. While she still had to exercise _some_ self-control, she didn't have to worry about an owl from the ministry showing up if the levitated a table by accident. Not that owls ever came because of that. It was just nice to know that they would never come.

When seventh year rolled around, Remus asked me out on a date to Hogsmeade. It wasn't a big deal for us. After all, we'd kissed countless times. We were already an official couple. What it did deal, however, was that Lily would have to go on a date with James.

It wasn't as easy as it had sounded back in fourth year. Back then, it just would've meant agreeing the next time James asked her out, and pretend that it was just because he was annoying her too much. But by seventh year, James had stopped asking her out. She would have to do the asking.

And she did. During Potions one day, she asked James if he wanted to work with her. I was at the other side of the room. I tried to distract Severus. I knew that, as 'fine' as he might be with Lily hating his guts, he would be considerably less than fine about her asking out James Potter. I couldn't hear her, and neither could Severus, but Lily told me that she asked James out as he was adding a drop of mandrake juice to the potion.

I should've known. Nobody remembers how they asked someone out so precisely unless they actually love them. I should've known that Lily and James would be together, in the end.


	16. The Battle of Equals

Time passes, and our school days eventually came to a close. It was strange. For all those years I'd been independent. I hadn't had a choice. But, this time, I actually felt it. I was ready. I was able to be an independent adult. Nobody's ready for that when they're thirteen.

The four boys and I decided to become aurors. While I'd always dreamed of being a teacher, I decided to undergo auror training with them. After all, I could always become a teacher later. Auror training would be best if I took it with my four closest friends. It lasted two whole years. It was two years of brutal training under the Auror Moody. I'd never met such a harsh person before in my life.

"Hey Sabs," Sirius called, jogging up to my side, "Today's the day. Aurors at last." We had just flooed into the Ministry that Monday morning. We'd spent all weekend celebrating the fact that, pass or fail, we'd finished Auror training.

"Assuming we passed the test," I reminded him.

"Details," he replied, brushing it off. "And I've got great news."

"What?"

"James and Lily," he said, trying, and failing, to hide a grin.

"No!" I gasped. He nodded.

"He did it. Last night, once they got back to James's place after we finished partying. They haven't set a date yet, but they're engaged." I leaped up and hugged Sirius around the neck. Sirius stumbled back a little, and patted my back. He never was good at the whole hugging thing. It wasn't as if his family hugged him very often. Judging by the overall feeling I got from Sirius's cousins, I doubted that there would be much hugging, even if he got into Slytherin.

"That's incredible," I breathed once I released him. The two of us headed up to the main auror office together. My good mood, however, was immediately broken when I entered. James voice was radiating from the office.

With a wary glance at Sirius, I pushed the door open. James was towering over the Head of Auror Admissions. I glanced over at the paper tacked on the wall to read enough of what was going on. Sirius did too, and I saw his face whiten.

"What's wrong with you?" James was shouting, "You wrote on that paper that Remus got the best score out of all of us! And yet, he's the one who doesn't pass?"

"Mister Potter," the man stuttered. He was sweating like a pig. And who wouldn't? James was scary when he was mad. I'd only ever seen him this angry at anybody when Sirius had told Snape how to get into the Shrieking Shack. "You must understand. We take more into consideration than just these tests."

"Yeah? Where did he fail? The field tests? No. He always got the most points. The health inspection?" James asked a little quieter. It was when he was the quietest that he was the most dangerous. His jaw was set. His eyes were deadly. I sure as hell was glad I wasn't the short little bald man.

"We…we don't…well…" the man faltered. James rose his eyebrows.

"You don't accept werewolves?" I heard movement behind me and saw Remus. He knew in an instant that it was about him. I reached back to hold his hand. He didn't look scared. He didn't look angry. He looked resigned.

"Well, yes." James had grabbed the man by the collar of his robes, and pulled him so that he was a good two inches off of his chair.

"Well, you just lost four other aurors." The man collapsed in his chair as James stormed out. Sirius, Peter, Remus and I followed him.

"James," Remus said, "You really didn't have to do that. That wasn't your job. You could've just said 'okay' and not worried about me. We knew that this would happen."

"Yeah, I did have to. When are you going to accept that you have friends? Honestly, it's not just a word people throw around. We actually mean it. And if being your friend means giving up my dream job, so be it. And to think that I was in a really good mood this morning."

"I heard," I said, forcing a smile, "Congratulations."

'They got engaged?' Remus mouthed at me. I nodded. He smiled slightly.

"Well, that's it for the ministry. What do you want to try next?" Sirius asked. We all walked out quietly. We hadn't really thought what we'd do if we didn't get it. Although Remus had figured that he wouldn't have passed because of his lycanthropy, the rest of us hadn't realized it. We were all in the Order now that the war had started heating up. Rose and Lily were, too. Kylee, Rose's friend from Morgan's, wasn't, though. She'd decided to become a Healer at St. Mungo's. While Lia had actually made the same decision, she'd decided to join the Order as well.

"Well, I always wanted to be a teacher," I suggested.

"Sirius and I could take over Zonko's. The owners have got to be about ninety by now," James added.

"What about you, Remus?" I asked. By this time, we were in my apartment. It was where we usually congregated. Remus couldn't afford a house, so he stayed with me. It was one of those majority rules things. Since two of s lived in my apartment, the everyone else came there to hang out.

Remus rested his head on his hands and shrugged. " I don't know," he replied. "To tell the truth, I didn't expect to get the job. Just a dream. I'll figure something out. Don't you guys worry about me." Remus put on a brave face, and promptly changed the subject.

"We have a meeting tomorrow, right?" he asked.

"Yeah," Sirius replied, sitting next to him on the couch. "Minnie said something about a Death Eater hideout." That was what we were usually doing, though. We would attempt to find large numbers of Death Eaters, and kill them. It didn't usually work, though. There were so many of them. But it was our best bet.

The next morning, four of us headed to the Order's headquarters, which was located at James's house. His parents had given him a good bit of money when he graduated, so he'd bought himself a house in Godric's Hollow when his parents retired to Florida. It wasn't a particularly common place for English witches and wizards to retire to, but James had told them to go far away when they retired. He didn't want them to be anywhere near the war. They'd respected his wishes, and moved to Florida.

James greeted us at the door, and we walked in. Most of the Order was sitting at the huge circular table in James's kitchen. That was the only time that his kitchen got any use that all. James didn't cook.

"Good," Dumbledore said, nodding as we walked in, "We can start. We have intelligence that there's a Death Eater hideout in the caves off the coast of Dragon's Isle. Now, it's Unplottable, but I believe that we know enough to get it to work, anyway. See, Rose ran into a Death Eater in Knockturn Alley and got the information for us."

"Rose!" Lily exclaimed, "What were you doing in Knockturn Alley?" Rose just shrugged. The ability to use her excess magic on Death Eaters was doing a world of good for her. She hardly ever performed accidental magic anymore.

"I was looking for a fight," she said calmly, "We haven't had any new information in weeks, Lils." She then addressed the group at large. "I found Avery in a back alley. We got to dueling. I Vanished his wand, but it was only a temporary spell. I grabbed him by the shoulders, and I found out about the caves. I saw a whole map of them in his mind. It's one of the biggest Death Eater rallying points. But, he got his wand back and Apparated before I could kill him."

"You should've killed him first," Sirius said. Rose just shrugged. She had no temper nowadays.

"Maybe, but he isn't one of the big guns. Had it been a Lestrange or Mulciber, yeah. They'd be dead. But the information is more important than a pawn like Avery."

By the time that the meeting had ended, we'd decided that we'd stage our attack on the caves that Friday. We were going to meet the next day, and on Thursday, to plan our attack. Remus and I headed back to our apartment. While Remus didn't have a job (one of the many downsides to being a werewolf - it didn't just apply for being an auror), I got a job at Flourish and Blotts. It wasn't come huge job, but it paid the bills while I fought Death Eaters.

A few days later, it was Friday, and it was time for one of our biggest battles. In a perfect world, we'd be doing guerilla warfare, I guess. But the Death Eaters were able to get backup much faster than we were, so we always lost.

There were three entrances to the caves on Dragon's Isle. We figured that we'd split up into two groups - maximum Death-Eater-killing potential, with less likelihood of being outnumbered at specific spots. We all Apparated onto the island. We split up into our two groups. I was in a group that included Remus and Rose, so I was pretty confident about the likelihood of coming out of that battle alive. Rose's dueling skills were not to be underestimated.

Rose led our group to one of the entrances to the caves. She entered first. Lucius Malfoy was standing at the entrance. Silently, Rose shot a Stunning Spell at him, and grasped his shoulder. I saw her eyes widen and her face whiten. She hurried back to where the rest of us were standing.

"He's here," she whispered urgently, "Voldemort's here."

And all around us were explosions. Within an instant, there were countless Death Eaters. I found myself dueling with Bellatrix Lestrange. Over her shoulder, I saw the most incredible sight that I'd ever seen.

The other group, which included Dumbledore, wasn't anywhere nearby. I figured that all of the Death Eaters had come to this entrance instead of the entrance that the other group had reached. Dumbledore wasn't there to fight Voldemort. Rose was doing that.

I'd never seen such a battle before. The rest of us were mostly stunned into watching them fight. It was so amazing. Voldemort shot huge columns of flame at Rose. Rose held up her hand, palm facing Voldemort, and a tsunami seemed to rise up out of the floor, douse the flames, and kept growing until it crashed over Voldemort's head. When the water subsided, we saw that he was still alive. He'd saved himself by surrounding himself with a transparent bubble.

And the fight went on. For what felt like hours, they didn't seem to be getting anywhere. They were so evenly matched. But then, the pace quickened. I couldn't see what each of them was doing. Spells were blocked before they were cast. Rose and Voldemort moved so quickly, it was like a dance. Before I knew what was happening, Voldemort was tied up in ropes. Rose was so close to him. She was about to grasp his shoulder, when ... he Disapparated. He was gone.

The fight went downhill from there. Nobody on our side died (it really was a miracle, I know), and only a couple of minor Death Eaters did. I found out later that when the other group had heard the fight, they'd tried to find us, and they'd gotten lost in the tunnels. Maybe if we'd been all together, we would've won. Maybe the war would've been over. Nobody else would've needed to die. But as it happened, we didn't win. The war continued to rage.


	17. Wedding and Halloween

We woke up extremely early the day of the wedding. It started at ten. We were up at six. For four hours, we got Lily ready. Except Georgia. Girly stuff wasn't exactly Georgia's strong suite. We let Georgia snore while we helped get Lily ready for the big day.

Lily had flat-out refused to have a big wedding. She wanted Sirius to film the speeches and for him to take a few pictures, but that was it. No slideshow. No professional photographers. Rose was the florist. She'd said that the middle of a war wasn't the time for extravagant weddings. It was just time for love, and that was all that she cared about.

The wedding passed in a breeze. Rose was crying. James was trying really hard not to laugh at her. Georgia and Sirius were sitting so close together that they were almost on top of each other. Lia, Kylee, and Alice all sat together. Frank and Peter were off on a mission for the Order.

When the wedding was over, and it was time for the reception, Rose and Remus began comparing notes for their speeches. Rose would go first. Sirius thought that Lily and Rose should change clothes after the wedding, and Lily should read the speech, but Lily had just rolled her eyes.

"Sirius," Lily said, "I'm the one getting married. I think that this time, Rose and I shouldn't be switching places. Besides, how would I explain getting a haircut in between the ceremony and the reception? I'm sorry, Sirius, but it isn't going to happen."

"Good afternoon, everyone," Rose said, as she began her speech. Everyone was silent. Very few people at the wedding had ever even seen Rose. "I'm Rose, Lily's twin sister." She cleared her throat. "I thought that I'd share two little memories with you guys. The first one is from second year. During Christmas Break, Lily and I decided to switch places for a week. I'd always wanted to go to Hogwarts. During my week at Hogwarts, I must've gotten asked out by James at least ten times. I kept turning him down. That's what Lily had told me to do. But he kept asking.

"I think that James knew all along that he and Lily belonged together, even if he couldn't tell who was Lily and who was me. The other memory that I'd like to share is from three weeks ago. I was staying with Lily and James for a few days. I woke up one morning, at around five. I walked downstairs for breakfast, where I saw Lily and James, sitting at the breakfast table. I threw on James's invisibility cloak so that they wouldn't notice me.

"Lily was reading the newspaper, when she spilled her cup of hot coffee all over herself. Without even looking up, James immediately dried her off with a flick of his wand. I knew then that they were meant to be together. They were so tuned in to what the other was thinking and feeling. So," she said, raising her glass, "This is to a match made in heaven. To Lily and James."

There was a round of applause as Rose gave Lily and James hugs and sat down. The applause died when Remus cleared his throat for the next speech. When Remus spoke, he was quiet, and the people there had to strain to hear his voice, but there wasn't a single voice in the room besides his.

"I've known James Potter since I was eleven," he began, "And I was there when he first met Lily. I think he asked her out on the first day of school. Subtlety, as with most eleven-year-old boys, was not James's forte. She turned him down. She kept turning him down, until, in sixth year, he stopped asking. Sirius, Pete, and I thought that that was the end of it. We thought that James would just move on, as teenage boys do. He didn't.

"In seventh year, to all of our surprise - even James, though he won't admit it - Lily asked James out. I remember sitting in the Three Broomsticks - not during a Hogsmeade weekend, of course. What's the fun in that? - on a double date, when Lily leaned over, and put her head on James's shoulder. When I saw that, I knew that we would soon be here. I knew that we would end up being at James and Lily's wedding."

As soon as he was done, Remus came and sat down next to me.

"That was beautiful," I whispered in his ear.

"You really think so? I wrote it last night." He showed he the paper that he had reading off of.

"What are those?" I asked him. In some places, there were lines coming off of the letters that he had been writing.

"Those? James and Sirius kept hitting each other, and me, with pillows. No biggie." I smiled. I could clearly see James and Sirius being their insane selves while Remus sat and worked quietly.

While everyone was talking, laughing, and enjoying themselves, Remus and I saw someone else walk through the doorway. She was tall. She had a long neck. Her hair was a light brown. It was Petunia Evans. She was in there alone. Remus looked at me, and I nodded. We got up, and walked towards her.

"Good afternoon, Petunia," Remus said. Petunia flinched a little, but she nodded.

"Does Lily know that you're here?" Petunia shook her head.

"I just had to come," she said, hoarsely, "She invited me ... and she is ... my sister." I nodded, smiling sadly at her. "Even if her friends are freaks," she muttered. I grinned, and patted her on the shoulder.

"And some of us," I added, "Are freaks even to the wizarding community."

"Sabrina!" Remus exclaimed, but he was smiling.

"Do you want me to tell Lily that you're here?" I asked Petunia.

"I think she already knows," Petunia whispered, looking over my shoulder. Remus and I turned around, and we saw Lily standing there, in her beautiful white wedding dress, smiling at Petunia. She walked over to us, and embraced Petunia in a full hug.

"I'm so glad you came," she whispered in Petunia's ear, "It means the world to me." Neither of them knew that they'd never see each other again.

We invited Petunia to sit with us - we didn't want Sirius to freak her out too much. She didn't say much the whole time, but we knew that she was glad to be at her sister's wedding. I saw Rose glance over at her, but she didn't smile. There was too much bitterness between Rose and Petunia. It was almost as cold as the relationship between Snape and James, which hadn't gotten better when James and Lily had started dating.

A couple weeks after the wedding, we began to lose. We were going downhill. The Death Eaters had a new, very effective, tactic. They began to pick us off, one by one. Our numbers began to dwindle. Bellatrix broke into Alice and Frank Longbottom's house. She would've killed them and their baby if the rest of us hadn't been contacted for help.

Frank and Alice were never the same again. Lily and James had a son, too. The same day as Alice and Frank. They named him Harry. Harry Potter. Remus, Sirius and I would call on the Potter's often, looking forward to seeing how much Harry had grown.

But that wasn't possible for very long. They were Voldemort's next targets, they knew. They went into hiding, and Remus and I had to stop visiting. I didn't know who their secret-keeper was. Everyone was in the dark those days.

I remember that night very well. The night when everything changed. It was the night when, after seven years, I was forced back into my bubble. The night that Lily and James died.

When I was told the news about two of my best friends, I didn't believe it at first. I'd been sitting in my apartment (Remus was working for the Order on something - I don't know what) when Sirius came barging in. He was crying, and his long hair was a tangled mess.

"Lily ..." he panted, "James ... Voldemort ... dead." That was all he could get out, but it was enough to tell me what was going on.

I rushed to Godric's Hollow, and found the devastating rubble that was the house where Lily Evans and James Potter had lived happily and peacefully in for almost two years. Their son, Harry Potter, had also lived there, but I didn't know where he was. Muggles were crowding around, but soon dispersed, for there was nothing the police could do. They didn't search the house of my best friends; they didn't see or hear a little baby whimpering softly from beneath the rubble- but I did.

I couldn't breath, the world, the trees were crowding in on me. The world was spinning around me, and I collapsed towards the last of the Potters, just a little baby. I held him tightly, as I had seen Lily do thousands of times before. She had been so proud of her only son. Holding Harry, I knelt on the ground, sobbing while rocking Harry back and forth, trying to keep him from knowing the magnitude of this atrocity.

A cold sweaty hand grabbed my shoulder, a hand that I knew well. I spun around, and saw Remus Lupin's tear-stained face looking at me, his face as hard as stone.

"Remus," I sobbed. I couldn't get another word out of my mouth. He helped me to my feet and brushed the tears from my eyes. Standing next to me was my best friend in the world, trying to comfort me. We'd gotten engaged only a few weeks earlier. And it was all over.

"Sabrina, it's okay," he said quietly. We both knew that it was anything but okay, but he led me to a bench near the rubble that used to be a warm, comforting place with two of my best friends. Huge hands pried the little sleeping baby out of my arms, and his eyes fluttered open instantly. The last remnant of two people who had made a difference in my life was a little baby.

I looked up, and I saw another familiar face- Hagrid's. Sirius Black was running toward us, his cloak and hair wind-swept and reminding me of James.

"Hagrid, let me take him. He's my godson," Sirius told Hagrid. Hagrid drew back, looking prouder than I'd ever seen him before, even through his tears. He wanted to do what James had entrusted him with. He wanted to be the one to raise James and Lily's son.

"I'm ter take 'im ter Dumbledore, like Dumbledore tol' me to do," said Hagrid. Sirius nodded hesitantly.

"Well, then, you might as well take my motorcycle with you. It'll speed up the journey a bit," suggested Sirius. Hagrid nodded, and pulled himself onto the motorcycle, and sped off, while Sirius took a look around, and apparated.

"Sabrina, you're alright, I promise," Remus whispered in my ear.

"How do you know?" I asked, my voice still shaking.

"Because you are, Sabs," he said quietly.

"I'm leaving," I said, "I can't stay here. It's all so real."

"I wish I could come with you," Remus whispered, "I wish that I could. Promise me you'll never forget me?"

"Never," I said so quietly, that I couldn't hear myself. But Remus heard me. It hurt me so much to have to leave Remus. But I tried to tell myself that it was for the best. I told myself that I needed to leave. I told myself that I couldn't survive if I stayed in the wizarding world.

And just like that, Remus let me go. He took his arm away from around my shoulder. He didn't cry. He didn't beg for me to stay. He just bit his lower lip, and let me go. And just like the night I'd first met him, I was grateful that he let me choose how I would live - even if he knew that it was a mistake. Even if he knew that it would hurt him for me to leave.

And, this part of my life I'll never forget, I did one thing before I left. I took out my wand, and the last act that it preformed before going into hibernation for years was to write on the only wall standing.

**On this spot, on the night of 31 October 1981, Lily and James Potter lost their lives. Their son, Harry, remains the only wizard to have survived the Killing Curse. This house, invisible to muggles, has been left in its ruined state as a monument to the Potters and as a reminder of the violence that tore apart their family. **

And, under that, I wrote, **Good luck, Harry, wherever you are. **Remus saw what I was doing, and followed my lead. With his wand, we wrote out: **If you read this, Harry, we're all behind you!** From behind me someone wrote **Long live Harry Potter**. When I looked back, I saw nothing but a glimpse of Lily Potter's long, red hair.

And then I walked away. If I had looked back, I would've seen Remus Lupin sobbing silently into his hands. But I didn't. I couldn't look back. I knew that my determination would waver. I needed to leave, and I couldn't let my love of Remus Lupin stop me.

A/N: All right, another jump in time. Be prepared for a couple more of those. As always, REVIEW!


	18. Letters Across the Ocean

A/N: This next chapter will cover around 17 years. Be prepared. And review.

Although I had left the wizarding world, I kept in contact with Remus. A while back, we had created communicating pieces of paper. Using those, we stayed in touch. Whenever we had free time in our hectic lives, we'd sit down and write. I moved back to America. The memories of Artemis and my mother had grown so faint, that it didn't hurt to be reminded of them. I couldn't be reminded of them. I didn't remember them. It was more painful for me to live in England. England held too many bad memories. The trouble was, it held many good ones, too.

So, every lunch break (I took late lunch breaks), I wrote to Remus. He'd just have finished with work for the day. I'd spend my whole break eating a sandwich over a piece of paper. I was holding on to the smallest memory of the good things that had happened to me. I knew that I couldn't pretend that those seven years of my life hadn't happened. They had. And I preferred to remember all of the wonderful things that had happened to me. I just knew that if I stayed in England, I wouldn't remember any of that. I'd only remember the death.

We wrote. And we wrote. Whenever I had a few minutes of free time, I'd write to Remus, just to see if we could talk. I lived for those moments, when it was just me, my pen, and Remus's words.

November, 1982

_I got a full-time job today. It'll be nice to have something to do. I'm going to be an English teacher at a muggle school here. You know I've always wanted to teach at Hogwarts. Well, this had better be close enough. I've got all sorts of plans for what to teach them. _

_**Sounds cool. I wish I was one of your students. What kind of plans do you have?**_

_You know how every teacher teaches the same, boring books?_

**_Umm, I only went to muggle school when I was really little. I don't remember much. But I believe you. _**

_Anyway, towards the end of the year, when everyone's attention span is shortening, I'll teach a popular book that most of them have read but I haven't. And we can discuss it. _

_**Man, that sounds better the McGonagall's class. Of course, Transfiguration was never my thing. **_

_Hey, I'd much rather teach them how to transform things. I loved that subject. But, I'd never teach at Hogwarts. I can't do magic. _

_**Why?**_

_If I remind myself of my life in the wizarding world too much, I'm afraid I'll want to go back. And I can't go back. I just know that one more thing - one more death - will push me off the deep end. This is my way of preventing depression. _

_**Oh. **_

_Ugh, I have to go. My first class starts in five minutes. Wish me luck!_

_**Good luck!**_

"Good morning, class," I called to the class, after stowing my paper in the top drawer of my desk. There was the last-minute scramble, as children tried to reach their seats before I singled them out as 'late.' Once they were seating, I took my seat on top of my desk.

"Good morning," I repeated, "We will start this year with the book 'To Kill a Mockingbird.' It's one of my favorites, and I hope that it will be one of your's as well. While I'm passing out the books, please write your name on the hand that you raise in class."

That class, a group of thirty freshmen, was my first class that I ever taught. Because of that, I guess that I remember them better than any of the other classes that I taught. As the years went by, I taught more and more classes. I wanted the same thing that I had wanted after Artemis died. I wanted to be constantly busy.

It also helped that it was sunny a lot of the time where I lived. In the sunshine, it was harder to remember the nights when Remus and I would just go outside, and run, our arms outstretched, completely free. It was harder to remember the feel of my rain-soaked shirt sticking to my skin as Remus would put his arms around me and kiss me. It was harder to remember the early mornings when we'd curl up on the couch in front of the Common Room fire, sipping tea and hot chocolate, hair soaked, but happy through and through.

Those memories, sure they were great. But those memories were full of regret. Regret that I didn't have those experiences now. Regret that so much had changed since then.

_**I've got some news for you,**_ Remus wrote in the beginning of August, 1990. I was sitting at my desk, eating a sandwich, hunched over the piece of paper.

_What?_

_**Harry's ten. He'll be going to Hogwarts in a little over a year. **_

_Wow. I feel old. _

_**Hey, I'm the same age as you are. **_

_Yeah, but you look it. I still look like I did when I was seventeen, right?_

_**Of course, sweetie, of course. **_

_How's the job hunt?_

_**I lost my job last week. You remember that girl, Dolores Umbridge, who you said went to Morgan's with you? Well, she's passed a bunch of legislations that allow employers access to werewolf records. So, it's harder to get a job in the first place. **_

_That sucks. So, are you looking for a new job?_

_**I'm trying, but it's so annoying. I'll have an interview, and they'll hire me. But before I can start, they fire me because they've done their background research. It's just so frustrating. And if they don't fire me before I start, they'll fire me within six months, when they realize that I'm a werewolf. My only possible employers are senile old ladies. **_

_Are there very many of those?_

_**Well, yes, but few of them own businesses. And even fewer are hiring. I just keep looking, hoping that I'll find something. I want to live in the wizarding world, but I just might have to work in the muggle world. We'll see. But how's your job going? You've held it for a while, now. Almost ten years. **_

_I'm loving it. It's so satisfying to know that I can make a difference in their lives. Teaching English is an incredible experience. I can teach them to understand ideas. It's a powerful tool, and I love it. It's as if... even though I don't have the magical power that I used to have, I still have the intellectual power, you know?_

_**Sure, that makes sense. You like knowing that the world isn't completely out of your control. **_

"Hey Ms. Johnson?" a girl's voice asked.

"Hey Annie," I replied, quickly hiding the paper, "What's up?" Annie was a quiet, sweet freshman who came to me after class if she had questions. She hated asking questions in front of the class. I let her know the first day that she did it that I was okay with it. I preferred that she ask me questions privately than just be confused.

"Hi," she replied, "I was a little confused about Antigone. Well, Ismene really. It just doesn't make sense."

"What doesn't make sense?"

"Ismene was afraid that they would get caught, so she didn't bury Polynices, right?"

"Right."

"But then she's willing to share the blame for something she didn't do. Isn't that hypocritical?"

"In my opinion - which means, of course, that it could be completely wrong - is that while she didn't want to get in trouble, she cared about her sister enough that she didn't want her sister to get in trouble. Polynices was already dead. Maybe Ismene didn't see the point of burying him because it was done. There was nothing that she could do. Burying him would only make a difference mentally. She might have thought that she could physically help Antigone."

"Okay."

"See you later."

_Sorry about that. A student had a question. _

_**No problem. You work a more full-time job than I do.**_

_Hey, that's not true. You're looking for jobs all of the time. My job is satisfying. You have to stick with it, even when it's not satisfying at all. _

June, 1993

_**Sabrina?**_

_Yeah?_

_**I got a job offer today.**_

_Great! Where?_

_**Hogwarts. **_

_Are you serious?_

_**Well, no DADA teacher has lasted more than a year there, have they? They needed a new teacher. **_

_That sounds incredible. _

_**So you think that I should take it?**_

_Of course. I would. _

_**Yes, but that's because you've always wanted to be a teacher. **_

_So?_

_**Teaching at Hogwarts is something that you'd want to do.**_

_But I can't, so you should._

_**Parents won't want me teaching their children.**_

_Who needs to tell them? _

_**Nobody, I guess. But, Sabrina?**_

_Yeah?_

_**I'll be teaching Harry Potter. I don't know if I can do that. **_

_Just treat him like any other kid. _

_**I don't know if I can stand to see him, to hear him. I'm afraid I'll just break down.**_

_Remus, it'll be fine. Trust me._

And, I don't know why, but a part of my was jealous of Remus. Sure, I knew that I could see Harry whenever I wanted. But, at the same time, I couldn't. I was jealous that Remus got to see the last remnant of Lily and James. I was jealous that he was strong enough.


	19. One Night Only

A/N: I thought that I'd add in this chapter. It doesn't exactly have Sabrina in it, but whatever.

A knock came on the door to Remus's new office. Remus rolled his eyes. He knew that knock. Sharp, businesslike. Professor McGonagall. Remus had moved in a week ago, on August 17th. There was nothing particularly special about the date. It had just been something he'd been looking forward to all summer.

"Come in," he called. He had been putting the finishing touches on his lesson plans, knowing that as soon as the class started, the lesson plans would never get accomplished. While he was still an insomniac, like me, he didn't have infinite amounts of time to work.

McGonagall walked in the door and sat down in the chair across from Remus. He looked up and raised his eyebrows.

"How are you?" she asked, "I haven't seen you in a while." She didn't say that she hadn't seen him since Lily and James died. Remus knew that that was what she meant. He forced a smile, and replied.

"I'm doing fine," he said, "I'm just figuring out my lesson plans."

"Remus, you know that that's not what I meant," McGonagall nudged, "You lost a bunch of your close friends. The only one that you have left is on the run from the law. I just want to make sure that you know that you always have us here at Hogwarts."

"Do you think that I'd try to contact Sirius because he's my only friend left?" McGonagall fidgeted. Remus knew that he'd guessed correctly. He sighed. "Look, Minerva," he said, "Sirius killed James, Lily, and Peter. Do you think that I'd ever want to be friends with him again?"

September 1993:

_**I saw Harry today.**_

_Really? How is he?_

_**Thin, but good. He looks just like James, with Lily's eyes. **_

_It's not like the eyes were a surprise. He's had those eyes since he was born. So what was your first class like?_

_**Good, we did boggarts. **_

_Ooh, fun. _

_**Yeah. I didn't let Harry have a turn, though. **_

_Why not?_

_**Isn't it obvious? Who would it turn into?**_

_Voldemort, right?_

_**Uh, yeah. **_

_Still, he's James' son. He won't appreciate that. _

October 31st, 1993:

_**Well, it's Halloween. **_

_Worst day of the year. All my students come in all happy because of the night's partying, and I'm the depressed one. _

_**See, I don't have to deal with that. They're all at Hogsmeade. Wait, I think I hear something. I'll get back to you in a couple of minutes. **_

"Harry?" Remus asked, looking around the door. "What're you doing? Where are Ron and Hermonie?"

"Hogsmeade."

"Ah." Remus thought for a minute. "Why don't you come in? I've ust taken a delivery of a grindylow for our next lesson."

"A what?" Remus walked back into my office and hid the piece of paper underneath a couple books. For a couple of minutes, they sat and talked. Remus told Harry what a grindylow was. Harry wanted to know why Remus didn't let him fight the dementor. Snape walked in with some wolfsbane potion.

_**Sorry, Harry was passing. **_

_That's fine. Anything interesting?_

_**Well, turns out he hates dementors more than Voldemort. **_

_Ugh, I'd take my chances with Voldemort any day than face one of those again. Remember in auror training, when Moody had me face those things over and over?_

_**How could I forget?**_

_Remember what I told him?_

_**You said that you'd rather face Voldemort himself than meet up with one of those in a dark alley. And Mad-Eye went into detail about how it's better to lose your soul that to die, because you can apparently still catch Death Eaters without a soul, when you can't catch them when you're dead. **_

_Man, he was so mad! Anything else?_

_**I'm really starting to hate wolfsbane potion. I mean, it's a love-hate relationship.**_

_What do you mean?_

_**I love it for the obvious reason, but it tastes horrible. It's like swallowing snails. **_

_Interesting analogy. _

_**My pleasure. **_

June, 1994:

_Remus, what's wrong? You seemed upset when I last talked to you? When was it, two days ago? _

_**Pretty much. I don't want to talk about it. **_

_Remus, if you don't tell me, I'll, I don't know, be mad?_

_**Fine, I almost killed Harry and his friends.**_

_How did you manage that?_

_**I saw Peter on the map. I followed him. Sabs, he's not dead. **_

_Really? Great!_

_**He's evil.**_

_Oh. Not so great. _

_**And Sirius never betrayed James. It was Peter, the whole time. And I forgot to take the potion. **_

_Oh lordie, lord. _

_**Snape was there. **_

_Man, this story just gets better and better. _

_**One of Harry's friends found out I was a werewolf, and she told Harry and Ron when I was there. **_

_What happened?_

_**Well, Harry was fine. I don't think he really knew what a werewolf was. But Ron…**_

_Didn't like it? What did he say?_

_**His exact words?**_

_His exact words. _

_**Get away from me, werewolf. **_

_Ouch. _

_**Yeah. **_

_Anything else that I wouldn't have figured out for myself?_

_**Nope. The rest is self-explanatory.**_

It was in the middle of June, fourteen years after I left my world, when I saw Remus again. I mean, I'd seen him a lot since. We'd had really incredible conversations. Of course, they were nothing compared to the conversations that we'd had back when we were kids. And I hadn't literally _seen_ him. We'd just talked.

But, in the middle of June, I found him on my doorstep. I lived in a small apartment in the center of a fairly large suburb. I didn't know that I'd even told him where I lived. I told him the state, and the town, and he probably guessed the country. But I don't know how he found me. It was probably some magic that he'd found, that I'd never bothered to look at.

That night, at around three in the morning, someone buzzed up. I asked who it was, but there was no reply. I wasn't too worried about people wishing me harm, so I buzzed the person up. There was nobody that I knew that would want to hurt me. Death Eaters would never find me. They concentrated on Europe. America fell by the wayside.

When nobody knocked on my door for a good few minutes, I figured that someone must have pressed the wrong button, so I went back to my desk to grade papers. But, no later than I'd started to work, I heard a knock on my door. I got up and opened the door.

Remus stood there, right in front of me. He was a mess. His clothes were ripped, burnt. He looked exhausted. The sole of one of his shoes had broken off. But it was more than that. Remus looked terrible. His eyes were red. There were tear-stains on his cheeks. His shoulders were hunched. He looked defeated.

He didn't say a word. I, against my better judgment, opened the door, and motioned for him to enter. He entered slowly, looking at the ground. I led him to the couch. He sat down wearily, and held his head in his hands. I left him there, while I made him a cup of hot chocolate.

While I made the chocolate, I didn't hear anything from where Remus was sitting. It was only when I began to spoon the chocolate mix into the cup that I noticed that my hands were shaking. I told myself to stop. I told myself that he wouldn't stay long. I told myself that it wouldn't hurt to have him near me. But my hands said otherwise.

I finished making the hot chocolate, and I carried it into the living room, where Remus was sitting on the couch. His head was still in his hands; he hadn't moved. I tapped him on the shoulder, and handed him the hot chocolate. He looked up when I tapped him, and he accepted the hot chocolate. But I couldn't help but notice that all of his movements were slow, as if he were moving through molasses. Everything seemed to take more effort for him to do.

"Thank you," he said softly, as he sipped the hot chocolate. I just nodded. I couldn't bring myself to speak. Having Remus in my apartment was a dream come true. The only thing was, I didn't know whether it was a dream or a nightmare.

"There was a battle today," he said quietly, as if he didn't remember that I'd asked him not to tell me anything. I didn't reply. "He's dead-"

"Don't say it," I said sharply. Then, after a moment's silence, I continued, softly. "I don't want to know who died. I can't." Remus didn't look at me. He just looked at his cup of chocolate.

"Okay," he whispered, "But Harry's still alive, if it makes you feel any better." And strangely enough, it did. It was good to know that there would still be a memory of Lily and James in the world, even if I didn't seem to care enough to help him.

Remus finished his hot chocolate soon afterwards, and asked me if I could sleep on the couch. I looked at his pitiful form, and offered him part of my bed. He accepted, and that night, he curled into bed beside me. I stayed awake for a few hours, just listening to his rhythmic breathing. I just laid there, wanting that moment to go on forever. Because in that moment, it was as if the war hadn't happened. It didn't matter that Remus was there because someone had died. It was as if nothing had changed since we'd shared an apartment back before Lily and James died.

I knew, though, that the person who'd died was Sirius. There wasn't anyone else whose death I thought could affect Remus that way. Neither of us had any close friends left in the wizarding world. All we had was each other.

When I woke up the next morning, Remus's arms were around me. I was content to just lay there and bury myself deeper into his chest. When he woke up, he whispered a quiet 'good morning' in my ear, and I smiled as I looked up at his face.

"Breakfast?" I asked him.

"I should probably get going," he replied, "I need to get back. I have work this morning." Part of me was sad to see him go. And sure enough, as he walked through the door tears began to fall out of my eyes. But Remus turned around, saw me, and came back. He hugged me, and held me while wiping the tears from my eyes.

"We'll see each other again," he promised me, "When you're ready to return." With that, he kissed me gently on the lips, turned, and left.

The letters continued for two more years. Remus rarely mentioned anything about the wizarding world. He knew I didn't like it when he did. He kept me updated with what went on with Harry's life.

In 1997, when Harry was seventeen, the war heated up again. I didn't get all the details – it was just mentioned in the passing. The letters stopped coming. I guess the war took up so much time, that Remus couldn't anymore. I got that. I missed him like hell, though.

A/N: There you are, another mostly dialogue chapter. We're getting to the deeper chapters next. Shouldn't take long for me to update them from now on. Please review! I'm still considering giving the chapters names. Tell me what you think! And this story is MOSTLY DH compatible. If Remus never died and never married Tonks, it is.


	20. The Visitor

A/N: Here is the next chapter. It's kind of just a copy from my previous versions of this story.

There was a knock on the door.

I knew that knock, but I couldn't place who its owner was. It felt like a memory from my distant past, something I'd tried to forget. It would be easier to forget it than to learn to live with it. I refused to remember anything but Remus. I couldn't forget him. But I'd managed to forget almost everything else. Things such as specific people's knocks had slipped my mind completely.

"Who is it?" I asked, suspiciously. If one of those people was back to bother me, I'd make them wish that they hadn't. Sure, writing to Remus was one thing, but someone coming to bug me was another. The one time that Remus had come to visit me was the one exception. He'd needed me. And... he was Remus. I wasn't able to turn him away.

"You know me, now open up," came the voice. I groaned. The stupid old lady. I'd called her 'Aunt' when I was younger, but now, she was as far removed from I was as the world I had left was.

Reluctantly, I walked over to the door, and opened it. She would've blasted down the door if I hadn't.

"What do you want?" I asked, coldly. I had convinced myself to do that if visitors from the wizarding world came to visit me. I knew that I had to put up a strong exterior, even if I was screaming on the inside.

"He's dying, Sabrina," the old lady half-whispered. Once I took a good look at her, I saw her bloodshot eyes and tear-stained face. He was dying. He. The boy who I loved. The boy whose heart I had broken countless times. The boy who was the only one to slightly understand me. Dying.

"What happened?" I demanded.

"My nephew," she choked, "He was in the Order of the Phoenix. So brave. There was a battle, and some Death Eater shot him with a curse. It wasn't the killing curse, because his heart's beating. But, there's nothing. He's weak. Nothing the Healers do is helping."

Was this the end? Were all of my friends doomed to die? I'd left my friends' world because of the death. Would they keep dying, and I wouldn't be able to help? I had to do something, or was it truly not my problem? No, they were my friends. I had to try to help. My head was spinning, I felt nauseous.

"Just, just give me a second," I muttered, and rushed back into the room, and slammed the door. Memories were flooding back, and I couldn't block them out, no matter how hard I tried. It was as if I was back at Morgan's, having my head broken into, the memories spilling out. It was one of the training programs there. We started Occlumency and Legilimency in first year. And we learned through our classmates breaking into our heads. That was what it felt like now. Only, all of the Occlumency in the world couldn't keep these memories out.

_I was standing in front of a middle-aged lady, being told that the girl who'd been like a sister to me had been killed… The fire behind her was flickering, and I stared at it, wishing that it could jump out of the furnace and swallow me with the logs that it consumed. _

_I was watching a boy half-run away from me, and I was feeling the guilt wash over me…_

_I was holding a baby in my arms, tears running down my face, staring at the remains of a house…_

_I was holding a newspaper in my hand, announcing a murder and an arrest… I threw it in the trashcan, refusing to read any more information that could break my heart. _

_I was talking to a blonde-haired boy, and telling him that I couldn't stay, not even for him…_

_I was hiding my wand underneath my mattress, and throwing out my old schoolbooks and wizarding clothes, and giving Hagrid my album of my time at Hogwarts to give James and Lily's son… I only gave it to him after magically erasing myself from all of the pictures. _

When I raised my head from my hands, my hands were wet from salty, bitter tears. How dare she? How dare she come back and ruin my perfectly good life?

"Sabrina, sweetie, open the door," Auntie insisted. Reluctantly, I opened it, and let her see my tears. I let her see the pain that she'd caused me.

"I was happy," I whispered, "I don't need to be brought back into that mess of a world."

"No, you were never happy outside of the world you belonged in," she said, softly. I looked up from my hands, defiantly.

"How can you say that?" I half-yelled, half-cried, "I didn't want to watch my friends, people I knew, murdered. Ignorance is bliss! Is that too much to ask?"

"But you kept your wand," she reminded me, "You kept your wand while you threw everything else away. You knew where you belonged." The stupid old hag. She knew everything.

"I kept it to remind myself of why I left!" I was almost shouting, now. "I kept it so I wouldn't want to come back! You try to bring me back, and look what news you've brought me! The news of Remus Lupin's death! That's not a world I want to be any part of."

"It's too late," she explained, "The moment you were told that you were a witch, there was no turning back."

"Don't I get a choice?"

"Not really."

"And another question. How could I help Remus any more than the Healers?"

"I don't know. It might help. I'll try anything for my nephew. Won't you try? You love him, right?"

"But I have work! I have a job, you know."

"Quit." She said it so simply, so matter-of-fact, that I listened to what she told me to do.

I got my stuff together and left. That way, I could leave as soon as Remus was better. If he got better.

I reached under my mattress and took my wand. I Apparated to St. Mungo's and walked inside.

I'd never seen the place so crowded. The lobby was crowded with people waiting for family members. I didn't even want to know what the upstairs looked like. When I got up to the person at the desk, I asked her where I would find Remus Lupin.

"Why can't you read the sign?" she asked, grumpily.

"I don't know which he'd be under," I replied.

"Spell damage," she replied, "I'm sorry I can't be more specific, but this place is so full that it's hard to keep track of them all."

I nodded weakly. St Mungo's? Full? That was impossible. It was huge. It couldn't be full. It just couldn't be. How big was the war, anyway? Why didn't I come back to help? I suddenly felt so guilty that I never helped. Was it partly my fault that St. Mungo's was full?

I walked up the stairs to the fourth floor. I didn't want to take the elevator, because I didn't want to see anyone I knew. I didn't want to have to talk with anyone.

When I got to the fourth floor, I started to search for him. I looked in the doors as I passed. There were mattresses spread out on the floor, and people were crowded in there. Most seemed to be sleeping. I tried to find Remus, but I couldn't. Then, I reached the end of the hall.

I peeked into the room, and saw around five beds, and four people sleeping on mattresses. Next to one of the beds was a table with a bunch of cards. The man sleeping there was all too familiar.

I rushed in, and nearly tripped over a mattress. I sat in a chair next to Remus, and looked at his peaceful face. A tear silently slid down my cheek. Remus shifted a little and his eyes fluttered open.

"Remus?"

"Is that you Sabrina?" he whispered. I reached out to hold his hand.

"Yeah, it's me, Remmy. What on earth happened to you?" He chuckled weakly. I sat on the edge of his bed and sat him up so he could actually talk to me.

"The war started up again. I got in a little fight."

"Little?"

"Okay, not so little." I smiled. I saw one of the Healers walking around, so I called her over.

"Hello, can I help you?" she asked.

"I was just wondering what information you could give me about him."

"Sabrina?" she asked, cocking her head sideways.

"Kylee?" It was Kylee. She hadn't changed at all from when I'd last seen her at Lily and James' wedding. She had been Rose's best friend. At one point, she'd been one of my close friends at Morgan's. I'd spent summers with her at Rose and Lily's house.

"I don't believe it. Where've you been these past years?"

"I left. Where's Rose?"

"She disappeared around the same time as you did."

"Oh. So do you have any information for me?"

"That's the problem. Nothing looks to be wrong, but he's so weak, there must be something wrong." Kylee's freckled face looked helpless. Biting her lip as I'd seen her do so often, she left.

"I missed you, Sabs," Remus whispered, so low that I could barely hear him. I forced back a tear, as I replied: "I missed you, too."

A/N: Oooh, quick update, right? Review!


	21. Alice's War

A/N: I know, I said that the updates would come more often. But I'm busy, busy, busy!

Day by day, Remus's health improved. Neither the Healers nor I could explain it. I would stay at St. Mungo's 24 hours a day, stopping at my old home to change and take showers. When Remus was sleeping, I'd talk to Kylee or other patients.

One was named Hannah Abbott. She had been a student at Hogwarts when the war had really heated up. She told me about the battle – how the seventh years were given a choice to stay or leave, how the younger students were told to leave, and how some snuck back in and died – and about herself. She was a Hufflepuff, and she decided to stay, and for her deed, she was stuck in St. Mungo's.

"You see," she told me once, "This ward's for people with mysterious dark magic cast upon them. The Healers don't know what's happened to us, so they just stick us in this ward." She showed me that her hands were chained to the bed. "Some Death Eater cast a spell, and as soon as my hands are free, I try to strangle myself. I don't know why or how, and neither do the Healers. So, I'm stuck here for a while. If I ever get out, it'll be in handcuffs."

I even got the chance to see Alice and Frank Longbottom. It scared me to see them, to tell the truth. Alice had always been normal. A little strange, but normal. I had always envied her for that. Now I didn't envy her in the slightest. It was weird. A person I had envied was in a worse position than I was in.

While I was visiting them, their son came in. I had seen him when he was a little baby. He looked very different.

For one thing, he was eighteen. There was a little height difference since the last time I had seen him. And when he had been a baby, he had looked so frail. He had been a fat baby, fat but frail. Now he looked anything but frail. There was a look of rebellion in his eyes. Hannah had told me about what he had done in his seventh year at Hogwarts, but still. He was covered in burns, too. From head to toe. Every visible inch of his body had burns on it.

Neville came in every day to visit his parents. So it made sense that I met up with him. When I saw him, he was sitting by his parents' beds, accepting gum wrappers from them. When he heard me come in, he jumped a couple of inches.

"Hello?" I said tentatively.

"Who are you?" he asked suspiciously.

"I'm an old friend of your parents."

"Oh."

"How long have they been like this?"

"Years."

There's something you have to know about me. Back at Morgan's, they didn't teach the same type of magic that they taught at Hogwarts. At Morgan's, I never used a wand. We learned more complex versions of normal spells. The best example was Legilimency.

In England, the primary form of Legilimency was simply seeing random memories until one got to be a fairly accomplished Legilimens. In America, you could hear thoughts. They didn't even have to be the thoughts that the person was thinking at the moment. You got to hear the thoughts that repeated themselves most in the person's head. And once you were good at it, you could choose which thoughts and memories you wanted to hear and see.

I gently touched Alice on the shoulder. I immediately began to see memories from Alice's past. I concentrated harder, and found myself seeing a scene that gave me the chills. Alice, Frank, and Bellatrix Lestrange were standing in a dark alleyway, wands drawn.

"It's two against one," I heard Frank mutter to Alice. I saw her nod, her short hair bobbing. But at the last second, Bellatrix turned her wand from Alice to Frank.

"Crucio!" she screamed.

"No!" Alice shrieked. And the sight went on for hours. Frank was on the ground, shaking. He was in so much pain that he couldn't scream. But next to him, Alice was crying, yelling, begging. I saw that Bellatrix held Alice's wand in her left hand, while she casted the Cruciatus Curse on Frank with her right. It was a while before Frank passed out. Alice screamed again, and tried to shake him, fearing that he was dead.

"Don't worry," Bellatrix sneered at her, "He's not dead. He just will never be the same." With that, she turned her wand on Alice. I watched the scene again, only Bellatrix attacked Alice instead of Frank. It took even longer for Alice to fall. When she was finally on the ground, crying silently, I saw what she saw next.

Bellatrix let her wand fall by her side, as she began to smile maliciously. Her smile scared me. There was nothing that I hated more than Bellatrix's smile.

"If I let you go now," Bellatrix hissed, bending down to whisper in Alice's ear, "You'd recover. Your mind would erase any memory of this night. But I won't let that happen. You will suffer for the rest of your life. Your own son will be embarrassed to admit that you were his mother."

With that, she took a step back, raising her wand to her temple. Alice was still laying on the ground, gasping for air. Bellatrix pulled a silver string from her head, and bent back down over Alice. She inserted this string into Alice's temple.

"You'll never forget this moment. This pain won't go 'll always have this memory. And it will be the first thing you see when you wake up, and the last thing you see before you fall asleep." As the string entered Alice's head, she let out a blood-curdling scream. Bellatrix let out a cackle. Alice was barely conscious. The memory was fuzzy. But I saw Bellatrix bend over Frank before the memory ended.

I knew what I had to do. I pulled out my wand and held it to Alice's temple. I concentrated hard on the memory that I wanted to remove, and pulled. A silver string followed the wand. A couple minutes later, Alice opened her eyes. She blinked a couple of times, confused.

"Where am I?" she asked softly. I told her everything that had happened. When I finished, I waged another war on Bellatrix in Frank's head. I left soon afterwards. I wanted Neville to be alone with his parents when he saw the real people for the first time since he was a baby.

My job in St. Mungo's was done. Alice's war was won. I sat on Remus's bed for another week after that.

A/N: Wow. That was…unexpected, right? Well, it should've been, cause even I didn't see that coming. Seriously. I made that up as I went along. I love it when that happens. Please review!


	22. Chapter 20

A/N: Here's another chapter. I hope you like it.

As Remus got better, I wasn't spending all of my time by his bedside. I spent a lot of time with Alice and Frank. Neville was incredibly grateful to me for giving him back his parents. I never told anyone what I'd seen inside Alice and Frank's heads besides Alice and Frank themselves.

I also knew that I was going to have to make a decision. Either I was going to stay in the wizarding world or I was going to leave again. People never tried to convince me either way. They understood that it was my decision. They knew that there was nothing that they could say to convince me either way.

I was also bored out of my mind. I needed to do something. If I sat around, and did nothing, I'd think of how stupid I'd been, coming back. So, I decided to visit a place from my childhood. One of my favorite places to visit.

The Forbidden Forest.

It was always forbidden, but it wasn't always that kids obeyed that rule. At least, I didn't. I penetrated the secrets of the forest in my sixth year, a feat that I was proud of. Hagrid hadn't even gotten farther than the border between the outer ring, and the dark ring. That was nothing.

I split the forest up into three rings. The outer ring was, as the name suggested, the outermost ring, where people usually went. It was scary and cold, but not as scary and cold and dark as the dark ring. In the middle of the forest was the inner ring. That was where nobody went, because it was miles and miles into the very heart of the forest. The inner ring was beautiful. It was very old, and filled with animals, streams, waterfalls, thick, hard trees, and birds.

I always went to the inner ring when I was upset. I'd only showed one person how to get there, and that was Remus. Of course, Lily had found out her own paths into the forest. But still, they were different from the ones that I found and loved.

When I got to the edge of the forest, I realized that nothing was different. Sure, some of the trees were scared and burned, but that was only bark-deep, so to speak. After the dark ring, you couldn't tell that a war had happened there.

I reached the inner ring in record time. I sat with my back up against one of favorite trees, found one of my old books buried in leaves a few inches away, where I always left them after I was finished reading them.

The book that was sitting there wasn't mine, though. It was newer. It seemed only four or five years old. It was a story about a werewolf, so I figured I knew whose it was. I opened it up, and began to read it. As I loved doing, my mind became fully absorbed in the book, and I let it be. I let myself be taken over by a story, and forget everything. Once again, I was seventeen.

The forest reminded me of my dream when I was twenty. I'd already passed Auror Training with James and Sirius, but I had always wanted more. Being an auror was never my dream. It was my friends' dream. I'd always wanted to become a teacher at Hogwarts. I just supposed that 'auror' would look good on a resume. Though, I might have wanted to rephrase that. 'Dark wizard catcher' would probably look even better.

But, none of my friends ended up really becoming an auror. When James found out that Remmy couldn't be an auror, he threw a hissy-fit, and in the end, all three of us refused to become aurors. Remmy thought we were insane. He always did.

Anyway, since I was back for good, due to that stupid old hag, I figured I might as well try to accomplish my dream. I was close to Hogwarts, and it wouldn't take much. I could find James's spare invisibility cloak, and get to Dumbledore's office that way. It wouldn't take much, but it would be difficult, anyway. Those same hallways - the stone floors, the dimly-lit dungeons - it would be the same. Except for the fact that they were all gone. It was just me and Remus. Alone in the world.

I ran through the scenarios in my head. What if James's invisibility cloak was gone? What if Dumbledore didn't want me to have the job? What if Rose Evans was there? I went through all of the possible scenarios. The bad: What if there is no Hogwarts anymore? The good: What if I do get the job? What next, then? And the ridiculous: What if I get kidnapped by aliens while I'm talking to Dumbledore?

I know, it's insane. What the heck, I'd read too many muggle sci-fi books in my life. I'd spent the last seventeen years in the muggle world, after all. So, I left the book where I'd found it, and began the long trek to Hogwarts. It was summer, and the trees were green. It seemed surreal. The inner ring of the Forbidden Forest was blooming, and St. Mungo's was full.

It took me about a half-hour to get out of the forest, and when I did, I really saw, for the first time, the devastation that the war had left.

The grass was charred. There was caked blood on the stone path. There were no lights from Hogwarts. It looked like a graveyard. I could've sworn I heard people sobbing in the distance, but it was just my imagination. And I knew why my imagination heard those sobs. This place looked like the Potter Manor after Halloween. I was imagining the people sobbing in the distance _then_, not now. Hannah had told me that the main war had been fought at Hogwarts, but I'd never thought that wizard wars could be so dirty. We were wizards, right? Couldn't we find a way to fight our wars neatly? If we had to fight our wars at all?

With an enourmous sigh, I knocked on the oak door. When the door opened, I saw Professor McGonagall standing there. She probably didn't recognize me. I was older now. I wasn't as carefree and happy as I was when I last saw her. After all, she hadn't seen me since I was twenty-one.

"I'm here to see Professor Dumbledore," I said. I could've sworn that McGonagall took a quick step backwards to regain her balance.

"This way," she muttered, a little shakily.

"What's wrong, Professor?" I asked. She didn't answer. We continued walking down the hallway, and up staircases. Nothing seemed to have changed in Hogwarts. There were still cold, stone floors. The banisters on the railings were still shiny wood. The statues with armor were still freaky. But, something was different. It was colder. Maybe it was because there weren't any kids there. But, I'd been the only kid in Hogwarts for a summer. It was different.

We came to the two gargoyles that guarded Professor Dumbledore's office. They still stood there like two sentries.

"Lemon drop," said Professor McGonagall. The wall opened, and revealed a twisting staircase. I followed McGonagall up the stairs. She opened the door without knocking.

"Well, where is he?" I asked. Professor McGonagall sighed, and sat down on his chair, facing me.

"He died a little more than a year ago. Who are you, and why are you here?" She said it simply, so down-to-earth. It was as if it hadn't affected her at all. But I knew that it had. I'd seen her the night that we found Alice and Frank in the alley. I'd seen her when Fabian and Gideon Prewett were found in the Ministry, surrounded by the bodies of Death Eaters. I'd seen her face when she saw the message that Voldemort had written beside them in their own blood: _This will be the fate of those who oppose me. Know that they suffered before they met their death_. I knew that Fabian had been one of her favorite students of all time.

"Don't you recognize me?"

"No. Should I?"

"Yes, you should. I'm Sabrina, Sabrina Johnson. I want to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts here." I saw her face as she realized that I was, in fact, Sabrina Johnson. I watched as her eyes widened, and she stared at me.

"Sabrina, I haven't seen you in-"

"Seventeen years, I know."

"What made you come back?"

"Moony's aunt made me," I replied, honestly.

"Oh."

"So, can I have the job?"

"You do know that job's cursed, right?"

"You're supposed to tell me that after I accept."

"So, school starts in ten days. Have fun with lesson plans." I made a face and made my way to the classroom that I'd be teaching in. It was the start of a new life.

A/N: Woah, talk about fast updates! Well, a lot of this is copied from past versions of this story, so it makes more sense. Please review!


	23. Chapter 21

A/N: Okay, I have a confession to make. I originally planned to have Tonks in it, but I didn't really like it, and it was too complicated. So, there is no Tonks. She never existed.

"You're going to teach at Hogwarts?" Remus asked me incredulously.

"Yeah," I replied, "Why?"

"I don't know. I guess I just expected you to see that I was fine and go back home." He looked guiltily at the ground. I touched his shoulder lightly.

"Remmy, that wasn't home. Hogwarts is." Remus got out of St. Mungo's a couple of days later. He helped me set up my classroom and organize my office. It was nice having him there. Even when we were quietly cleaning, just knowing that he was there, and that he would always be there, was comforting.

September 1st rolled around. I don't know how it came so fast. Remus was at a job interview that night. I would be in the Great Hall. The Sorting passed without me catching a word. I clapped when everyone else clapped. When McGonagall started talking, I started listening.

"Good evening," she began, "This is the first year of a new beginning for our world. Because last year was such a disaster, last year's seventh years will be our first and last eighth years. Welcome to all of the first years. Let the Feast begin."

The food appeared on the table. I smiled, remembering my first time at Hogwarts. The younger kids were eating like crazy, obviously thinking that the food would disappear sometime soon. The older kids ate slowly, pausing between bites to talk to their friends.

As I let my eyes roam over the tables, I saw a person I didn't expect to see. Harry Potter was sitting and eating next to two people I knew, from Remus's letters, were Ron and Hermonie. I would've said that it was James, if I hadn't known that it was impossible.

When dinner was over, McGonagall called the room to attention once again by ringing her glass with her spoon.

"Now that everyone is well-fed," she began again, "I have a few announcements to make. The first years should know that the forest is forbidden. We also have a new teacher this year. Professor Johnson will be teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts. Perhaps she'll last for more than a year. Ms. Johnson, please stand up."

I stood, awkwardly, giving a small smile at the applause. There wasn't much applause. That was to be expected. After all, nobody knew me. They were used to getting new DADA teachers every year.

McGonagall finished her speech. She told everyone to leave, and the staff stayed. It was one of those things that you never knew happened, because you were never part of it. I figured that the staff always stayed after the Feast – I just hadn't realized it because I was always a student.

"So, Sabrina," Slughorn said in his deep voice, "You're back."

"So, Slughorn," I said, imitating his deep voice, "You're still here." I still remembered my hatred of Potions class. I was the worst, and Slughorn hated me for it. A couple teachers laughed, and I smiled. I suppose teachers had talked about me back then.

"Alright," said McGonagall briskly, "This year will be very different than the past years. We've got older students who've fought in a war. They won't be normal. Sabrina, this message is primarily for you, because you're their Defense teacher."

"I understand, Minnie," I replied.

"Do you _have_ to call me that?"

"Yes." Minerva groaned. "I'm a teacher now," I reminded her, "I get to call you by your first name." I knew what McGonagall was thinking. Minnie was Sirius's pet name for her. He got into countless detentions because he used it too often.

Minnie went through a couple other boring little tidbits of information that I didn't really pay attention to. She said something about detentions and homework and dinner. That's all I really heard.

The next day, classes started. I wanted to be ready, so I woke up at three, as usual, had a big breakfast in the kitchens and started preparing for class. My first class, ironically, were the first years. I taught five classes Monday through Thursday, and four classes on Friday.

Around 7:55, the students started showing up. I planned on starting five minutes late for the first week for the lost people. At 8:05, I sat on my desk and began the class.

"Good morning, guys," I called, trying to get them to shut up. They seemed to be slightly confused by me calling them 'guys,' but they were going to get used to it. Or they'd better. So, they shut up pretty quickly.

"Hi, I'm Professor Johnson," I began again, "And I'm your Defense teacher. A little about myself, well, I went through auror training, but I never practiced auror-ness. I've taught in muggle schools, so I guess I'm combining those two experiences, and I'm teaching you guys.

"So this first trimester, we won't really be doing much of any wandwork. We'll get to that in the next trimester. We'll be concentrating on theory and moral values and stuff. So, to begin, can anyone tell be what a 'dark wizard' is?"

The class was silent, until one Hufflepuff girl timidly raised her hand. I nodded at her.

"Um, a wizard who does dark magic?" she replied mildly. I smiled.

"Can anyone tell me what dark magic is?" A Slytherin boy raised his hand this time.

"It's magic designed with the intent of causing people harm." I nodded.

"Right. Now, you're probably thinking, why are we learning this? We're learning defense, right? Not the dark arts. And you're right. But if you're going to defend yourself against something, you have to know at least what it is and the ideas behind it. Makes sense?"

I looked around the classroom, and seeing that the kids looked slightly bored, I continued.

"So, why would someone turn to the dark arts? You can just call out." I hopped off the desk and stood in front of the blackboard.

"Power?"

"Revenge?"

"Life."

"Love."

"Money."

"Friends." When the calling out stopped, I regained my position on the desk.

"So let's deal with the first one. Power. Why would someone turn to the dark arts for power?"

The boy from before raised his hand. I nodded. "Well, if the dark wizards were in power, you couldn't have power unless you were a dark wizard, too."

"Good answer. Anyone else?"

"Dark magic is strong. You can have control over people if you use it." I was glad to see people calling out or raising their hand for a millisecond. This class wasn't going to be formal at all.

"Okay, what about revenge?"

"You can hurt people with dark magic. You can hurt the people who hurt you."

"Life?"

"If people are threatening you to join the dark wizards, you'd need the dark arts."

"Love?"

"Impressing a girl." I grinned.

"Money and friends are really self-explanatory, I think, right?" A couple people nodded, so I continued. "Now, could someone give me the definition of a death eater? Please raise your hands." I called on a girl with brown braids in the front row.

"It's a follower of Voldemort."

"Who's Voldemort?" I asked her.

"A really powerful dark wizard."

"Good answer," I replied. The conversation took off from there. It was in that first class that I realized the gap between the purebloods and the muggleborns. This was all new to the muggleborns. This was obvious and self-explanatory to the purebloods.

I didn't give any homework that first day. I knew that the students would get plenty of homework from teachers who thought that no other teachers would be giving homework. So, I gave them a break. They were first years, after all.

A/N: So, wow. This moved faster than I thought. I'm still considering naming the chapters. If you have an opinion on that, please review! And even if you don't have an opinion, reviews would be wonderful.


	24. Chapter 22

A/N: Here you go. And in comes Harry Potter…

The next classes went the same way. I was planning on teaching the same things to every class for the first trimester. I mean, what had they learned so far? Spells, spell theory, Lockhart books, but Defense was more than that.

Then, the next day, came the eighth years. Harry Potter. It started the same way, until I told them that we weren't learning spells the first trimester.

"What are you, another Umbridge?" Ron demanded. I glared right back at him.

"Mister Weasley, we will get to the spells. But before you cast spells, you have to know what you're up against."

"We know what we're up against," Hermonie chimed in, "Death Eaters."

"Miss Granger, do you honestly think that it's so cut-and-dry? Either someone's a Death Eater or they're not? What constitutes a Death Eater?"

"Someone who works for Voldemort," Ron replied.

"So only Voldemort's minions are bad? What about other dark wizards? Wizards who aren't affiliated with Voldemort. Just because you're not a Death Eater doesn't mean that you're good. Just because you're a Death Eater, you're not necessarily a bad person. To truly understand what you're fighting, you have to realize – you're fighting people, not machines."

"What I'd like to know," Harry Potter asked quietly, "Is why I didn't see you fighting. Were you too cowardly?"

"Mister Potter," I replied coolly, "I don't believe that this class is called 'insult the teacher' class. If you have issues with my bravery, you may come see me after class. In detention, perhaps."

"Is it a crime to ask your teacher if she actually has experience?"

"I have experience. There were wars before you turned up."

"Which comes back to my original question. Why didn't you fight?"

"Detention, Potter. My office, seven o'clock. I'll answer your question for you." I hated giving a Potter detention. It struck home. 'Detention, Mister Potter' was a commonly heard phrase from _my _childhood years. I never expected that I would be giving that command.

The rest of the class was fine. It progressed like every other class. I expected there to be a bit more of an opinion in this group. Resistance to theory, I guess. And who could blame them? They had had Umbridge. The toad.

That evening, at seven, there was a knock on my office door. I knew who it was.

"Come in," I called, as I checked off my lesson plans to see if I was on schedule with my classes. Thank goodness, I was.

I looked up to see Harry looking around as he sat.

"Nice office, right? Look familiar?" He nodded, looking a little bit confused. I don't think he realized that Remus had helped me set it up.

"So, what am I in for?" he demanded. I smiled.

"Oh you won't be doing anything. I'll just be ranting at you, and you'll listen. That's all." Harry looked relieved.

"Don't look so happy about it. It won't be pleasant, I can tell you that." And so, I began. "When I graduated from Hogwarts, I went through auror training. I never became an auror for reasons of my own. The war heated up. I was in the Order along with my friends. People were dying, but never people I knew. When some of my best friends started dying, the war had just ended. Of course, as you know, there were still Death Eaters. I left. I couldn't stand it anymore. You don't realize what it was like."

"Yeah I do," he interrupted. "I was around in the second phase of the war."

"You weren't home. You were off on a quest. It's worse when you don't know what's happened to your friends."

"What about family? I wouldn't know about that either, would I?"

"That makes two of us," I replied. "I couldn't live when I wouldn't know who would be dead tomorrow. The confusion. The uncertainty. I left. I lived as a muggle. I only came back in August. I didn't know there was a war, strange as it sounds."

"Didn't you read the newspaper?"

"I didn't want to know anything. Ignorance is bliss."

"So you were a coward."

"Is it cowardly to leave a world where there isn't anything for you anymore? To start a new life after your old one had been destroyed? The war was over when I left."

"Then why didn't you stay? The war was over. Why didn't you rebuild instead of leaving?" He seemed to want to prove to me that I was a coward. That he was right.

"I didn't want to be surrounded by memories. It wasn't the first time I've left for that reason." Harry was silent. It was probably because he had no idea what I was talking about. I stood up and began pacing.

"Mr. Potter, do not stand up in class and insult your teachers unless you have a legitimate reason for doing so. Understand?" Harry nodded. "Well, good-bye then." He left, and I went back to my lesson plans.

There was another knock on my door a few minutes later. I called the person in, and before I knew it, Remus was behind me, pulling me into an awkward hug.

"Hey Remmy," I sighed.

"What's wrong?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"I just gave Harry Potter a detention, and you ask what's wrong." Remus grinned.

"That bad, huh?" I nodded. Remus pulled himself up onto the desk and sat there, looking at me concernedly.

"I was trying to convince Harry that I wasn't a coward for leaving. He didn't exactly believe me. I didn't want to tell him everything. You can understand that. If I told him that I knew James, he'd treat me like some encyclopedia. I want to tell him, but I don't want to be his only source for information."

"I get that," Remus replied.

A couple weeks later, there was another knock on the door. This one sounded hesitant, so I knew that it was a student. I quickly pushed Remus into the other room of my office and sat back down at my desk.

"Come in," I called, as the chair spun slightly from me suddenly sitting on it. Hermonie Granger, looking extremely nervous, walked in. She kept tucking her hair behind her ears. I motioned for her to take a seat, and she did so.

"So?" I pushed, "What is it?"

"I have a question," she said slowly. I motioned for her to continue. "Well, Harry told Ron and me everything that you told him."

"Understandable," I replied. I had known that much when I had talked to Harry.

"And I couldn't help but think that there was more to it than that. I was wondering if you could tell me more." I sighed. I hadn't expected that. Maybe for her to make sure that Harry wasn't making it all up. Maybe I would have expected her to want more details about what I'd told Harry. Maybe she would have questions about what I'd told him. But a back story? Not a chance.

"I would if I could," I began, knowing full-well that that was a lie. "But it would completely mess up the teacher-student relationship. Students aren't supposed to know everything about their teachers. If they could, they could blackmail, and have the teachers under their control. So, sorry. I can't tell you."

"I understand that, really I do," Hermonie protested. Now that, I could see coming. "But, I'm just curious. See, it would help me understand, if I knew where my teacher was coming from. I would understand where your opinions were coming from."

I groaned. There was no way around this.

"Fine," I grumbled, "But you can't tell anyone. Least of all Mr. Potter." Immediately, her face fell. "So, here goes."

"I was born after my father died," I began. That was how I usually began. "And my mom was a witch. She never told me, though. I was American." I didn't bother to disguise my voice to Hermonie, like I did for everyone else. It just raised questions. "I got a letter in August when I was eleven, inviting me to the Morgan Le Fay School of Magic. My mom wanted me to go. I didn't. We fought.

"I ended up going, and I made three best friends. Artemis Abbott, Kylee Simora, and Rose Evans."

"Rose Evans?"

"Yes, Harry's aunt."

"But I thought-"

"Rose went missing seventeen years ago. Nobody knows where she is. Otherwise, Harry would've lived with her instead of Petunia. Anyway, for three years, we were best friends. Artemis was my closest friend, though. But, in third year, she never came back from Easter break. That was really hard for me. A few weeks before that, my mother had died, and I was hoping that Artemis would adopt me as her sister."

"How did she die?"

"Werewolf attacks." I don't know why Remus thought that that was his cue, but in he walked. Hermonie was completely confused.

"Hello, Hermonie," Remus greeted her with a warm smile.

"Hi," Hermonie replied. I think she was trying to figure out why someone like me had a werewolf in her office. Seeing her that confused made me laugh.

"So, you called?" Remus asked, addressing me.

"Uh, no," I replied, "You came in at the worst possible time."

"Ah," he replied, and strode right back out of my office.

"Back to my story," I continued. "I went to Hogwarts. I became best friends with James Potter, Peter Pettigrew, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. Remus and I eventually became boyfriend and girlfriend. We were planning on getting married, but when James and Lily died, I left. I've been living as a muggle for the past seventeen years."

"I have just one question," Hermonie continued, "Why didn't you become an auror? Harry said you passed the test."

"They wouldn't let Remus. So, the other four of us refused. That's what best friends do."

With that as an answer, Hermonie left. I knew she'd still tell Harry what I'd said. Maybe she'd swear him to secrecy or something. At least, I hoped so.

A/N: Wow, insanely long chapter. REVIEW!!!


	25. Chapter 23

A/N: Thanks for the reviews guys! Keep 'em coming!

The next class I had with the eighth years was on Thursday. I could tell the Hermonie had kept her promise. How? Harry still hated me. Well, disliked me. At least he was civil towards me.

"So, I'm handing out something for the next couple class's homework," I announced, handing out packets of muggle paper for everyone. "It's a project essay thingie."

"Fun," Harry muttered. It was weird. I never noticed when other people muttered. But when Harry muttered, I paid attention. I guess it was because I knew him better. Come on, I changed his diapers.

"The first part of the project is to choose a person from each list. The first list is a list of Death Eaters. The second list has Order members. Your job is to write about why people did or didn't turn to dark magic. You can really do this project any way you want. You can try to relate the two people. You can do them separately, I really don't care. Any questions?" Hermonie raised her hand.

"Yes?" I asked.

"What do the stars mean?"

"Good question. If you choose someone with a star next to it, it means that I know a lot about the person, and you can ask me about them. Sometimes, the information from me and the information in books may be different, so you'd have to choose which one to believe."

The project was definitely fun to grade. Remus helped me. Neville wrote about Bellatrix Lestrange and Severus Snape. Ron wrote about Fenrir Greyback and Remus Lupin. That was definitely interesting. He compared the two. Harry wrote about Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew.

While Sirius had a star next to his name, Harry never asked me for help. I guess he still thought I was Umbridge-like. He probably just wanted the trimester to end so he could work on actual spells. I didn't blame him. Spells were more fun than theory anytime.

I guess Harry weaseled my story out of Hermonie because a couple days after the project, Harry came knocking at my door.

"Come in," I called. Harry walked in and sat down. "Yes?" I prompted.

"Hermonie told me what you told her," he said bluntly.

"Ah," I replied. "So? Why are you here?"

"I wanted to make sure that she wasn't just making the whole thing up. Did you really know my dad?"

"And your mom," I replied, "It took a while, but we eventually became close friends. I also knew your aunt."

"Petunia?"

"Well, yes," I said, "But she's not your only aunt. Your mother had a twin sister, Rose. We were best friends for three years. We were bridesmaids together at your parent's wedding."

"Then why-"

"She disappeared when your parents died. Even her other best friend didn't know where on Earth she was."

"So, why aren't you on the Marauder's Map? It just says 'Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs.'"

"They made that in November of fourth year. They weren't speaking to me then. It's not one of my favorite memories of Hogwarts."

"Why didn't they talk to you?"

"Well, I said some things, and hurt a friend, and, well, I deserved to have no friends. Only one person would even say 'hello' to me, and even she refused to talk to me."

"What did you say?"

"When Remus told me he was a werewolf, I didn't exactly take it well."

"Oh." There was a silence. Harry looked around my office. His eyes fell on a book in my bookcase.

"To Kill a Mockingbird? Isn't that a muggle book?" I turned my spiny-chair around and took the book off the shelf.

"Yeah, and it was my favorite book for a long time. Rose gave it to me. She loved romance novels, I hated them, and so she gave me a non-romance favorite of hers. Of course, this copy's messed up. I can't read it anymore. I have another copy in there." I gestured toward my room.

"Why can't you read it?"

"James and Sirius found out that it was my favorite book, and decided to have some fun. They changed the names around, so I can't read it without cracking up. See for yourself."

I handed him the book. He flipped through it, with a small smile on his face. Then, he looked up. This time, he looked confused.

"But why aren't you in the album Hagrid gave me? If you knew my parents, why aren't you in it?"

I reached into one of my desk drawers and withdrew my album. It was red and gold, with the title The Marauders. I opened it on my desk, facing Harry.

"Remus took me out. Most of these pictures are in your album, with one difference. I'm not in them. Remus asked me if it was okay if he took me out. He didn't want to have to talk about me to you. I guess me leaving was a painful memory for him. If I wasn't in it, you wouldn't think to ask about me."

One by one, I showed Harry the pictures and told him the stories behind them. The first picture was the couples picture on the last day of exams in seventh year. There were four couples: James and Lily, Sirius and Georgia, Peter and Lia, and Remus and me. We all posed in the picture together, hugging. Lia's face was slightly tearstained. She wasn't happy about leaving Hogwarts.

I skipped over the next picture, the one of me kissing Remus. Sirius had been obsessed with taking spy photos, and he'd hidden behind a tree to catch me kissing Remus on our bench. That was my favorite picture. You could see the lake in it. The light was perfectly reflecting off the surface. On the other side of the picture were some leaves from the tree which Sirius had been hiding behind. They made a beautiful border.

There was the picture in the snow. It was right after Sirius asked Georgia out, and before Remus had asked me out, so Lily wasn't in it. There were six of us: James, Sirius, Georgia, Remus, Peter and me.

_"One second," Sirius was saying, pressing a button on a digital camera. He then ran over to us, pushing everyone down into the snow. It was like the domino effect. _

_"Sirius!" James whined. _

_"One more time," Sirius begged._

_"We've already taken this picture twenty-seven times," Georgia groaned, "How many more can he take?"_

_Fifteen minutes later, we finally got it right. Nobody blinked, nobody gave anybody bunny ears, Sirius didn't kill anyone. It was perfect. We stood in a little semi-circle, arms around each other. The thirty-two pictures were worth it, just because we got that one in the end. _

I showed Harry most of the pictures. He'd seen them before, but nobody had shown them to him. He just had the snapshots. I had the movie.


	26. Chapter 24

A/N: Thanks for the reviews, guys! Keep 'em coming! I don't own anything, it hasn't changed.

"The projects were incredible. I enjoyed grading them, and it seemed like you enjoyed writing them. If you didn't enjoy it, you pretended you did,, so, good move." With that, I handed back the projects with my grades and comments on them.

There was a knock on the classroom door.

"Come in," I called. My back was to the door, so it took me a minute to turn around and see who'd come in. It was Kylee.

"Sabrina," she panted, "She's back. I found her." My eyebrows shot upwards. A grin crossed my face.

"Kylee, why don't you wait in my office? I don't have a class after this." Kylee nodded and ran up the stairs to my office. I continued the class, pretending that everything was normal. At the end, I called for Harry to follow me up to my office.

Kylee and Remus were sitting on my bed, impatiently. Kylee had a cloak wrapped around her. She was never good with the cold.

"Kylee," I said, gesturing to Harry, "This is Lily's son, Harry. Harry, this is Kylee, your Aunt Rose's best friend." Harry and Kylee shook hands, and then Kylee turned to me.

"I found her, Sabs," she said, "I saw her walking down the street. I followed her, so you can come help me get her to come back."

"Of course we'll help," I replied, "Remus, do you want to come? You don't really know Rose that well." Remus shrugged.

"Sure I'll come," he said. I looked at Harry and he nodded.

"Well, let's go. Kylee, set up a Portkey." Within a few seconds, my least favorite shoe had become a Portkey.

"5-4-3-2-1," Kylee counted. On one, the Portkey lifted us in the air and flew us to the outside on an apartment building.

"Alohomora," Kylee whispered, and the lock clicked open. We went up the winding staircases, up to the room which Kylee said was Rose's.

We found ourselves right outside a door. It was big and old and strong. Kylee shrugged at me and knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" Rose called. I knew it was Rose in an instant. Who else could sound like Lily?

"It's Kylee," Kylee called, "Open up." There was a moment of hesitation before the door opened, and Rose let the four of us in. She led us, silently, to her living room, and motioned for us to sit on the couch.

"What are you doing here?" she half-demanded, half-sighed. "You know why I left. Nothing's changed."

"Yeah it has. Voldemort's gone. The Death Eaters are gone. People have stopped dying." Kylee, as I had expected, had taken the lead role in talking to Rose.

"Lily's still dead isn't she?" Rose demanded, all weakness gone from her voice. "Tell me how that's changed."

"Rose," I said quietly, "Lily's dead if you live as a muggle or not. You leaving doesn't change that. You can't hide from reality forever. Trust me. I've tried."

Rose looked at me, as if trying to read my mind. She then turned to Harry. She looked at him as if he were a complete stranger.

"Who are you?" she said rudely.

"Rose," I told her, "This is your nephew, Harry Potter. He's Lily's son." Rose stared at Harry. It was only then that I realized how much Harry's eyes looked like his mother's, and his aunt's. They had the same piercing stare but there was softness behind them. I'd missed seeing those eyes every day.

"Will you come back?" Kylee asked her.

"Is Voldemort really gone?" Rose sighed. Kylee grinned, and knocked Rose over in a bear hug. Rose fell off her chair and onto the floor, with Kylee on top of her. Kylee got up in an instant, brushed herself off, and pulled Rose to her feet.

When Rose stood up, she extended her hand to Harry. A soft smile that only she had crossed her face. That was the difference between Lily and Rose. Lily was rash and bold. Rose was quiet and reserved. You could see it when they smiled.

"Hello, Harry," she said calmly, "I'm your Aunt Rose. I'm sorry that you haven't met me until now." Harry shook her hand. I looked at Remus, who had hardly said a thing throughout this whole excursion. He gave me a smile, and followed the rest of us out of the apartment and into the street.

Rose and Kylee were best friends once again. It was nice having them back. The thing that I'd missed most from Morgan's was seeing the two of them. Having best friends nearby really made me feel happier. I don't know why.

We returned to Hogwarts, and I went to my next class. I don't know what my students thought of me when I was half-dancing around my room, and glancing periodically at my office door, where, I knew, Remus, Kylee and Rose were.

But Halloween was coming up. Halloween. When I was a kid, it was fun. I'd help the Marauders play pranks. I was a marauder. When I was in auror training, it was a nice break from work. I could have fun on Halloween. When I lived as a muggle, it was something different entirely.

Halloween was the only time when I let myself remember my old life. I'd take out the album from underneath my bed and look through it for hours. I'd smile and laugh, while, all the while, silent tears would be pouring down my cheeks. Sirius was in Azkaban. Peter was dead. James and Lily were dead. I would never see Georgia, Alice, Ophelia, or Remus again because they lived in the world I'd left.

I'd keep my lights off so trick-or-treaters wouldn't come to my door. I'd stare out the windows, looking at all the kids, playing with their friends, dressed up as stereotypes of me and my friends. I wanted to be them again. Innocent children, who thought their friends would be with them forever.

Rose and I knew better. I'd lost everything when I was thirteen. I'd lost more when I was twenty-one. Rose had lost a sister. We knew that life wasn't perfect.

I'd already talked with Professor McGonagall about Halloween. I'd asked her if I could arrange to have Remus teach instead. Remus could work when he was in pain. He was used to it. He could deal with constant reminders of the things he'd lost. He was able to stay. He was stronger than me. I knew that.

A/N: So that ending was just preparation for the next chapter. I hope you guys enjoyed this one, and I promise, the next one will be a little lighter. Not much, but a little.


	27. Chapter 25

A/N: Let's see how fast I can post this chapter.

The day of Halloween came around. I handed Remus my lesson plans, and he, without a glance at them, went into the classroom. There was still a half-an-hour before class started, so I brought out my muggle TV.

Sirius and I had worked on a project in seventh year for muggle studies. It had mostly been to annoy his cousins, but that doesn't really matter. What does matter is that Sirius and I found a way to get muggle machines to work in Hogwarts. Once we got the TV working, Sirius started being obsessed, not only with photography, but cinematography.

He started taking videos obsessively, like he did with everything else. So naturally, I had a huge collection of 'home' videos. I shoved the first one into the TV, and began watching.

Immediately, James's head filled the screen. He was standing on his bed in the boy's dormitory in seventh year.

"James Potter," Sirius said from behind the camera, "Lily Evans has just agreed to go out with you. How do you feel?"

"Happy," James replied, with a cocky grin on his face, "Totally awesome."

"Where are you planning on taking her?"

"I dunno. The Three Broomsticks?"

"What about Madam Puddifoots?"

"Naw, I don't want her to think I'm making a move on her." By this time, James had sat on the bed, and Sirius had sat on the ground, camera pointing at James.

"What about taking her shopping?"

"Being with a girl when she shops is not my idea of fun."

"So? It's about her, isn't it?"

"Yes, but she can shop anytime."

"She can go to the Three Broomsticks anytime, too."

"Shut up. You're making me nervous about my date." The camera then moved so that Remus's face was filling up the screen.

"Remus, you're about to go on your first date with Sabs. How does that make you feel?" Remus shrugged.

"It depends. If you consider the millions of times that we've talked for hours alone as dates, this isn't our first date. And I count those as dates, so I'm not nervous."

"You know," Sirius said angrily, "This would make a better movie if you told me that you were petrified about your date tomorrow.

With Sirius's grumbling, the screen went black, and I heard Remus's voice from downstairs.

"Good morning," Remus was saying, "Professor Johnson isn't able to teach today, so I'm going to fill in for her."

"Why can't she teach?" one of the sixth years demanded.

"She isn't feeling very well." With that, Remus continued the lesson. The sixth years were learning non-verbal spells. Remus had always been a good teacher, and he worked wonders on the sixth years.

Next up were the third years. I had something special planned for them. Remus was going to be so mad…

"Good morning," he began again, "I'm filling in for Professor Johnson today, and she wants me to teach you guys about…" I could hear a quill scribbling on the desk below, and I scurried over to the piece of paper that Remus and I communicated on.

_**Are you insane?**_

_Just do it. _

_**What do you want me to do?**_

_Just tell your story. _

I heard a sigh from the classroom, and I continued listening at the door.

"She wants me to teach you guys about werewolves. And in order to teach this, she wants me to tell you my story. As some of you may know, I am a werewolf. I taught here for a year, so it's common knowledge to some of the older students. Anyway, where to begin.

"I guess I'll start with my brother. Many years before I was born, my parents had a son named Fenrir Lupin. He was bitten. My parents didn't know what to do. What are you supposed to do when your kid is a werewolf? So they locked him in the basement. When he was twelve, he ran away.

"When he was fifteen, and I was four, he came back to take revenge on my family. He killed my parents and bit me. Today he's known as Fenrir Greyback. Most of anti-werewolf thoughts and ideas are because of his model. Greyback is an evil werewolf. He's also a famous one. So the most famous werewolf is bad.

"Anyway, I was raised by my aunt, went to Hogwarts, made some best friends, and went through auror training. They didn't let me become an auror in the end because of the whole werewolf thing. That's pretty much a summary of my life. So, now, we can discuss werewolves in general. Does anyone have any first reactions to what I just told you?"

"Well, mister," a high-pitched voice said, "We had Professor Umbridge last year, and she taught us all about how werewolves were evil. Are we supposed to take your word over her's?"

"Yes," he replied, "And, as a side note, I hate that woman. Because of her, I can't get a job. Anyway, any more questions?"

"Have you seen Greyback since then?"

"Well, I did meet up with him when I tried to get the werewolves to support Dumbledore, but Voldemort got to them first, and Greyback tried to kill me. So, none of our meetings have been very pleasant on my part."

"How were you able to be a werewolf in Hogwarts?"

"You know the Shrieking Shack? There you go." The questions continued until the class was up, and Remus stormed through the door to my office.

"Are you insane?" he demanded.

"Thanks, Remmy," I said, grinning.

"Why?"

"I thought, who better to teach the students about werewolves, than a werewolf?"

"Yes, but-"  
"Remmy, everyone knows you're a werewolf. You'd better get used to that not being a secret. And in return for this favor, I'll work on passing that legislation. Okay?"

"What legislation?"

"The one against the one Umbridge passed so you can't get a job."

"Oh. Thanks."

"No problem." With that, he pulled me into a bear hug.

"You do realize," I whispered into his ear, "That you have classes to teach after lunch?"

"Does it matter?"

"I love you, Remus Lupin. I always have, and I always will. I'll never leave again."

"I love you too Sabrina," he whispered back, "With all my heart."

A/N: Okay, I'm ending the story here. It's 25 chapters long, and from the first coherent idea for this story until today, it's been a little over three years. Of course, this is the fourth version of the story, and I didn't start to actually write it until around 1.5 years ago, but whatever. I hope you enjoyed it, and this is your last chance to review, so please do.


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